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  1. #1
    4th and 26 is offline Training Camp
    Join Date
    Sep 2006

    The Brett Favres 1000 excuses

    The Brett Favres 1000 excuses

    1) The receiver ran the wrong way
    2) The grass was to green
    3) My hamster died last night
    4) Donald Driver runs into triple coverage
    5) No one on the teams speaks Mississippi
    6) There is no wind resistance in domes
    7) The temperature is not exactly 32.76 degrees
    8) The sun was out
    9) My shoes were put on the wrong feet
    10) Ahman Green fumbles to much
    11) My Car was broken into last night
    12) I have a head ache
    13) The doctor called and found a tumor on my arm
    14) My dog ran away
    15) Bubba Franks drops to many balls
    16) The coach had a brain fart
    17) I didn't get 8 hours of sleep
    18) J. Walker is holding out
    19) I never had a good receiver
    20) I never had a good running back
    21) Urlacher was in my face all day
    22) I was hungry
    23) I pissed my pants
    24) I have a bad dose of Vicodin
    25) I was sober
    26) I am color blind
    27) I never learned how to read
    28) Budweiser tastes better than Miller Light
    29) The center had gas
    30) The Defense sucks
    31) I was day dreaming about cheese
    32) The turf was to soft
    33) I was not playing in chicago(I Know this is a bad one)
    34) Warren Sapp Sat on me
    35) The wind was to strong
    36) Some one was flashing me.
    37) slick willy Butkus spit on the ball
    38) My thumb was still sore
    39) I was to drunk
    40) I wanted to see how Many ints I could throw in one game
    41) The defense was to good
    42) I was playing Dallas in Dallas
    43) I broke a cleat
    44) I didn't puke before the game
    45) I had jock itch
    46) The football was flat
    47) My back hurts
    48) I have 3 MVP trophy's
    49) The people of Wisconsin are stupid
    50) I was constipated
    51) I over slept
    52) The receiver dropped the ball
    53) The offensive coordinator called the play
    54) I rely on the hail Mary to much
    55) The tundra was to soft
    56) The tundra was to hard
    57) I hit a bird with the football
    58) The center didn't hike the ball with laces out
    59) Someone flashed me with a laser pointer
    60) My receivers are revolting against me
    61) My wallet was to fat
    62) Mike Holmgren quit
    63) I had dirt in my eye
    64) My helmet was on backwards
    65) I have a blister on my finger
    66) John Madden has his head stuck up my jiggly butt
    67) The tight end retired before the game
    68) The music was to loud
    69) I switched religions
    70) I can't read
    71) Someone bit me on the arm
    71) I hurt my ankle jumping in the stands
    72) I didn't get my Gatorade
    73) It was to hot to play
    74) I forgot my name
    75) I thought i was playing defense
    76) I tried to throw my Ghost pass
    77) The ref was in the way
    78) The field is to narrow
    79) I didn't have my lucky sock
    80) My uniform shrunk
    81) I have tennis elbow
    82) I saw Waldo in the stands
    83) I had a bad dream last night
    84) Alex Brown hurt me the play before
    85) My offensive line is old
    86) I am mad I didn't get my 4th MVP
    87) Chris Hovan poked me in the eye
    88) My balls itch to much
    89) The running back is ***
    90) We hired John Shoop as the offensive coordinator
    91) My knee was down but the ref didn't see that
    92) My wife is pregnant
    93) Ninjas stole the playbook
    94) I placed a bet against the Packers
    95) I am home sick
    96) I see dead people on the field
    97) I didn't pack my teddy bear
    98) I have a tooth ache
    99) I taut I taut a putty tat
    100 I have never had a losing season
    101) The receiver didn't jump for the ball
    102)The Coach doesn't like me
    103)The WR is stupid
    104)The Bears defense is to good
    105)My hands are too large
    106)I got kicked in the head
    107)The dog chewed up my lucky sock
    108)I bit my tongue
    109)I never learned how to read
    110)Madden doesn't love me anymore
    111)I don't play well on Mondays anymore
    112)The NFL won't let me wear green shoes
    113)Gado fumbles to much
    114)Sherman called the wrong play
    115)Davenport didn't wipe his butt
    116)I lost my gold tooth
    117)I had a nightmare last night
    118)The IRS called me last night
    119)I have a secrete admirer named Bubba
    120)Deanna has PMS
    121)My back hurts from sleeping on the couch last night
    122)My beer was stale
    123)My kid lost his school books again
    124)Grandma was stuck in the attic
    125)The wind was loud last night
    126)My cars AC was broken
    127)I can't remember who I play for
    128)I really hate the cheesehat
    129)I have flashbacks of 4th and 26
    130)Jim bates quit the team
    131)The running back is hurt
    132)Bubba franks can't catch
    133)Urlacher spit on the ball
    134)I have the runs
    135)My kid flunked school
    136)chuck Norris kicked me in the head
    137)The ball was deflated
    138)The ball was over inflated
    139)I forgot the play
    140)I will only Play for Sherman
    141)The QB coach doesn't like me
    142)I didn't like my fathead picture
    143)Robert Brooks did not play today
    144)Greenbay is cold
    145)The Packer suck
    146)I didn't get voted to the probowl
    147)Tausher missed a block
    148)The fullback broke his thumb
    149)Bearzilla threatened to kick my butt
    150)Mike brown hit me in the head
    151)I didn't see lance Briggs
    152)The football laces were dirty
    153)I didn't get a raise
    154)Marvin Harrison doesn't play for the packers
    155)I didn't read the Sunday comics
    156)The remote control doesn't work
    157)I have a brain tumor
    158)The center peed his pants
    159)A fan took the ball from my hand
    160)The burger king guy doesn't play for the packers
    161)Joey Harrington is a better QB than me
    162)J. Walker hurt his leg
    163)J.Walker is holding out for more money
    164)Howard Cosell came to me in a dream and called me stupid
    165)I am scared of my shadow
    166)The second and third string didn't play today
    167)I didn't know this game was important
    168)I have a sore thumb playing videogames
    169)I could not find my car keys
    170)My wife is having an affair
    171)Robert Ferguson really sucks
    172)The safety hit me in the back
    173)Nathan Vasher jumped in front of the receiver
    174)I threw the ball with my left hand
    175)I have turf Toe
    176)I just found out Santa Clause is not real
    177)Katrina destroyed my childhood home
    178)The dog buried the playbook
    179)The WR fell down
    180)Someone flashed me in the stands
