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  1. #1
    Moss Deep is offline Rookie
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    Things you might not know about David Hasselhoff

    David Hasselhoff is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a
    game of tennis.

    There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures David
    Hasselhoff allows to live.

    When David Hasselhoff was born, the nurse said, "Holy Cow! That's
    David Hasselhoff!" Then she had sex with him. At that point, she was
    the third girl he had slept with.

    When David Hasselhoff goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

    In an average room there are 1,242 objects David Hasselhoff
    could use to kill you, including the room itself.

    The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan
    borrowed two bucks from David Hasselhoff and forgot to pay him back.

    David Hasselhoff can count backwards from infinity.

    In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World
    Records it notes that all world records are held by David Hasselhoff,
    and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever
    come to matching him.

    David Hasselhoff has two speeds: walk and kill.

    David Hasselhoff can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass, at night.

    You are what you eat. That is why David Hasselhoff diet consists
    entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

    David Hasselhoff played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

    If you were to lock David Hasselhoff in a room with a guitar, a
    Year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the
    Grammy's.

    When asked why he doesn't do this David replied "Because Grammy's are
    for qu**rs." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his
    response.

    When David Hasselhoff does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up,
    he's pushing the Earth down.

    David Hasselhoff invented black. In fact, he invented the entire
    spectrum of visible light. Except pink, Tom Cruise invented pink.

    David Hasselhoff coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.

    David Hasselhoff haunts Freddy Krueger's nightmares.

    The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force
    Meets an immovable object" was finally solved when David Hasselhoff punched himself in the face.
    Yo quiero pancakes. Donnes-moi pancakes. Click-click-bloody-click pancakes!

  2. #2
    cajunvike's Avatar
    cajunvike is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Things you might not know about David Hasselhoff

    ROTF!!!!

    MOSSDEEP is THE MAN!!!

    One question though...where are the accompanying pics???
    BANNED OR DEAD...I'LL TAKE EITHER ONE

  3. #3
    ryanmurphy is offline Pro-Bowler
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    Re: Things you might not know about David Hasselhoff

    Chuck Norris would kick Hasselhoffs ass!!!
    http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

  4. #4
    Moss Deep is offline Rookie
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    Re: Things you might not know about David Hasselhoff

    "cajunvike" wrote:

    One question though...where are the accompanying pics???
    Yo quiero pancakes. Donnes-moi pancakes. Click-click-bloody-click pancakes!

  5. #5
    tarkenton10's Avatar
    tarkenton10 is offline Star Spokesman
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    Re: Things you might not know about David Hasselhoff

    Moss deep you are too scary unless you are a girl, you like hasselhoff a little too much!

    There s only two things stopping you - fear and common sense!! The Truth you CAN"T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!

  6. #6
    Moss Deep is offline Rookie
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    Re: Things you might not know about David Hasselhoff

    "ryanmurphy" wrote:
    Chuck Norris would kick Hasselhoffs jiggly butt!!!
    Chuck Norris would be reducing to a quivering wreck upon one glance at the mighty Hoff.

    If by some chance he was able aim a blow at Hasselhoff it would be deflected by the aura of coolness that surrounds him.
    Yo quiero pancakes. Donnes-moi pancakes. Click-click-bloody-click pancakes!

  7. #7
    ryanmurphy is offline Pro-Bowler
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    Re: Things you might not know about David Hasselhoff

    Just 30 of the top 100 facts about Chuck. (See above post for all 100)

    Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

    Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

    Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

    Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

    Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

    If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

    The Dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. ONCE.

    The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

    Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

    When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

    Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

    Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

    Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

    If at first you don't succeed, you're obviously not Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

    Chuck Norris' penis is so large that it actually warps the fabric of space-time. Indeed some physicists now theorise that the passage of time is mearly a byproduct of Norris' colossal erections. This is known as the "Chuck Norris' big c**k theory of space-time".

    As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

    A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

    If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f**k down.

    Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

    Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

    To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

    Chuck Norris invented the spoon because using knives to kill people was just too easy.

    Every time Chuck Norris smiles it saves the life of a dying man. Ironically, Chuck Norris only smiles after he kills someone.

    When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

    According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

    Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

    Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

    Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

  8. #8
    ultravikingfan's Avatar
    ultravikingfan is offline Administrator
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    Re: Things you might not know about David Hasselhoff

    "ryanmurphy" wrote:
    Chuck Norris would kick Hasselhoffs jiggly butt!!!
    http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty
    Del Rio just posted this stuff last week.

    Its funny as hell!

  9. #9
    ryanmurphy is offline Pro-Bowler
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    Re: Things you might not know about David Hasselhoff

    "ultravikingfan" wrote:
    "ryanmurphy" wrote:
    Chuck Norris would kick Hasselhoffs jiggly butt!!!
    http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty
    Del Rio just posted this stuff last week.

    Its funny as hell!
    My bad...

  10. #10
    Mikecarter81's Avatar
    Mikecarter81 is offline Coordinator
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    Re: Things you might not know about David Hasselhoff

    I love those lists, they are so funny!

    Mike
    I am an avid Viking fan, but also am an avid restoration guy of vintage Mopar(Chrysler, Dodge, Plymouth)B bodies

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