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  1. #21
    LuckyVike's Avatar
    LuckyVike is offline Team Alumni
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    Re: what the **** do i do?

    Where's Cajun? He'd probably be able to help you with this more than anyone else...
    The best part of my day is when I get down on my knees, with my head in my hands, and thank GOD for everything he has given me.

  2. #22
    jimmymac's Avatar
    jimmymac is offline Pro-Bowler
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    Re: what the **** do i do?

    Hey Zim,

    Here are a few suggestions.

    1. If you belong to a church then talk to your Pastor.

    2. You can always call the school your son goes to and talk to someone like a Principle or Counselor. Just tell them you’re the father and your checking up on him for more information.

    3. You don't need a lawyer to do legal thinks. Call your local family court and they should help you.

    I've never been to Minnesota myself but I hear it's pretty liberal there so there must be public help available.

    Good luck.
    -- Sarcasm always turned on --

  3. #23
    Guruzen's Avatar
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    Re: what the **** do i do?

    Zim... if all else fails, there's always alcohol. Works great for me!

  4. #24
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    Re: what the **** do i do?

    Zim I don't know you but there are affordable ways to get the matter resolved in court. Call your county social services office and set up an appointment to talk with someone. If you are court ordered to pay child support you are by law entitled to medical,school,and residency. In minnesota the mother has the power but if she is proven unfit she will lose custody of the children or child and you will be granted custody and she pays support. I have two daughters that I have custody of and it wasn't easy but I did it. The key is to get ahold of court or social services and get a meeting lined up. Good luck to you and stay positive.Also in the state of MN when a child reaches 13 I believe they can decide which parent they want to live with...

  5. #25
    FedjeViking is offline Ring of Fame
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    Re: what the **** do i do?

    "zimtwister" wrote:
    trust me i know i screwed up by letting her in the door but iwas 3 months out of the divorce and did the rebound thing [no good] i asked her "what does he do thats wrong?" she said thats private info and does not have to tell me--wrong! the support papers says i must have full access to medical and school records. but how do you get that with out a lawyer? i do know a lawyer that might help me, so i will see. why the heck cant people just be nice to each other? it seems some people always must be "right"
    Zim, I've been there, done that!
    First - Take the papers with you to the Dr's office and the school. They will make a copy of them for their records and give you full access to all your son's records. You don't need a lawyer for that - it's already been done through the court in the support papers.
    Second - When you speak to the Dr. express your concern for your son's emotional health. Calmly explain to him/her some of the things you have witnessed.
    Third - Get children services involved. Calmly explain to them about your son's emotional outbursts, and anything else that concerns you about his care.
    You don't need a lawyer for any of this. If children services find your concerns are right they will help you gain primary custody.
    Remember, you need to keep your cool! Your son needs you to be the adult and not fall apart, he can do that on his own. Don't fall apart, fight for his well being.
    Good luck.
    [move]"Our day WILL come!! I just hope I LIVE long enough to see it!"[/move]

  6. #26
    cc21 is offline Ring of Fame
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    Re: what the **** do i do?

    "PurplePeopleEaters" wrote:
    Hang in there brother. Sounds like a bad situation you're in. She has custody of the son? She sounds like a wacko (no offense if you take it).

    You could always hire cajun for a "cheap price".

    Or hire 6 to take care of "other business".
    :lol:
    6 will make sure she is sleeping witht he fishes! :lol:

    Good luck with this zim. Hang in there and I hope that everything works our good for ya man.

  7. #27
    cajunvike's Avatar
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    Re: what the **** do i do?

