Thread: Wal-Mart

OK I just got done having a talk with some people at work. The concensus seems to be they hate Wal-Mart. I worked there for 4 years while going to college. I have my own opinions on them.

SO have any of you worked for them?

And do you like/dislike them?

I'm sure some of you have stopped shopping there all together.

I won't go as far as say I love the place but I do shop there once or twice a week on my lunch hour. I find they have good deals especially on the necessaties there are a couple of the walmart locations that I steer clear of but just because the clientele is a little scary. I must say some of the most interesting people shop at walmart it is a fun place to people watch.

I don't shop there...mainly because the closest Walmart is too far to go...but my little hometown in Louisiana has had one for years...and EVERYBODY shops there...whenever I go home to visit, I always run into someone that I knew back in school or just from around. L'il Red is right though...the people that shop there are pretty funny sometimes...and some of the women who shop there are pretty hot!

Speaking of Wal-Mart, I got this from a friend the other day:

Wal-Mart announced that they will soon be offering customers a new discount item: Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2-5 range.

"Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts", says Sandra Micken, professor of marketing, she continued, "But the right name is important."

Customer surveys were conducted to determine the Most attractive name for the Wal-Mart brand. The top surveyed names in order of popularity are:

10. Chateau Traileur Parc

9. White Trashfindel

8. Big Red Gulp

7. World Championship Riesling

6. NASCARbernet

5. Chef Boyardeaux

4. Peanut Noir

3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!

2. Grape Expectations

And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine:

1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be Served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).

ROTFLMMFAO!!!!! I can't catch my breath...AHH...AHH...AHH!!!

I am definitely passing this on to all of the wine snobs that I know!

Here is some more walmart jokes. I am sure most of you have seen this before.

Things to do for fun when shopping at Walmart.

1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they don't realize it.

2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day.

3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the restrooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.

5. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10."

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.

7. Put M&M's on layaway.

8. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

9. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

10. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

11. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full-scale battlefield with G. I. Joe's vs. the X-Men.

13. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

14. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

15. Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restroom.

16. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."

17. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store

18. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

19. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "pick me! Pick me!"

20. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

21. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink, explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

22. Go into the dressing room and yell real loud..."Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!"

So L'il Red, how many of these have you actually done...I am picturing you in the auto department right now...LOL!!!

I hate wal mart. I prefer Target, although it is more expensive, wal mart is just a jumbled mess all the time!

apply to be a the greeter person at Walmart. now assuming you don't really have anything wrong with you nor are you over 80 years old, they will tell you that you are not qualified and would be best suited for another job at Walmart. Demand to have the greeter position and once you get the job, have a gimmick everyday:

Monday: greet everyone with a stutter day
Tuesday: instead of saying "welcome to Walmart" you say "Have you seen my hotdog?!" and look confused day
Weds: simply called '70's Leisure suit day'-- and point a lot
Thursday: drunken rascal riding day-- complete with a bright yellow helmet
Friday: Mayonaise on shirt day--wear your walmart garb with pride with a shitload of mayonaise gobbed on it.

I hate to shop at "Zoo Mart".

They never have enough cashiers to handle the customers.

They restock at bad times.

The isles are too narrow.

And the old lady who has 53 items in the Express Checkout 10 items or less!