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  1. #1
    cogitans is offline Jersey Retired
    Join Date
    Jan 2006

    The Viking Brain

    I found this picture that I tried to translate to english for your enjoyment. As I'm not a grafic designer, it might not be great made, anyways here you go:

    Thanks to PPE for the sig.

  2. #2
    cogitans is offline Jersey Retired
    Join Date
    Jan 2006

    Re: The Viking Brain

    I found it on a great website about vikings, made in a humorous spirit:

    Total Viking Power!!!

    Unfortunately it is only in danish. But in spirit of the offseason and to enjoy you all I have taken the time to translate the front page of the site for you, so you can enjoy how great and funny this is.

    There is a lot more fun stuff there, but it actually took me quite some time just to translate this. Please enjoy:

    Vikings are totally cool. The purpose of their life is to go on rampage. Vikings are the best at going on rampage. At all. Their world map is written in blood, and their hobby is going to war. If a Viking gets pissed at you – well, your almost already dead. And you can’t do anything about it. Vikings always win. Eternal victory is the definition of their fighting spirit, and that’s why you talk about ULTIMATE VIKING POWER!!!
    The most popular place in Viking is Scandinavia, which consists of countries like Denmark, Sweden, Norway and Iceland. Today there are almost no Vikings left, and in that way they are a bit like samurais and pirates. It’s people who lived in the past.
    So, now the Vikings has almost disappeared, but their principles lives on. You can still go on rampage, and when you do it, it is ULTIMATE VIKING POWER!!! Everyone can go on rampage, but if it is to become real Viking-rampage, you have to believe in Viking-religion, while you run around screaming. The most popular gods in Viking are Odin, Thor, Loke and Mjølner. They can trash everybody.
    The Viking ages reaches its high point around years 800-1100. In that period the Vikings are at the peak of their career. They go rampage all the time, and it’s a normal part of everyday life to kill someone each day. The most common way of killing is typically by sword, but many Vikings prefer going rampage with an axe or a large stick. The killing-weapon is not that important… the most important thing is, that you go rampage with ULTIMATE VIKING POWER!!! That means, that you don’t lie in wait for someone, or have a cunning plan. No, you must just rush directly at the enemy, while you scream that you’re going rampage. Then you are the son of Odin, and that way you are a real Viking.
    Violence is clearly an important thing in Viking, but there are also other things, which mean a lot. For example magic. In contrast of druids and witches Vikings can’t do really magic stuff, but anyway they think that magic is great. In Viking magic the most important things are ravens and oak trees.
    A Viking can get nervous, if he sees a raven. That is due to the fact that Odin has two ravens, who flies around in the world and watches everything. Therefore even the toughest Viking must relax a bit, when a raven comes by. Then the Viking can maybe stand and look at the ocean or some amber, until the raven has flown away. Afterwards he can go rampage again. Vikings also relax a bit when they see some oak trees, but not because they are nervous. The explanation is rather, that the oak trees have a symbolic meaning, and therefore it is a good opportunity to think about life, before you go rampage again.
    When the Viking ages approaches its peak, it is decided, that it is best, if you only trash people, which are not Vikings. That way the Vikings avoid exterminating themselves, and at the same time they make sure, that there are too many of other kinds of people. For example the Vikings goes all the way to Paris to go on rampage. They line up in front of the gate to the city, where they show their swords and axes, while they scream that they are going rampage.

    Vikings: “Aaargh, we are going rampage!”
    Mayor of Paris: “No, please. If you go home, you can have all our gold.”
    Vikings: “Ehm… okay!”
    Mayor: “Here you go, here’s all our gold.”
    Vikings: “Aaargh, we are going rampage!”
    Mayor: “But you promised to go home.”
    Vikings: “Aaargh!!”

    And then the Vikings trash Paris! They promised not to do it, but then they just do it anyway. That is simply the essence of ULTIMATE VIKING POWER!!! It’s that kind of behaviour, which makes the Vikings the coolest people in the history of the world. It’s their style. No one else are as good at going rampage, and that’s why the Vikings succeeded in trashing England, Russia, France, Italy, Ireland, Greenland and The Netherlands. Furthermore they discover the USA many years before Colombo. They sail around the ENTIRE world and go rampage, and if you don’t think that is awesome, you haven’t grasped the secret behind ULTIMATE VIKING POWER!!!

    Thanks to PPE for the sig.

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