    181)I found out I was adopted
    182)I have Amnesia
    183)TO called me ***
    184)Someone stole my Identify
    185)The doctor called and my brain was defective
    186) I didn't had my snickers candy bar today
    187) I am sober
    188) I have leg cramps
    189) I didn't get laid last night
    190) I got arrested last night
    191) I lost a cleat from my shoe
    192) The fieldgoal kicker kicked my hand instead of the ball
    193) Tank johnson landed on me
    194) Jeff Garcia asked me out on a date before the game
    195) I got lost in the parking lot
    196) I have a hairball caught in my throat
    197) The center threw up on the ball
    198) someone flashed a laser pointer in my eye
    199) The center stepped on my foot
    200) My wife cut her finger
    201) Mike Tice didn't get me Superbowl tickets
    202)Archie manning yelled at me
    203)The ref is blind
    204)The ref interfered with the pass
    205)The TE broke his leg
    206)The media asked me if I was going to retire
    207)Grandma baked a pie with bad apples
    208)I am depressed
    209)I have a rash on my butt
    210)My chin strap is loose
    211)My barber cut my hair to short
    212)I got a tattoo on my butt
    213)It snowed last night
    214)I want a new contract
    215)My arm was tired from masturbating last night
    216)I have the runs
    217)I have split personalities
    218)Reggie white didn't say his prayer during the game
    219)Bart Starr called me a wuss
    220)Aaron Rodger stabbed me in the back
    221)Someone tied my shoelaces together
    222)Ahman Green didn't play today
    223)I have an outer body experience last night
    224)My Spine was crooked
    225)I over slept
    226)I didn't puke before the game
    227)I watched the movie the replacements and it scared me
    228)I got horny watching the cheerleaders grazing in the field at halftime
    229)I dropped the soap in the shower
    230)I didn't save any money be switching to gecko
    231)Dan Marino threatened to kill me if I break the TD record
    232)I was worried about my acting career
    233)Deanna's sisters/brothers cousin was arrested last night
    234)The media stopped talking to me
    235)Someone spiked my water bottle
    236)I am having Vicodin withdraws
    237)I found out my favorite sheep died last night
    238)The packers play a first place schedule
    239)Favre is still a 3 time MVP
    240)Those INTs are not his fault because he has no running game
    241)Favres jersey shrunk
    242)Someone put Liquid heat in favres jock
    243)A bird flew in front of my pass and deflected it
    244)That was my clone that played
    245)The Viagra didn't wear off
    246)I stopped smoking
    247)I found out who the Real Batman was
    248)I didn't want to get hurt
    249)I like the perfect spiral
    250)The offensive line sucks.
    251)someone tied my shoe laces together
    252)wins don't matter anymore because i am a shoe in Hall of Farmer
    253)I broke up with my special man-friend last night.
    254)I've got a Boyle on my a$$ that feels like petting a chihuahua.
    255)How about I got my ###### stuck in a Sheep and I couldn't do the 5 step drop
    256)I found out the center was on Americas most wanted
    257)My nose was bleeding
    258)Sherman yelled at me
    259)Someone broke into my house
    260)I had a bad dream about hurricane Ditka
    261)I am going to be in the sequel to something about Mary
    262)Deanna sprained her ankle
    263)I forgot the play count
    264)The defense was lucky
    265)I jammed my thumb on a helmet
    266)My jersey was dirty
    267)favre jock strap was on backwards
    268)the F#*kin center blew a fart
    269)There was a recall on my favre dolls
    270)Bart Starr took a dump in my helmet
    271)I could not hear the play called in
    272)Walker,Green,Davenport,Ferguson and Franks were injured
    273)I found out my kids are really Lynn Dicky's
    274)The defense keeps giving up more pts
    275)I have a secret admirer
    276)There was a heat wave in Kiln Mississippi
    277)I left the water running at the house
    278)I was drafted into the army
    279)My brother lost his keys to the house
    280)Grandma was busted for smoking grass
    281)Parris Hilton keeps leaving messages on my phone
    282)Teddy Thompson doesn't like me
    283)I saw my shadow which means 3 more ints today
    284)I saw Jesus's face on the back of the centers shirt
    285)I have a cramp in my hand
    286)I was thirsty on that play
    287)Someone called my mom a beeyatch
    288)Someone was reflecting the sun in my eyes with a mirror
    289)Someone knocked on my door at 2:00 A.M.
    290)I have a Tee time after the game
    291)I was mad at Donald Driver
    292)I can still play ball with better receivers
    293)My leg was broken
    294)I had a dream about Warren Sapp in a thong
    295)someone tried to kill me last night
    296)I was dizzy from playing ring around the rosey
    297)Someone switched my helmet with the punters
    298)Antonio Freeman was arrested last night
    299)The Packerfans were booing at me
    300)The cat had kitens last night
    301)Ferguson ran out of bounds
    302)I hate Playing on the road in domes
    303)Michael Irvin left his crack pipe in my car
    304)My parole officer gave me a body search
    305)Tundra hugged me to tight and hurt my back
    306)I pulled my hamstring running out on the field
    307)Someone puked on my shoes
    308)My helmet visor was scratched
    309)Some cheesehead Flashed me.
    310)My Girlfriend is pregnant
    311)Someone is blackmailing me
    312)I placed a bet against the packers
    313)My best friend got arrested with sheep
    314)My college friends kept me up all night
    315)I lost my virginity last night
    316)The packers asked me to take a pay cut
    317)Sterling Sharp called me a bum
    318)Kevin green made me puke on the field
    319)There was turf stuck on my helmet
    320)The "G" on my helmet fell off
    321)Someone put stick em on the football
    322)I have tennis elbow
    323)My pinkie finger is infected
    324)Someone stepped on my good hand
    325)I riped my pants on the field
    326)Someone kicked my in the groin
    327)I have wax build up in my ear
    328)Someone gave me a wedgie
    329)We didn't play the saints in this game
    330)A witch doctor put a spell on me
    331)I stepped in dog poop
    332)The mob broke my hand with a hammer
    333)I failed a drug test(vicodin)
    334)I only care about the TD record
    335)Someone dared me to throw the game away
    336)I hate the west coast offense
    337)I had to put the dog down
    338) I lost my SB ring at the cleaners
    339)I didn't go to church today
    340)I struck a deal with the devil
    341) I was exposed to cryptomite
