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  1. #1
    shockzilla's Avatar
    shockzilla is offline PPO Ambassador
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    Who says Minnesotans can't make fun of themselves?

    Someone sent these to me recently - I believe they are observations about Minnesota from Jeff Foxworthy... I have to admit - most of them hit right on the mark!!!

    TNT? Webby? Am I right? Anyone else care to comment?

    YOU MIGHT LIVE IN MINNESOTA...

    If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Minnesota.

    If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Minnesota.

    If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy", you might live in Minnesota.

    If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Minnesota.

    If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Minnesota.

    If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work here, you might live in Minnesota.

    If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
    forehead, you might live in Minnesota.

    If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Lutefisk, you might live in Minnesota.

    If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Minnesota.

    If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Minnesota.

    If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Minnesota.

    If you know how to say Wayzata, Mahtomedi, Edina and Shakopee, you might live in Minnesota.

    If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in Minnesota.

    If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear, and you sing gently, "From the land of sky-blue waters, .... you might live in Minnesota...


    YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE MINNESOTAN WHEN:
    (especially #6 and # 15)

    1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the
    highway.
    2. "Vacation" means going up north past Brainerd for the weekend.
    3. You measure distance in hours, not miles.
    4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
    5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
    6. Your whole family wears Viking purple to church on Sunday.
    7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard,
    without flinching.
    8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
    9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
    unlocked.
    10. You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.
    11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
    12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's FleetFarm at
    any given time.
    13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
    14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
    15. You refer to the Vikings as "we."
    16. You know all 4 seasons: "almost winter, winter, still winter and road
    construction".
    17. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
    18. You consider Minneapolis exotic.
    19. You don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Pig's Eye Pilsner.
    20. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your
    blue spruce.
    21. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
    22. "Down South" to you means Iowa.
    23. A brat is something you eat.
    24. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new machine shed.
    25. You go out to fish fry every Friday.
    26. You know how to polka.
    27. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
    28. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
    29. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
    30. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your
    Minnesota friends.
    PPO Ambassador, Defender of the Purple Faith and Guardian of the Gates of Valhalla

  2. #2
    triedandtruevikesfan is offline Jersey Retired
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    Who says Minnesotans can't make fun of themselves?

    LOL... thats great... I found myself nodding to a bunch of them... I most definately am a Minnesota Girl!!!! (for the record, I've never worn a jersey to church, but I do refer to the Vikings as "we"!)

  3. #3
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    Who says Minnesotans can't make fun of themselves?

    Shock, Thanks some of these were really great, and even way over here, I know I am a Minnesotian
    Yesterday is History
    Tomorrow a Mystery
    TODAY is a GIFT that is why WE
    call it the "PRESENT"

  4. #4
    shockzilla's Avatar
    shockzilla is offline PPO Ambassador
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    Minnesotans

    You're welcome, Casper - anything to brighten someone's day who is a purple fan from way over there! Oops, sorry, did I hit a sore spot? :-) We really appreciate anyone who is a Purple Fan.
    PPO Ambassador, Defender of the Purple Faith and Guardian of the Gates of Valhalla

  5. #5
    triedandtruevikesfan is offline Jersey Retired
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    Who says Minnesotans can't make fun of themselves?

    Casper you're originally from MN aren't you?

  6. #6
    hawaiianvike21 is offline Team Alumni
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    Who says Minnesotans can't make fun of themselves?

    Too spendy in minny??? Nah, the last time i visited minny there was no sales tax what so ever. Paradise baby! :cheers: At least the tourists dont have to pay extra for things they buy.

    Hahahahha, purple to church? DOnt do that but i do wear my aloha viking shirt to church though. Close enough. :lol:
    Hupo oe ke kau ana i ka waiupa a ma kou pa o & Hupo na Po o waiupa a


  7. #7
    LosAngelis's Avatar
    LosAngelis is offline Team Alumni
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    Who says Minnesotans can't make fun of themselves?

    So many of those apply to Wisconsin, too. That would be hysterical if I were displaced in some southern state. WOuld remind me too much of hom.
    Have you ever seen a race of turtles, and they all go the wrong way instead of towards the finish line?

    Welcome to the NFC North.

  8. #8
    Bdubya is offline Star Spokesman
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    Who says Minnesotans can't make fun of themselves?

    Those all work over here in the Upper Peninsula but the Packers and Green Bay are substituted for the Vikings and Minneapolis. People here are embarrassing as all hell. If someone gets on TV, its an illiterate pile of crap who has a horrible Finnish accent, and is wearing a snowsuit and sitting on his snowmobile. It gives us a bad rep. Anyone remember that Nimrods commercial on ESPN? Its not like that everywhere over here!
    MC's run away when I kick it
    They act so chicken, they should come with a large drink and a biscuit
    -Canibus

  9. #9
    LosAngelis's Avatar
    LosAngelis is offline Team Alumni
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    Who says Minnesotans can't make fun of themselves?

    "Bdubya" wrote:
    Those all work over here in the Upper Peninsula but the Packers and Green Bay are substituted for the Vikings and Minneapolis. People here are embarrassing as all hell. If someone gets on TV, its an illiterate pile of crap who has a horrible Finnish accent, and is wearing a snowsuit and sitting on his snowmobile. It gives us a bad rep. Anyone remember that Nimrods commercial on ESPN? Its not like that everywhere over here!
    So, I take it that wasn't you singing the Nimrod School Song in the commercial?
    Have you ever seen a race of turtles, and they all go the wrong way instead of towards the finish line?

    Welcome to the NFC North.

  10. #10
    Bdubya is offline Star Spokesman
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    Who says Minnesotans can't make fun of themselves?

    Dont get me started on him.
    MC's run away when I kick it
    They act so chicken, they should come with a large drink and a biscuit
    -Canibus

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