BBQ's Offseason Report from Green Bay!!!

**BBQ Platypus** · 02-18-2006, 05:37 PM

Greetings, pathetic Earthlings! I'm BBQ Platypus, reporting for purplepride.org from an undisclosed location a safe distance away from Green Bay, where there seems to be a great deal of uncertainty regarding the Green Bay Packers' future (or, more accurately, lack thereof). Which lousy and/or injury-prone running back will they keep? Which would be worse for the team: Favre staying or Aaron Rodgers becoming the starting quarterback? What about the supremely untalented defense and porous offensive line?

We're not hearing much from the Packers' front office about these issues, mainly because a massive suck vortex, very similar to a miniature black hole, generated by the Packers themselves, has materialized over Lambeau Field, becoming so dense that no sound can escape it. Light can get out either, making simple visual communication even more impossible than it usually is when dealing with inbred cheesedicks.

This has generated a great deal of controversy among Packer fans and Packer @$$-kissing media men. However, everyone agrees on one thing:

[size=22px]THE PACKERS SUCK!!![/size]

This is BBQ Platypus signing off. This television will explode in five seconds.

**Mr. Purple** · 02-18-2006, 05:41 PM

haha so random!

**singersp** · 02-18-2006, 05:53 PM

Most of BBQ's post has been brought to you by the 4.33% sane part of his brain.

**BBQ Platypus** · 02-19-2006, 01:21 AM

Of course, we can only speculate when it comes to black suck vortexes. The only scientific clue we have regarding the suck vortex is that we haven't seen any ESPN reporters attempt to interview or sodomize Favre in the last 2 days, which is very unusual indeed.