    342)Someone hit me in the arm with a lead pipe
    343)I had razor burn
    344)My eyebrows were burned off
    345)Men in Black zapped the center
    346)The packers have 12 championships
    347)George W Bush made me throw the football to the wrong team
    348)The packers want to draft Reggie bush
    349)I ball was dirty
    350)I had a stuffy nose
    351)The light went off
    352)The viking mascot threaten to kick my but
    353)There was a 40 mile per hour wind
    354)The Moons gravity cause the ball to float
    355)The earth was spinning to fast
    356)I tore my ACL and MCL
    357)Mike Ditka called me a sissy boy
    358)I landed on my keys
    359)There was a rock in my shoe
    360)I had a knee burn
    361)I had a sun burn
    362)Troy Aikmen was playing against me
    363)We played on Thursday instead of Sunday
    364)I drank to much coffee
    365)A Tornado destroyed my barn
    366)Today was Ahman Green day
    367)The packers signed TO
    368)Kevin Williams bit my finger off
    369)We played the game in a dome
    370)We lost the game as a team not my 6 turnover.
    371)I didn't want to mess my hair up
    372)Chuck Norris kicked my in the head and butt
    373)J.Walker refused to catch the ball
    374)The field was to short
    375)The ref called the play dead
    376)Chad Clifton bruised my butt when he patted me on the last play
    377)Someone grabbed my face mask
    378)The refs don't like me anymore
    379)Steve Young has a voodoo doll of me with needles stuck in me
    380)Madden didn't put me on his cover
    381)There was a power failure in the day time
    382)I was watching the jumbo TV screen
    383)I only throw 1 yard TD passes
    384)Ferguson didn't get 2 feet down
    385)I wanted to give Strahan the Sack record
    386)Charles tillman hit me in the back
    387)I don't like playing for the packers anymore
    388)The smelling salt was tainted
    389)It was snowing real bad
    390)I rotator cuff is torn
    391)My shoe lace broke
    392)My glove has a hole in one of the fingers
    393)Someone stuck gum on the ball
    394)The Ball was too Round
    395)I like the hail Mary pass play a lot
    396)My shoes don't match
    397)My pants keep falling down
    398)I have fleas
    399)I was involved in a 3 car accident last night
    400)I had a cavity search before entering the stadium
    401)My arm was in a cast
    402)My goldfish was sick
    403)I am suffering from food poisoning
    404)Jerry McGuire screwed my contract
    405)My pads made me look fat
    406)I demand to be traded
    407)I didn't have the oil changed in my car
    408)I made a bet that I could throw 6 ints before getting pulled
    409)Jeff Foxworthy called me a red neck
    410) I was laying on the ground when I threw the ball to Vasher
    411) Terrorist threaten to cut my head off
    412)I was focusing on my retirement speech
    413)I am worried about my job
    414)The ref caught the ball
    415) The ball was to hard
    416)There was a riot in the stands
    417)I ate a bad hotdog
    418)There was no ice in the lockerroom
    419)KGB used my cellphone during non peak hours
    420)Tommy Harris punched me in the gut
    421)The packers sold the team
    422)I was wondering what is a Packer?
    423)Paul Horning placed a bet on the other team
    424)Jim McMahon shaved my head
    425)Davenport never washes his hands
    426)The cat bit my thumb
    427)My dentist gave me to much novacane
    428)I had 12 mosquito bites on my throwing arm
    429)I had chicken pox
    430)I quit smoking
    431) I didn't eat my Wheaties for breakfast
    432)The neighbors car alarm kept me up all night
    433)My aftershave gave me a skin rash
    434)My hormones are raging
    435)I have hemorrhoids
    436)we didn't have a team prayer before the game
    437)Desmond Howard was injured today
    438)A spider bit me on my non throwing arm
    439)I have a blood clot in my arm(not sure which one)
    440)The number was torn of my jersey
    441)I was sacked real hard today
    442)I have a kink in my neck
    443)I was molested my by neighbor 20 years ago
    444)I sneezed at the same time I through the ball
    445)I need Tommy John surgery on my throwing arm
    446)I finally saw the clip where LT broke Theismans leg.(now I am scared to play)
    447)We didn't lose the game we just ran out of time
    448)I Miss mike holmgren coaching me
    449)I have never recovered from Ray Rhodes coaching me
    450)I saw a naked Indian man in my dream
    451)That was not me playing
    452)I Don't trust the WRs
    453)Kyle Boller is the next Joe Montana
    454)I was thinking about my HOF speech
    455)The center forgot to hike the ball
    456)I just found out I was a test tube baby
    457)I sprained my ankle again
    458)I dislocated my ring finger
    459)I didn't eat breakfast this morning
    460)I was worried about my golf swing
    461)I have stomach cancer
    462)Some woman claims to be the mother of my children
    463)I never met my real father
    464)I found out my father is really my uncle
    465)I cut my lip on a can of coke
    466)I have a blister on my non index finger
    467)The QB coach kissed me on my head and now he calls me everyday
    468)I am rebelling against the packers organization
    469)I only get 15% of all cheesehat sales
    470)I am no longer the highest paid player in the league
    471)Donald driver is to slow
    472)Samkon Gado stepped on my foot
    473)I hurt my shoulder blocking for Ferguson
    474)I have amnesia on the field
    475)I called an audible and nobody heard it
    476)These guys stink
    477)I never lost a game when the temp was colder than 14 degrees
    478)I won a superbowl 10 years ago
    479)I drank some bad moonshine before the game
    480)I just found out I suffer from dementia
    481)Voices in my head told me to throw the ball
    482)I never intend to throw and INT but it just happens
    483)My mind was not in the game
    484)My dog had puppies
    485)I wife is suing me because I left the toilet seat up again
    486)I was worried about getting a traffic ticket since my car was double parked
    487)The team doctor wrapped my ankle to tight
    488)I was stumped on my crossword puzzle
    489)Someone left a burning bag on my porch last night.
    490)I hurt myself at the sperm bank
    491)Bubba Franks keeps getting hurt
    492)Nobody wants to catch the ball anymore
    493)Longwell missed the fieldgoal
    494)I didn't practice well this week
    495)Grady jackson fell on my foot during practice
    496)I can't see well out of my left eye
    497)I stepped in a gopher hole
    498)My wife stabbed me in the leg with a fork
    499)I had my fingernails done
    500)Chad Johnson sent me a case of Pepto Bismol

