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  1. #1
    Prophet's Avatar
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    Oct 2006

    “Tony Dungy” Proves Robots Can Be Successful Coaches

    “Tony Dungy” Proves Robots Can Be Successful Coaches

    [img width=167 height=160][/img]The Indianapolis Colts’ victory over the Patriots in Sunday’s AFC Championship Game was not just a typical playoff victory. It also ushered in a new piece of NFL history as Indianapolis head coach “Tony Dungy” became the first robot to ever coach a team to a Super Bowl.

    “This is a huge moment in the NFL and a huge moment of validation for the field of biorobotics,” said Peyton Manning. “I’m very happy for Tony. I just wish he had the human ability to feel and exhibit actual emotion so he could enjoy it, too.”

    Bioroid Model No. 2164b – or “Tony Dungy” as the highly advanced robot is better known – deflected the weight of the accomplishment and instead just focused on the upcoming game itself.

    “Reaching the Super Bowl is important,” said Dungy. “But winning the Super Bowl is the goal. In fact, that is what I was programmed to achieve and meeting those objectives is my sole purpose here.”

    Colts’ general manager Bill Polian says Dungy’s success is proof he made the right decision in having the robot shipped to Indianapolis from Tampa in 2002.

    “People said that when Tony was dismantled by the Buccaneers after the 2001 season that robots could never win a championship in the NFL – that their inability to be expressive did not fit well in what is a very emotional sport,” said Polian. “And while that is true – Tony most definitely is a vacant, emotionless droid, it’s ability to sometimes elicit a human-like smile notwithstanding – its processor and operating system allows it to carry out tasks human coaches can’t. Plus, it never sleeps. It is always on and working, except for its monthly cleaning and software upgrades. Purchasing and rebuilding Tony and bringing it to Indianapolis is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.”

    Dr. Rasmi Usrah, the head of biorobotics at MIT who built Dungy, says he is confident the success of Model No. 2164b will soon cause every NFL team to have a robot head coach.

    “A robot coach does not get rattled. Ever,” said Usrah. “It is impeccably organized. It does not need to analyze film after the game, because it has already recorded, digested and catalogued everything it saw while on the field. Its playbook included millions and millions of plays. It has all of the odds memorized for when and where to go for it on fourth down. It can instantly mimic any football move for the instructional benefit of its players, from the three-point stance to how to create separation from a defensive back. The list could go on and on and on. There is really no comparison between a human and robot coach. Yes, they can’t show any emotion, but they can also call up any famous inspirational speech from history and say it word for word. Really, the only downfall is that if you dump Gatorade on them they can short out.”
    Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Mark Twain

  2. #2
    Mr. Purple's Avatar
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    Dec 1969

    Re: “Tony Dungy” Proves Robots Can Be Successful Coaches

    Lmao that last paragraph kills me.I like Mr Robot Dungy tho and I hope he destroys daaaaaaaaaaaaa bears.

    Theres NOTHING greater then a Florida Gator!
    "I promise everyone this. When Childress is let go in two years I can honestly say this.
    "I am not surprised"."-PurplePackerEater

  3. #3
    VikesfaninWis's Avatar
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    Dec 1969

    Re: “Tony Dungy” Proves Robots Can Be Successful Coaches

    LMAO.... I guess I would rather have a robot for a coach then instead of a human..

  4. #4
    mr.woo's Avatar
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    Dec 1969

    Re: “Tony Dungy” Proves Robots Can Be Successful Coaches

    then all the bears need to do is send him a virus.
    woo out
    just two corn cobs shy of a bushel

  5. #5
    BloodyHorns82's Avatar
    BloodyHorns82 is offline Jersey Retired Feed The Frog Champion
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    Jun 2006

    Re: “Tony Dungy” Proves Robots Can Be Successful Coaches

    I never realized Dungy was a robot.
    This is crazy!... But it all makes sense now.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Buffalo, MN

    Re: “Tony Dungy” Proves Robots Can Be Successful Coaches

    Tony Dungy a robot?
    Who knew!?

    Funny stuff!
    Proud member of PP.O since April 5th, 2003!

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