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Thread: Troll Meter

  1. #1
    Del Rio Guest

    Troll Meter

    Since this thing is being updated I decided not to do it in the blogs. There are people there with real football stuff to say. I think I even read a poem there today :grin: SO it is here now, in the club house. A place where football talk goes to die....and humor ensues.


    By popular demand the levels of trolling as I see them are now going to be available for our off-season viewing pleasure. This is the first installment of a series.


    Troll-o-Meter

    The Handy Andy-1 out of 10
    Obviously the low end of the spectrum of trolling. This particular Troll may appear to be mentally handicapped so serious flames should not be applied. A simple test will rule out any mental illness or lack of certain areas of the brain. Perhaps ask him if he has seen a football or even watched a game before. There are no set teams for this type of particular troll. All teams have Handy-Andy’s. Identifying a troll of this level is often easy.

    Examples of level 1 Trolling

    “Lions are #1 you are the suck!�

    “You guys are in big trouble, I found a waffle that looks like Brett Favre……luck is on our side this year.�

    “You guys suck so ba……..wait my headgear fell off……�

    “My dad says…….�

    “We have so and so and they are soooooooo good.�

    “We took you down in 1961 we beat you so bad�

    There are other examples but the easiest way to tell is if you read their post and you feel no brain activity on your part. In other words you find yourself staring at the screen with a plain face. Read it again and again and if you come to the conclusion that you could possibly contact Cajun….sue the poster for wasting 2 seconds of your time, it is obvious what you are dealing with.

    I like to keep a very mundane looking piece of brick on my desk devoid of any entertainment any gradation, color variation, pattern….Often I will hold it up to the screen and if I feel myself looking more at the brick it is certain.


    Dealing with a Handy Andy.

    Small words-

    Maybe a smiley ---don’t over stimulate him limit it to one---he may spaz out and start throwing (edited).

    Tell him his mom has a peanut butter sammich upstairs for him.

    Best advice make a post so you can get your post count up and get the **** out of dodge. If you listen to these guys too long you will actually catch yourself naming your brick on your desk and trying to feed him pencil shavings.


  2. #2
    Del Rio Guest

    Re: Troll Meter

    Troll-o-Meter

    Mr. Evo-2 out of 10
    ranking a troll under five and above the rank of one is quite difficult. It is more of a question of how reading their post made you feel. Did it make you angry? Did it make you fall asleep? A ranking of two is given when the poster obviously has attempted to evolve from a level one, but whether it be genetics, or some sort of disorder caused by radioactive peanut butter the poster just hasn’t shaken of some of that amoebae that is known as handy Andy.

    Often you see a thought is there maybe even a point to be made, but between the excitement of actually having his very own thought and the fear of Mom catching him on the evil porn machine Mr. Evolution just can’t quite deliver the idea.

    Caution should be used when attempting to communicate whether the avenue be that of flames or intelligent conversation the outcome will not be good. Also the poster may be a child or farm animal.

    Examples of level 2 Trolling

    “Hahahaha Mike Williams…Lions .…hahahahah you guys R gunna lose�

    “Raiders!!! RANDY MOSS…….!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA�

    “I like peanut butter….PACKERS4EVAR#1†…….�

    Sometimes you get a Mr. E that even knows names but doesn’t know it isn’t a great idea to use them……..

    “Davenport is going to drag his ass on your team!!!!!!!�

    “Can’t wait till Benson starts throwing the deep ball on your secondary!!�

    Sad but I know I have seen it. I remember having an argument with a guy that I called a tool. He laughed and said I didn’t even know how to spell fool.

    Basically unlike Handy Andy you will find yourself doing a first degree eyebrow lift on your left eye. As your mind struggles to remain focused enough to react. Your brain will attempt to make some sort of sense out of the garbage you just read. But trust me there is no sense to be found.

    As mentioned before, I keep a piece of brick on my desk. And if you do the same now would be a good time to grab it firmly in your right hand and hit yourself repeatedly in the head for even considering to respond to this level of troll, but ………..I personally have no reservation when it comes to making fun of children or farm animals. So……..


    Dealing with a Mr. Evo.

    Round one should be simple and intelligent. Try to get a feel for who you are talking to. Is it really a higher level troll posing as a handicapped llama? Respond to the post in a simple yet intelligent manner.

    Round two that didn’t work he appears to be so excited and worked up now he has posted a paragraph of text that looks like he may have forgotten his anti seizure medication. If there are personal attacks they will occur here. No problem……†¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦.

    Round three, at this point most of our better posters here will walk away leave the thread to die. But me….I linger a bit longer. You will need a strongly scented marker for round four.

    Round four. Open the lid of your marker inhale……againâ₠¬Â¦..again……againà ¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦.one more……and done……..the world should now be viewed in a different perspective. Let your fingers work on the keyboard your new state of mind will post for you, on a level that is equal and understandable to the troll.

    This troll may not get immediately banned, probably more for humor or pity but he will remain. He will pop up now and again and lend a hand in some of your other threads……but that is a small price to pay for getting an excuse to sniff that sharpie.


  3. #3
    Ltrey33 is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Troll Meter

    Gotta love the Troll Meter! Awesome!

  4. #4
    VKG4LFE's Avatar
    VKG4LFE is offline Jersey Retired Tetris Champion, Monkey GO Happy 4 Champion
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    Re: Troll Meter

    How about you just do a better job of "troll enforcing" so we don't have to decipher what level troll they are!! lol

    I get the most pissed off looks from people with my VKG 4 LFE Wisconsin license plate, and I LOVE IT!!

  5. #5
    Del Rio Guest

    Re: Troll Meter

    LOL!

    No way. I only enforce from 6:00am to 6:05am the rest of the time I'm trolling.

    This is just for fun. Besides when I post people's feelings get hurt, posts get locked, and God kills baby kittens. :grin:

  6. #6
    VKG4LFE's Avatar
    VKG4LFE is offline Jersey Retired Tetris Champion, Monkey GO Happy 4 Champion
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    Re: Troll Meter

    Oh, ok. ?????

    I get the most pissed off looks from people with my VKG 4 LFE Wisconsin license plate, and I LOVE IT!!

  7. #7
    ultravikingfan's Avatar
    ultravikingfan is offline Administrator
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    Re: Troll Meter

    What does the "Troll Meter" look like?

    Is it a physical object?

    or

    Is it a human program that runs in Del Rio's head?

  8. #8
    purplehorn is offline Hall of Famer
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    Re: Troll Meter

    "ultravikingfan" wrote:
    What does the "Troll Meter" look like?

    ?
    [size=7px] [/size]

    Green Bay police station toilet stolen.

    Cops say they have nothing to go on.

  9. #9
    Kleinsasser40 is offline Coordinator
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    Re: Troll Meter

    Very nice Del. You capture their thoughts verry well. :-D
    [img:2264cdc124]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v482/ultravikingfan/vikesklein.jpg[/img:2264cdc124]

  10. #10
    Del Rio Guest

    Re: Troll Meter

    I am working on a visual meter, but I am also working on some other stuff for the site that I want to finish first. Stuff I was working on at the time of the logo.

    So for now it is all out of my sick twisted head.

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