  2. #2
    4th and 26 is offline Training Camp
    Join Date
    Sep 2006

    Re: The Brett Favres 1000 excuses

    501)It was not goat season
    502)We are playing for a draft pick
    503)My uniform was faded
    504)I put my shoes on the wrong feet
    505)I keep seeing 11 urlachers on the field
    506)The defense switched uniforms with the offense
    507)Our special teams suck
    508)I can't remember who on first whats on second
    509)Curly,Larry and Moe were on the field
    510)I don't know my own are strength
    511)I swallowed a fly
    512) I was stepped on a nail
    513)I had a bad sunburn
    514)Mr.Hat had favre cornered in the sauna
    515)That the season didn't matter, as the Packers have 12 championships.
    516)Janet Jacksons boob popped out
    517)I saw Rosanne Barr naked and lost my sight
    518)The receiver over ran my pass
    519)The Safety got in the way
    520)I had a root canal done and the novacane didn't wear off
    521)I lost my lucky rabbits foot
    522)The devil made me do it
    523)I was abducted by aliens
    524)The people of Mississippi still like me
    525)People of Wisconsin are stupid
    526)Barry Sanders didn't play for the team
    527)Reggie white retired
    528)Walker fumbled the ball once
    529)Someone shot me in the back with a pellet gun
    530)Lance Briggs threw a snowball at my head
    531)I ate some turf that upset my stomach
    532)I got a turf burn on my elbow
    533)I got a turf burn on my other elbow
    534)I found out that my credit card was rejected
    535)I have rabies from the neighbors squirrel
    536)My tongue was stuck to a cold flag pole
    537)my peepee was stuck in my zipper
    538)Jerry rice doesn't play for the packers
    539)My sight is not as good as it use to be
    540)The receivers collided into each other
    541)My highschool coach was arrested for gambling
    542)Someone keyed my car
    543)The offensive line jumped to early
    544)Nobody was blocking the defense
    545)I left my lucky necklace on the bookstand
    546)I won the lottery and money means nothing for me
    547)I am trying to get Sherman fired
    548)I tried complete a pass to my self
    549)Longwell has a bad leg
    550)I have a concussion
    551)Someone in the stands punched me in the neck
    552)I had to play with my golf shoes
    553)I hurt my arm bowling last night
    554)we still play 15 more games
    555)I tried the statue of liberty play
    556)Ahman Green crapped his pants
    557)My depends were giving me a wedgie
    558)Someone spinned my in circles and i threw up
    559)My time travel machine was broken
    560)My wife cleaned the floor with my toothbrush
    561)My dentures fell out
    562)Jay Leno canceled my guest appearance
    563)The president bet against the packers
    564)Someone kid napped my family
    565)Ray Nitschie Called me a wuss in my sleep
    566)Ricky Williams smoked pot with me
    567)The air was to thin
    568)The humidity was to hot
    569)The goat farmer was home last night
    570)I ate my cheesehat and I got sick
    571)I had detention
    572)I had a doctors note
    573)A photographer took a picture of me throwing the ball
    574)Someone shot the ball out of my hand
    575)i got sucker punched by a gorilla
    576)I got hit in the knee with a bazooka
    577)I real father kicked my ass
    578)I bruised my tail bone
    579)I had a vasectomy yesterday
    580)I got beat up on the WWE.
    581)My wisdom teeth came in
    582)I got ran over by a reindeer
    583)Helga the viking chick made a pass at me
    584)I once scored 4 TD in a highschool football game
    585)I fell down the stairs
    586)I fell in the bathtub reaching for the soap
    587)I was exposed to radiation
    588)I was car jacked and pistol whipped
    589)Mike Tyson bit my ear off
    590)Someone put a spider in my shoes
    591)My knee brace is defective
    592)The Pepsi machine was not on my team(stupid commercial)
    593)Miller light taste great but it was less filling
    594)The TE said my butt looks big
    595)I ate raw eggs before the game
    596)Bill Romanoski spit in my face
    597)My face mask fell off
    598)Ray Lewis stabbed me in the arm
    599)Ed reed snorted Cocaine with me before the game
    600)My feet smell real bad
    601)My steroids made my arm shrink
    602)I tested positive to Botox injections
    603)Friend was on TV
    604)I tripped on some Lego's
    605)I have a rash on my arm pit
    606)The WR fell asleep at our meetings
    607)I swallowed my tongue
    608)The defense lost the game not me
    609)I didn't get my police escort to the game
    610)Donald Trump Fired me
    611)I was voted off survivor
    612)Cameron said she would give me a BJ if I lose the game
    613)My hands are to small
    614)I grind me teeth when I sleep
    615)My dog peed on my leg
    616)My left Nut was swollen
    617)I got a yeast infection
    618)I had a nightmare about Madden Dying
    619)Jerry Glandville still calls me Mississippi and I don't like it
    620)Mississippi fell into the gulf of Mexico
    621)Momma told me foosball is for the devil
    622)The waterboy pissed in my water cup
    623)Someone superglued my hand to my jockstrap
    624)My cup was painted Blue and Orange
    625)Urlacher said he was going to meet me after the game and kick my ass
