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  1. #1
    Prophet Guest

    You Know You're a Redneck When...

    Here’s the 2006 version of “You Know You're a Redneck When...”

    1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.


    2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter


    3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.


    4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.


    5. You think the "nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.


    6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.


    7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.


    8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.


    9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.


    10. You keep a can of raid on the kitchen table .


    11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.


    12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.


    13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.


    14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog


    15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.


    16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.


    17. You have a rag for a gas cap.


    18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.


    19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.


    20. You can spit without opening your mouth.


    21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.


    22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.


    23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "cool whip" on the side.


    24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.


    25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.


    26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.


    27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of improvements.


    28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.


    29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.


    30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

  2. #2
    ryanmurphy is offline Pro-Bowler
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    Re: You Know You're a Redneck When...

    "Prophet" wrote:

    4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
    I guy across the street from me did this with his Bermuda grass one spring. Me and a couple of neighbors stood in the driveway drinking beer, and laughing at him. A couple months later, he had the greenest lawn in the subdivision. I have thought about trying it, but I don't have the best luck.

  3. #3
    Mr-holland's Avatar
    Mr-holland is offline Team Alumni
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    Re: You Know You're a Redneck When...

    "ryanmurphy" wrote:
    "Prophet" wrote:

    4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
    I guy across the street from me did this with his Bermuda grass one spring. Me and a couple of neighbors stood in the driveway drinking beer, and laughing at him. A couple months later, he had the greenest lawn in the subdivision. I have thought about trying it, but I don't have the best luck.
    Don't get ya house on fire, Really redneckish
    Rosie O'Donnell is a dude!

  4. #4
    DCPologirl is offline Team Alumni
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    Re: You Know You're a Redneck When...

    "Mr-holland" wrote:
    "ryanmurphy" wrote:
    "Prophet" wrote:

    4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
    I guy across the street from me did this with his Bermuda grass one spring. Me and a couple of neighbors stood in the driveway drinking beer, and laughing at him. A couple months later, he had the greenest lawn in the subdivision. I have thought about trying it, but I don't have the best luck.
    Don't get ya house on fire, Really redneckish
    LMAO

    DCPologirl:Maybe Randy will make Aaron Brooks look better......roflmao Del Rio: I guarantee he will

  5. #5
    ryanmurphy is offline Pro-Bowler
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    Re: You Know You're a Redneck When...

    "Mr-holland" wrote:
    "ryanmurphy" wrote:
    "Prophet" wrote:

    4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
    I guy across the street from me did this with his Bermuda grass one spring. Me and a couple of neighbors stood in the driveway drinking beer, and laughing at him. A couple months later, he had the greenest lawn in the subdivision. I have thought about trying it, but I don't have the best luck.
    Don't get ya house on fire, Really redneckish
    Thats why I havent tried it... But I swear this guy had the greenest yard you have ever seen. I have had a lawn care service come in every month for the past five years to do whatever needs to be done, and his yard is still greener then mine.

  6. #6
    shockzilla's Avatar
    shockzilla is offline PPO Ambassador
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    Re: You Know You're a Redneck When...

    “You Know You're a Redneck When...”

    1. There are more cars in your yard than in your driveway.

    2. There is a transmission in your bathtub.

    3. You go to a family reunion looking for a date.
    PPO Ambassador, Defender of the Purple Faith and Guardian of the Gates of Valhalla

  7. #7
    NordicNed is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: You Know You're a Redneck When...

    You smile at someone and they comment.." Nice Tooth"


    I LOVE THE SMELL OF VICTORY IN THE MORNING AIR.

  8. #8
    WBLVikeBabe's Avatar
    WBLVikeBabe is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: You Know You're a Redneck When...

    You think Sherlock Holmes is a
    housing project down in Biloxi.

    You think a stock tip is
    advice on worming' your hogs.

    You've been married three times
    and still have the same in-laws.

    You think TACO BELL is
    the Mexican Phone Company

    Your state's got a new law that says when a couple
    get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister

    [move]My beautiful sig made by the one and only PPE![/move]

  9. #9
    cajunvike's Avatar
    cajunvike is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: You Know You're a Redneck When...

    "WBLVikeBabe" wrote:
    You think Sherlock Holmes is a
    housing project down in Biloxi.

    You think a stock tip is
    advice on worming' your hogs.

    You've been married three times
    and still have the same in-laws.

    You think TACO BELL is
    the Mexican Phone Company

    Your state's got a new law that says when a couple
    get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister
    I think that last one IS actually the law in Wisconsin! :evil4:
    BANNED OR DEAD...I'LL TAKE EITHER ONE

  10. #10
    gregair13's Avatar
    gregair13 is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: You Know You're a Redneck When...

    Your nick name is Cajun...
    We're bringing purple back.

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