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  1. #11
    UKVikingMike's Avatar
    UKVikingMike is offline Training Camp
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    Re: Start off your day with....Midget Break Dancing

    "Prophet" wrote:
    "Del Rio" wrote:
    The dude in the levi shorts got his jiggly butt kicked.

    Where do I buy me one of those? Breakdancing midgets that is.
    Click here for all your midget shopping needs.
    This rules, i have a friends stag do in Amsterdam coming up - do you think they have an international service. Have grand ideas of a entourage of seven dwarves and a Hermaphrodite snow white.

  2. #12
    cajunvike's Avatar
    cajunvike is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Start off your day with....Midget Break Dancing

    "UKVikingMike" wrote:
    "Prophet" wrote:
    "Del Rio" wrote:
    The dude in the levi shorts got his jiggly butt kicked.

    Where do I buy me one of those? Breakdancing midgets that is.
    Click here for all your midget shopping needs.
    This rules, i have a friends stag do in Amsterdam coming up - do you think they have an international service. Have grand ideas of a entourage of seven dwarves and a Hermaphrodite snow white.
    That's just SICK!!!! Funny...but SICK!!! :lol:
    BANNED OR DEAD...I'LL TAKE EITHER ONE

  3. #13
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
    BBQ Platypus is offline Team Alumni
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    Re: Start off your day with....Midget Break Dancing

    Man! The bare-shirted guy got pWn3d!!! That other guy was one bad-@$$ midget! Kick-@$$!!! Midget's got moves! :bootyshake:


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  4. #14
    Prophet Guest

    Re: Start off your day with....Midget Break Dancing

    "cajunvike" wrote:
    "UKVikingMike" wrote:
    "Prophet" wrote:
    "Del Rio" wrote:
    The dude in the levi shorts got his jiggly butt kicked.

    Where do I buy me one of those? Breakdancing midgets that is.
    Click here for all your midget shopping needs.
    This rules, i have a friends stag do in Amsterdam coming up - do you think they have an international service. Have grand ideas of a entourage of seven dwarves and a Hermaphrodite snow white.
    That's just SICK!!!! Funny...but SICK!!! :lol:
    No doubt. Great pary idea.

  5. #15
    jaymz7's Avatar
    jaymz7 is offline Asst. Coach
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    Re: Start off your day with....Midget Break Dancing

    "UKVikingMike" wrote:
    "Prophet" wrote:
    "Del Rio" wrote:
    The dude in the levi shorts got his jiggly butt kicked.

    Where do I buy me one of those? Breakdancing midgets that is.
    Click here for all your midget shopping needs.
    This rules, i have a friends stag do in Amsterdam coming up - do you think they have an international service. Have grand ideas of a entourage of seven dwarves and a Hermaphrodite snow white.
    Oh this is so wrong. :lol: But it is f%$#n hilarious.

  6. #16
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
    BBQ Platypus is offline Team Alumni
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    Re: Start off your day with....Midget Break Dancing

    "WisconsinSucks" wrote:
    So at $100/hr per midget. Do you think we could field an entire team of midgets and still stay under the cap?
    In the great words of Mr. Owl...let's find out! :banana:

    Let's assume that they're on the clock for as long as the game is still going on, as well as when they're in the locker room and when they're training/practicing.

    Training camp starts in June and lasts about 3 weeks, so if we assume that our squad of midgets practiced an average of four hours a day, that's a total of 84 hours amassed during training camp. The roster will likely start with about 80-90 (call it 85) midget football players and will likely end at about 72 midget players. That's an average of about 78 midgets on the team during training camp. Thus, training camp will amount for about 6552 midget-hours.

    The average NFL game lasts 3 hours, 7 minutes, which we'll round off to 3 hours. Therefore, if we assume that our diminuitive gridiron warriors practice an average of 2.5 hours a day from Monday-Friday (let's face it, MNF would change their schedule to make sure that they didn't have any games that included the Minnesota Mighty Midgets), and 1.5 hours on Saturday, each midget works 17 hours/week during a non-bye week. If each midget practices 2 hours every day during the bye week, they will work 14 hours during a bye week.

    In the preseason, the roster must be whittled down from 72 to 65 after the third game. The number of players is further decreased to 53 after the season is finished. Thus, during the first three weeks, the 72 players on the midget squad accumulate a total of 3672 midget-hours. The 65 players who survive the next roster cut would put in a total of 1105 midget-hours during the final week of the preseason. Thus, the preseason would amount to 4777 midget-hours.

    Finally, the regular season (I'm not going to include the possibility of playoffs, because, let's face it, a football team composed entirely of midgets would get crushed in every game they played). A 53-midget roster would accumulate 901 midget-hours per week and 742 midget-hours during the bye week. The regular season consists of 16 games and one bye week. 16 games x 901 midget-hours/game = 14,416 midget-hours + 742 bye-week midget-hours = 15,158 midget-hours during the regular season.