    626)I have chronic wasting decease from mounting a deer
    627)I taut I taut I saw a putty tat.
    628)I got exposed to Agent Orange in Vietnam
    629)Aliens planted a microchip in my brain
    630)I was circumcised before the game.
    631)I ate beans before the game and I had to toot a lot.
    632)My childhood pony died last night
    633)John Madden told me he was going to be in town
    634)The lions struck a deal that sent Harrington to the packers for me
    635)Dante Culpepper ratted me out about the sex boat
    636)I had miller light poisoning
    637)I had vomit go through my nose
    638)I bumped my head on the airplane
    639)I have dome stadium sickness
    640)There is to much pollen in the air
    641)I got my luggage switched at the airport
    642)I was swept up by a tornado that made me very dizzy
    643)Dan Marino hired a hit man to take me out if I get to 400 TD passes
    644)Joe Montana called me overrated
    645)I got caught stealing money from the hurricane fund
    646)Mark chumra was caught sleeping with my daughter
    647)I have a infected ring finger
    648)I have lead poisoning
    649)I ate paint chips as a kid
    650)I have a paper cut on my non throwing hand.
    651)I have the flu and a cold
    652)I took a cough medicine that made me sleepy
    653)I have acid reflux
    654)I have irritable bowl syndrome
    656) I had a hamburger that tested positive for mad cow disease
    657) I have dry skin
    658)The Tooth fairy took my buck teef in the middle of the night
    659)I just found out that Lassy died
    670)I needed to exercise my demons
    671)I just found out that Santa Claus is not real
    672)My shoulder pads were to tight
    673)I didn't have matching socks
    674)Someone stole my shoes
    675)I left my autographed picture of John madden at home
    676)Mike Holmgren told the NFL that I have a drinking problem still
    677)I sat on a cactus last night
    678)The battery to the smoke alarm was losing power
    679)My car radio was stolen last night
    680)There was a full moon out last night
    681)The earth gravitational pull was real strong today
    682)I got hit my a meteor last night
    683)My kid kept crying last night
    684)I didn't get any sleep last night
    685)The Sun was to dull today
    686)I broke my putter on the 10th hole yesterday
    687)I lost 10k at the dog races last night
    688)My wife is having her period right now.
    689)I racked my nuts masturbating last night
    690)Someone threw a snowball at my dog yesterday
    691)My kids blew up the toilets at school yesterday
    692)The Bear fans are picking on me
    693)Nate Newton dropped of some large bags of laundry at my house
    694)The FBI raided my house last night and took my SB trophy
    695)J. Walker is mad a me for opening my big mouth
    696)My dog tried to hump me last night
    697)My dog humped my wife last night and she liked it.
    698)I got arrested for animal cruelty
    699)I burned my eyebrows last night making dinner
    700)I wife would not let me play football today unless i took out the trash
    701)I had my picture taking buying tampons
    702)My had hurts from signing autographs
    703)The Bears stole the playbook
    704)Randy Moss mooned me and I liked it
    705)I have a blister on my hand from spanking my monkey to much
    706)I was arrested last night for child porn
    707)The highschool teacher ran away with my kid to Mexico
    708)Grandma lost her glasses last night
    709) I stepped on a nail and it hurt my foot.
    710)BenGay burns my lips
    711)Toothpaste Burns my Butt hole
    712)The toilet would not stop running last night
    713)Al Bundy kicked me in the head
    714)The neighbors kid stole the new paper
    715)The needle broke off in my arm
    716)I have arthritis in my elbow
    717)I tore a tendon in my leg
    718)I am stuck in quicksand
    719)I missed the sopranos last night
    720)I was at the casino betting my life saving away
    721)Dennis Rodman came over last night and banged my wife
    722)I went Sky diving and my parachute didn't open
    723)I took Viagra and vicodin at the same time
    724)The doctor told me I have 6 weeks to live.
    725)I just found out that moms home was destroyed by termites
    726)I can't find a clean pair of underwear
    727)Jesse Jackson called me a racist
    728)Gangbangers broke Favre arm
    729)I choked on my mouth piece
    730)The ball was to heavy to throw
    731)The ball was to soft
    732)Some kids egged my house and TP it also
    733)Holy water burns my skin
    734)The Plane hit a deer on the runway
    735)I was hit in the head with a hockey puck
    736)I had frost bite on my fingers
    737)The Punter muffed the punt
    738)The owner made me wash his car
    739) I had ring around the collar
    740)I used to much hand lotion
    741)I got sick licking an envelope
    742)I got in a fight with Olin Kruetz and he broke my jaw
    743)A jackass kicked my sternum in
    744)I fell off a horse
    745)The dog bit me in the ass
    746)I was hypnotized by the ceiling fan
    747)My girlfriend got in a fight with my wife
    748)The chicago bears kicked my butt the following week
    749)My MVP's were sold at a flea market
    750)I have a heart murmur

