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  1. #1
    COJOMAY is offline Jersey Retired
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    Top Morons of 2007 (So Far)

    [size=14pt]Top 8 Morons of 2007 (So Far)[/size]

    1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

    2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

    3. WHAT WAS PLAN B? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, during which the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

    4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kiwi Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

    5. DID I SAY THAT? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

    6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING? A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart." "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"

    7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (Hellooooooo)!

    8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition: The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. They still had the trailer attached to the bottom of the boat.
    Kentucky Vikes Fan

    When you require nothing, you get nothing; when you expect nothing, you will find nothing; when you embrace nothing, all you will have is nothing.

  2. #2
    Prophet's Avatar
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    Re: Top Morons of 2007 (So Far)

    I thought it was going to be a link to the members list on pp.o.
    Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Mark Twain

  3. #3
    C Mac D's Avatar
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    Re: Top Morons of 2007 (So Far)

    "Prophet" wrote:
    I thought it was going to be a link to the members list on pp.o.
    Yeah, I definitely expected to see my name somewhere on there.
    Disclaimer: I'm an idiot.

  4. #4
    marstc09's Avatar
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    Re: Top Morons of 2007 (So Far)

    "C" wrote:
    "Prophet" wrote:
    I thought it was going to be a link to the members list on pp.o.
    Yeah, I definitely expected to see my name somewhere on there.
    At least you recognize it.

  5. #5
    josdin00's Avatar
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    Re: Top Morons of 2007 (So Far)

    Where'd you pull this from?

  6. #6
    COJOMAY is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Top Morons of 2007 (So Far)

    "josdin00" wrote:
    Where'd you pull this from?
    Got it sent to me in an e-mail from a friend. Don't know where he got it.
    Kentucky Vikes Fan

    When you require nothing, you get nothing; when you expect nothing, you will find nothing; when you embrace nothing, all you will have is nothing.

  7. #7
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    Re: Top Morons of 2007 (So Far)

    "COJOMAY" wrote:
    [size=14pt]Top 8 Morons of 2007 (So Far)[/size]

    1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

    2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

    3. WHAT WAS PLAN B? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, during which the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

    4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kiwi Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

    5. DID I SAY THAT? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

    6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING? A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart." "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"

    7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (Hellooooooo)!

    8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition: The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. They still had the trailer attached to the bottom of the boat.
    I thought they were going to say the boat was out of gas, and it reminded me of a story. A couple of summers ago I got a call from my dad and he just kept laughing on the phone. I asked him what was so funny and he said that my mom had been mowing the lawn that afternoon while he was at work, and all of the sudden the mower had just shut down. She called the repair guys to come out and pick up the mower, take it to their shop, and give it a "tune-up". Well, when dad got back from work mom wanted him to go out to the shop with her to pick up the mower so he could hear what was wrong with it too since she didn't know anything about this stuff. They got to the shop, the repair man looked at them both, started to laugh, and said "Well, we filled it up with gas for you, it should run alright from here". We've given her crap about it ever since.
    "I play for the love of the game; I play because there is no greater feeling than hearing 80,000 fans screaming when you smack somebody!"
    ~ Jared Allen

  8. #8
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    Re: Top Morons of 2007 (So Far)

    I don't recognoze any of those stories, so I must have turned them down for some other stupid crap to post

  9. #9
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    Re: Top Morons of 2007 (So Far)

    "BadlandsViking" wrote:
    I don't recognoze any of those stories, so I must have turned them down for some other stupid crap to post
    which number up there are you BLV?
    woo out
    just two corn cobs shy of a bushel

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