    6552 + 4777 + 15158 = 26,487 midget-hours.

    26,487 midget-hours x $100/hr = $264,870, which is WAY below the NFL salary minimum of $75 million. Not to mention the fact that NFL players aren't paid by the hour, thus causing the midgets' salary to fall well below the individual minmum.

    Therefore, the Minnesota Vikings organization COULD afford to field a team consisting entirely of midgets who play for $100/hr. However, this team would suck it hard. I'm talking about big time, enormous, Green Bay Packers-type suckitude here. The kind of sucking you usually only see in a porno. And even if the Vikings (who would most likely change their name to the Minnesota Mighty Midgets) were allowed to pay their midget players by the hour, $100/hr. would be too low for both the individual salary minimum and the team salary minimum.

    Wow. That was completely unneccessary. Wait. Scratch that. That was twelve thousand exits past Pointlessville.

    So...um...I guess that's 70 minutes of my life that I'll never get back. :lol:


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  7. #17
    cajunvike's Avatar
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    Re: Start off your day with....Midget Break Dancing

    Plus three minutes of MY time reading it...I WILL be sending you a bill for that!!! :lol:
    BANNED OR DEAD...I'LL TAKE EITHER ONE

  8. #18
    Slade is offline Star Spokesman
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    Re: Start off your day with....Midget Break Dancing

    This is great.....what a great way to make Friday better! Midgets are frickin' hilarious!

  9. #19
    Prophet Guest

    Re: Start off your day with....Midget Break Dancing

    "BBQ Platypus" wrote:
    "WisconsinSucks" wrote:
    So at $100/hr per midget. Do you think we could field an entire team of midgets and still stay under the cap?
    In the great words of Mr. Owl...let's find out! :banana:

    Let's assume that they're on the clock for as long as the game is still going on, as well as when they're in the locker room and when they're training/practicing.

    Training camp starts in June and lasts about 3 weeks, so if we assume that our squad of midgets practiced an average of four hours a day, that's a total of 84 hours amassed during training camp. The roster will likely start with about 80-90 (call it 85) midget football players and will likely end at about 72 midget players. That's an average of about 78 midgets on the team during training camp. Thus, training camp will amount for about 6552 midget-hours.

    The average NFL game lasts 3 hours, 7 minutes, which we'll round off to 3 hours. Therefore, if we assume that our diminuitive gridiron warriors practice an average of 2.5 hours a day from Monday-Friday (let's face it, MNF would change their schedule to make sure that they didn't have any games that included the Minnesota Mighty Midgets), and 1.5 hours on Saturday, each midget works 17 hours/week during a non-bye week. If each midget practices 2 hours every day during the bye week, they will work 14 hours during a bye week.

    In the preseason, the roster must be whittled down from 72 to 65 after the third game. The number of players is further decreased to 53 after the season is finished. Thus, during the first three weeks, the 72 players on the midget squad accumulate a total of 3672 midget-hours. The 65 players who survive the next roster cut would put in a total of 1105 midget-hours during the final week of the preseason. Thus, the preseason would amount to 4777 midget-hours.

    Finally, the regular season (I'm not going to include the possibility of playoffs, because, let's face it, a football team composed entirely of midgets would get crushed in every game they played). A 53-midget roster would accumulate 901 midget-hours per week and 742 midget-hours during the bye week. The regular season consists of 16 games and one bye week. 16 games x 901 midget-hours/game = 14,416 midget-hours + 742 bye-week midget-hours = 15,158 midget-hours during the regular season.

    6552 + 4777 + 15158 = 26,487 midget-hours.

    26,487 midget-hours x $100/hr = $264,870, which is WAY below the NFL salary minimum of $75 million. Not to mention the fact that NFL players aren't paid by the hour, thus causing the midgets' salary to fall well below the individual minmum.

    Therefore, the Minnesota Vikings organization COULD afford to field a team consisting entirely of midgets who play for $100/hr. However, this team would suck it hard. I'm talking about big time, enormous, Green Bay Packers-type suckitude here. The kind of sucking you usually only see in a porno. And even if the Vikings (who would most likely change their name to the Minnesota Mighty Midgets) were allowed to pay their midget players by the hour, $100/hr. would be too low for both the individual salary minimum and the team salary minimum.

    Wow. That was completely unneccessary. Wait. Scratch that. That was twelve thousand exits past Unneccessaryville.

    So...um...I guess that's 70 minutes of my life that I'll never get back. :lol:
    LMAO, nice breakdown. Let's get those midgets on the payroll now. You could build a smaller field scaled down to their size. Take away all the protection rules the NFL has imposed. Call it the MFL. Give the damn midgets a raise too, we are way under the cap. Can we still buy jerseys or do they only come in small sizes? I suppose you could use them as a dish cloth or something.

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