  3. #3
    4th and 26 is offline Training Camp
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    Sep 2006

    Re: The Brett Favres 1000 excuses

    751)I was sprayed by a skunk
    752)I ate a bad case of roadkill
    753)My wife set my car on fire
    754)The dog was hit by a car
    755)I had beef jerky caught between my teeth
    756)Someone stole my car radio
    757)someone hit me in the head with a beer bottle
    758)I had a heart attack
    759)The right guard it a racist
    760)I voted for Kerry
    761)I slept in the dog house last night
    762)I found out my wife is actually my cousin
    763)Someone put sugar in the gas tank
    764)We lost power last night
    765)The storm kept me up all night
    766)Jesus said I was overrated
    767)I was at the Hodown last night and someone stepped on my foot
    768)I fell a sleep in the bath tub
    769)I was short changed on my check this week
    770)There was an earthquake in Iran yesterday
    771)I have pink eye
    772)I am bipolar
    773)There was an earth quake last night
    774)Dan Marino would not let me use his lucky glove
    775)I lost in Texas hold em last night
    776)I wanted to see brokeback mountain
    777)I left my insurance card at home
    778)Cameron Diaz called me a dork
    779)I hurt my arm opening my beer.
    780)I stepped on a rusty nail
    781)Someone glued my eyes shut
    782)Someone put itching powder in my helmet
    783)What can I say the packers suck but it is not my fault.
    784)I missed survivor
    785)Chuck Norris was not available to play today.
    786)Someone asked me if I wanted paper or plastic.
    787)My jersey was dirty
    788)My lockerroom was not clean
    789)I have foam hat poisoning
    790)I saw Grady Jackson take a shower
    791)I bearfan punched me in the eye when I did the lambeau leap
    792)Today was bring your hunting gun to work.
    793)Mike Holmgren called my last night and said I should retire.
    794)Madden no longer loves me.
    795)Sterling Sharpe is suing me for breaking my neck
    796)I was a witness to a murder
    797)I see drunk people on the field
    798)My favre doll has a recall for broken members
    799)My glass eye got a scratch on it.
    800)The ref doesn't like me
    801)I slept with chumuras wife
    802)My kids saw me naked
    803)I was arrested for impersonating a QB
    804)I was busted for gambling
    805)I didn't throw that int.
    806)The ball was tipped so it is not my fault
    807)The ground was to soft
    808)The air was to humid
    809)The wind was going east to west
    810)It was to cold to throw the ball
    811)The cold air makes my thumb slip when gripping the ball
    812)I have no feeling in my legs
    813)Urlacher kicked me in the butt.
    814)I nerves were shot
    815)Coffee makes me pee to much
    816)I have a bad case of the runs
    817)My mouth piece was dirty.
    818)Kevin Greene Keeps calling me at home
    819)I finally saw what LT did to Theisman
    820)I am afraid to get sacked.
    821)I placed a bet against the packers.
    822)The packer fans are to stupid to realize I suck
    823)I retarded kid made fun of me
    824)I got bucked of my horse last night
    825)My drove my wife into lesbian.
    826)George W Bush threaten to deport me if I win the game
    827)Momma ran over my dog lucky.
    828)I stopped taking my medication
    829)I was grounded for staying out to late.
    830)The coach made me mad
    831)I lost my stuffed bunny rabbit bootsie
    832)The ground was wet
    833)The grass was to short
    834)I have a grass stain on my shoulder pad
    835)The Lights were off during the day games
    836)someone changed my shoe laces to yellow instead of green
    837)I hate my job but the pay is great
    838)I want to play for the falcons
    839)Reggie White died and I cried more
    840)Bart Starr laughed at me
    841)I want to coach this team but Sherman is coach
    842)I put my gloves on the wrong hands again
    843)I have a bruise on my cheek from Olin Kreutz.
    844)I was shot in the back when I went hunting for rabbit
    845)I fell off a cliff and broke my neck
    846)I have A.D.D.
    847)My spine is to straight.
    848)There was a defensivemen in my face
    849)Rivera quit the team to play for the cowboys.
    850)I was thinking of my HOF speech.
    851)I was car jacked on the way to the game.
    852)The team bus ran over my foot
    853)KGB started talking English and I was shocked.
    854)Darren Sharper taunts me now that he is going to the pro bowl.
    855)I never made it past the 4th grade.
    856)I am getting old now
    857)Dr Finger tested me for colon cancer.
    858)I have colon cancer
    859)Mike shermans brother/sisters kid was arrested.
    860)Grandma cooked up a bad case of roadkill
    861)My lawnmover blade was dull.
    862)It snowed in Kiln Mississippi.
    863)My mother in law moved in
    864)My mother in law kicked my out of my own house
    865)My brother in law ran over my mother in law with the ATV
    866)My wife caught me spanking my monkey
    867)Grandma got ran over by a reindeer
    868)I didn't get anything for Christmas
    869)The IRS called me last night
    870)My bookie broke my arm for not paying
    871)The mob threatened to kill me if we win the game
    872) I make 2.5 million for throwing the hail Mary in OT vs the eagles
    873)I was choking on a turkey bone last night at dinner
    874)My agent quit
