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  1. #11
    cogitans is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Tragedy struck our neighborhood

    I'm very sad to read this story. I can understand how it would affect you a great deal.

    As you don't know how you'll face the family, I don't know what to tell you either.

    However I think a good approach could be to walk straight up to them, instead of hiding because you don't know what to say (too many people do that in these situation). There should be nothing wrong with saying it how it is, like this: 'I have thought a lot about it, and I can't find out what to say to you. I feel very sorry for you and your loss, and if you want to share anything or need to talk don't hesitate to come to me'.

    That's what I would possibly do.

    Thanks to PPE for the sig.

  2. #12
    SKOL's Avatar
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    Re: Tragedy struck our neighborhood

    I read this last night and was at a loss for words... I still am.
    A heartfelt card is always appropriate.
    There are a lot of expenses at this time, so even money, with an explanation on the card that you're not sure how else to express your sorrow, is appropriate.


    Too many people simply offer assistance in times of need, but it's those that are proactive and actually do something, that are true friends.
    Instead of asking if there's something you can do for them just do it.
    Run to the grocery store, or bring a dish.


    Romans 12:15 - 'weep with people who weep'.
    Sometimes you don't have to say the right thing... just show empathy.

    The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good -Samuel Johnson - lexicographer
    The word genius isn t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein - Joe Theisman

  3. #13
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    Re: Tragedy struck our neighborhood

    That's terrible, I'm sorry to hear that

  4. #14
    Thordis is offline Waterboy
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    Re: Tragedy struck our neighborhood

    Thank you all for your support and encouragement. Cogitans, you're pretty perceptive, I would tend to err on the side of "not intruding". And you're right, too many people do that. I want to extend my support, and I can't do that if I let my awkward emotions and shyness get in the way.

    You are all very right, and I'm going to take your advice. It's really helpful to read your suggestions. It helps kind of jump-start my stunned mind, like a guide that will help me find my own words. I'm going to take the approach that you all have suggested, be honest that I don't know what to say, but that I am here to support them however I can...that they are not alone.

    The family hasn't been home yet, and it's probably a good thing right now. It's going to be hard for them to come home, I think. I keep thinking about that poor little girl and how she's going to come through this.

    The hardest thing right now is seeing the kids' toys strewn all over the yard. I hope it doesn't rain, but if it does, I'm thinking we should bring in the stuff that could get damaged. Someone has left flowers and a card on the step. That stuff will need to be tended, too, until they get home. It's not much, but at least it's something mildly useful.

    SKOL, thank you for the lovely quote, and the reminder that words don't have to be perfect. Sending food so they don't have to cook dinner is a really good idea.

    I am so grateful to each of you for your support and your compassion. I'm having a hard time even thinking right now, and the neighbors that I've talked to on the phone are feeling the same way. None of the neighborhood kids have been out playing today, and it's unsettlingly quiet. We're all just trying to get our minds around it.

    I'm so glad I had the courage to reach out to you guys. I'm sorry it took me so darn long to respond today. I tried to write a post earlier, but I kept breaking down and crying. And then there have been alot of phone calls between neighbors and all that this afternoon.

  5. #15
    singersp's Avatar
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    Re: Tragedy struck our neighborhood

    It's always a tragedy when a child is robbed of his life before he gets a chance to live it to its fullest. My prayers go out to his family & the friends & neighbors who knew him.

    How did he happen to get accidentally shot in the 1st place?

    "If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you"

  6. #16
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    Re: Tragedy struck our neighborhood

    "singersp" wrote:
    It's always a tragedy when a child is robbed of his life before he gets a chance to live it to its fullest. My prayers go out to his family & the friends & neighbors who knew him.

    How did he happen to get accidentally shot in the 1st place?
    http://www.startribune.com/local/south/26318674.html?location_refer=Most%20Emailed:Scienc e%20+%20Technology

  7. #17
    Potus2028 is offline Hall of Famer
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    Re: Tragedy struck our neighborhood

    "C" wrote:
    Sometimes words just don't suffice. I'd give them a big hug next time you see them, regardless of how well you know them.
    I couldn't agree more.

    Also- maybe an informal note telling them what you just told us.

    I paused and thought about all the nameless kids that I see running around my neighborhood. I can't imagine what it would be like if one day there was just one kid less than usual.

    Maybe just a note saying how that little boy brightened your day indirectly, and giving your condolences could be helpful and appropriate....
    i m better than you, so just give up...

  8. #18
    Mr-holland's Avatar
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    Re: Tragedy struck our neighborhood

    A terrible terrible terrible thing to happen... I feel so sorry for the parents, losing their child.
    Rosie O'Donnell is a dude!

  9. #19
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    Re: Tragedy struck our neighborhood

    If you are looking for an appropriate way of approaching the family to offer condolences, you might consider bringing over some food or even a meal.
    Often times a grief stricken family is dealing with the loss, with extra family members at the house in support, etc.....
    Having a prepared meal or snacks are just one less thing they have to deal with.
    Most would be very grateful for the gesture and it would offer you a moment to express your condolences.

    I'd much rather see the Packers miss the playoffs because of their talent then because of their injuries.

  10. #20
    FedjeViking is offline Ring of Fame
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    Re: Tragedy struck our neighborhood


    All you can do is reach out and give them moral support as others have suggested.

    You also could help establish a fund to help with expenses of the funeral and counseling for the sister, as this will affect her for life if she doesn't receive help.

    It never ceases to amaze me how parents now-a-days do not supervise their children and leave potentially fatal things within their reach. Very sad.
    [move]"Our day WILL come!! I just hope I LIVE long enough to see it!"[/move]

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