    "FedjeViking" wrote:
    "zimtwister" wrote:
    trust me i know i screwed up by letting her in the door but iwas 3 months out of the divorce and did the rebound thing [no good] i asked her "what does he do thats wrong?" she said thats private info and does not have to tell me--wrong! the support papers says i must have full access to medical and school records. but how do you get that with out a lawyer? i do know a lawyer that might help me, so i will see. why the heck cant people just be nice to each other? it seems some people always must be "right"
    Zim, I've been there, done that!
    First - Take the papers with you to the Dr's office and the school. They will make a copy of them for their records and give you full access to all your son's records. You don't need a lawyer for that - it's already been done through the court in the support papers.
    Second - When you speak to the Dr. express your concern for your son's emotional health. Calmly explain to him/her some of the things you have witnessed.
    Third - Get children services involved. Calmly explain to them about your son's emotional outbursts, and anything else that concerns you about his care.
    You don't need a lawyer for any of this. If children services find your concerns are right they will help you gain primary custody.
    Remember, you need to keep your cool! Your son needs you to be the adult and not fall apart, he can do that on his own. Don't fall apart, fight for his well being.
    Good luck.
    Great advice all around! I wish that I could add to that...but the fact of the matter is that my law degree didn't come with a magic wand (despite what the general public would like to think). I can tell you that unless you surrendered your parental rights (and you would know this), you should be able to get all the information that you need from child services...follow Fedje's advice and you should be just fine. Don't let your wife and her lawyer boss intimidate you...you don't need a lawyer to enforce your rights...just asking child services to help you should do the trick. If you can't afford help, there are always lawyers willing to take this case on a pro bono (read: free) basis...but the trick is that you need to make sure that this lawyer is very familiar with family law...which is the main reason that I will not give you any legal advice (I don't know anything about family law, nor do I want to...I do large-scale corporate litigation...and I would be as useful as tits on a bull). Even the child services people know way more than I do...and they know what you need and will help you...even as far as helping you to get a competent lawyer to help you. The most important thing is to control your emotions...channel them into being persistent...and only let them come out when you need to convince someone of your sincerity and genuine concern for your son's welfare.

    Good Luck, zim...and may God be with you!
    BANNED OR DEAD...I'LL TAKE EITHER ONE

  8. #28
    audioghost is offline Star Spokesman
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    Re: what the **** do i do?

    Whatever you do don't let the crazy b!tch put your kid on meds...that stuff messes you up more than it helps you...people are so stupid sometimes....kids don't have psychological problems, they're f***in kids, they're all weird....I hate it when parents try to be "psychologists"...I don't know what you can do man, but if it makes you feel any better, I feel your pain....thats a bunch of b/s! Hang in there buddy....

    A.G s HOTTEST NEW RAP CD: AUDIO GHOST & MAIN EVENT drop THE SEED: I made tha beats www.myspace.com/audioghost2006

  9. #29
    cajunvike's Avatar
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    Re: what the **** do i do?

    "audioghost" wrote:
    Whatever you do don't let the crazy b!tch put your kid on meds...that stuff messes you up more than it helps you...people are so stupid sometimes....kids don't have psychological problems, they're f***in kids, they're all weird....I hate it when parents try to be "psychologists"...I don't know what you can do man, but if it makes you feel any better, I feel your pain....thats a bunch of b/s! Hang in there buddy....
    Thanks, Tom Cruise!

    The meds are SOMETIMES necessary...but only after careful diagnosis and careful observation...not as a knee-jerk reaction!

    My sister is a trained psychologist...and she sees parents who WON'T put their kids on medication...even though that is the right course to take...they feel stigmatized by it, but don't realize that it is the right thing to do in their particular case. Each case is different...and each case should be dealt with in the best way...no one solution is correct for everyone!
    BANNED OR DEAD...I'LL TAKE EITHER ONE

  10. #30
    2beersTommy's Avatar
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    Re: what the **** do i do?

    Zim, one thing u need to do (if u havent already), it start taking notes on anything that pertains to the people involved in this. If and when this goes to social services, family court or wherever, you have some kind of documentation of whats happened in this past. just write down dates, times, people involved, and when that time comes to use them, u can re-read them & refresh your memory of that. more than that, its more than just that "he said, she said" thing. I did that when i went thru the court system & it came in quite handy, whatever i wrote down, i copied it for my attorney to view. I know it sounds like a hassle, but it might be worth it. good luck to you !

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