    875)The media stopped asking me if I was going to retire this year.
    876)The new coach is g@y
    877)I took a warm shower.
    878)Someone peed in the shower
    879)I failed a drug test
    880)I have a headache that only show up during game time
    881)I saw John Candy in the stands waving at me.
    882)I can't remember what play was called.
    883)The defense blitzed me on that down
    884)I pulled a hamstring walking over to the bench.
    885)N. Davenport shared a locker with me
    886)The hot tub has ecoli.
    887)I am afraid of my own shadow.
    888)Charlie Danial's died making a song for me
    889)I was under a hypnotic trance.
    890)I have road rage on the football field
    891)The ball slipped from my hand
    892)The ball temperature was to cold.
    893)My Nike pumps were over inflated
    894)I forgot my neck brace
    895)I never say the CB
    896)Nobody loves me anymore
    897)Are you my mother or father.
    898)I was thrown to the wolves
    899)TO wants me to play for the eagles.
    900)The defense lost the game not me.
    901)I wanted to play for the Bears.
    902)My botox injection went bad
    903)I love Parris Hilton
    904)My wife had a penis and I just found out.
    905)My kids hate me for playing foolsball.
    906)I was late for dinner so my wife threw out my dish.
    907)My wife doesn't want a boob job
    908)I was burned in the tanning salon
    909)My hair hurts
    910)I tore all the tendons in my throwing arm.
    911)Al Gore created the internet but banned me from it
    912)My Highschool teacher was arrested to sleeping with a student.
    913)My eyebrows were burned off when I used the microwave
    914)I have a nose bleed from the dry air
    915)Terrorist hijacked the school bus in Kiln Mississippi.
    916)Forest Gump is more popular than me in Mississippi.
    917)My Highschool sweatheart is really a man
    918)I have low blood pressure
    919)I have high blood pressure
    920)I lost to much blood
    921)I lost control of my bodily functions.
    922)I had a blister on my lips
    923)My eyes hurt from the sunlight
    924)I lost my luggage at the airport.
    925)I dislocated my thumb
    926)My mom stopped breast feeding me
    927)I was arrested last night with a hooker
    928)My bookie stole my winnings.
    929)I have cellphone cancer
    930)I have a growth on my back
    931)I have athletes foot on my throwing hand
    932)The center has a STD
    933)I lost my voice
    934) I was hit in the head with a tomato
    935)I sat on my car keys.
    936)Some one put preparation H on my toothbrush.
    937)The Media is starting rumors about my retirement
    938)I am retired but the people of greenbay don't know it
    939)I am not human but a clone
    940)Clint Eastwood made me cry once and I have never recovered since that moment
    941)I want to create a country album
    942)I lost my cousin in a coal mine accident
    943)My best friend admitted to having an affair with my mom
    944)The local police could not find my golf clubs
    945)I want to be president someday
    946)I never got my piece of gum at the dentist office.
    947)My pet gold fish ate my guppies
    948)My horse stepped on my foot breaking 3 toes
    949)I don't have a defense like the steelers
    950)The officials made the wrong call
    951)The officials caught my pass
    952)The offensive line gets called for too many false starts.
    953)The line of scrimmage was one yard short.
    954)My cell phone was roaming
    955)The dog ate my slippers
    956)My ankle hurts
    957)I was struck by lightning
    958)I discovered Oil in my back yard.
    959)The hurricane affected my throws
    960)Oprah really touched me with her show.
    961)I have beer poisoning
    962)My foot is rotting
    963)My hip was dislocated from being hit my a car
    964)I drank to much eggnog
    965)I was arrested for indecent exposure
    966)I missed my Britney spears concert.
    967)I missed practice yesterday
    968)I am depressed because I lost the game
    969)my dog bit my non throwing hand
    970)My fingernails were to long
    971)My fingernails were to short
    972)I choked on a fingernail
    973)I am a hillbilly who needs his moonshine
    974) I have a cold sore from kissing my sister
    975)I didn't get my chocolate pudding
    976)I was studying for the big exam last night.
    977)I am French so it is not my fault.
    978)I was exposed to gamma rays
    979)I had corrective eye surgery
    980)I suffer from shaken baby syndrome
    981)My doctor told me to not play anymore
    982)I have lead poisoning
    983)I was exposed to carbon monoxide
    984)I have a sun burn
    985)I have a charlie horse in my leg
    986)My liver has never healed from the alcohol
    987)I listen to devil music
    988)I have a paper cut on my pinky finger
    989)I hate playing for the packers
    990)I have chemotherapy sessions.
    991)I hurt my balls in a freak accident involving peanutbutter.
    992)I fell in the bathtub and hurt my tailbone
    993)My dad owes the mob 10K
    994)I have long nose hairs that cause me to sneeze.
    995)I lost 4 pints of blood to mosquito's
    996)I stepped on a yellow jacket
    997)I landed on the football and it knocked the wind out of me
    998)I smell sweaty feet
    999)The doctor called and told me my brain will be ready Monday
    1000)The bears are just to good of a team now for me to keep padding my stats.

    2006 excuse
    1001) Favre is a gunslinger
    1002) Javon walker quit the team
    1003) The defense lost the game
    1004) Longwell plays for the Vikings
    1005) Sherman put a curse on us
    1006) The packers are talking about trading me

  4. #4
    MplsViking's Avatar
    MplsViking is offline Starter
    Join Date
    Dec 1969

    Re: The Brett Favres 1000 excuses

    exactly how long did that take you? lol i couldnt even read all 1000 of those.

  5. #5
    4th and 26 is offline Training Camp
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    Sep 2006

    Re: The Brett Favres 1000 excuses

    About a week to make.

  6. #6
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
    BadlandsVikings is offline Jersey Retired
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    Apr 2006

    Re: The Brett Favres 1000 excuses

    "4th" wrote:
    About a week to make.
    You must have a lot of time on your hands.

  7. #7
    Webby's Avatar
    Webby is offline Administrator
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    Re: The Brett Favres 1000 excuses

    kinda funny if you ask me!

  8. #8
    4th and 26 is offline Training Camp
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    Re: The Brett Favres 1000 excuses

    "WVV" wrote:
    "4th" wrote:
    About a week to make.
    You must have a lot of time on your hands.
    I worked with cheeseheads for almost 4 years. They whine alot when favre chokes.

  9. #9
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
    BadlandsVikings is offline Jersey Retired
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    Apr 2006

    Re: The Brett Favres 1000 excuses

    "4th" wrote:
    "WVV" wrote:
    "4th" wrote:
    About a week to make.
    You must have a lot of time on your hands.
    I worked with cheeseheads for almost 4 years. They whine alot when favre chokes.
    then you deserve a medal.

  10. #10
    Potus2028 is offline Hall of Famer
    Join Date
    Dec 1969

    Re: The Brett Favres 1000 excuses

    ... that was amazing

    you said it took four years?

    i couldnt do something like that for four years.. that is crazy long!
    i m better than you, so just give up...

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