Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: Said In Court

  1. #1
    Del Rio Guest

    Said In Court

    Said In Court

    These are actually things which people actually said in court, word for word.


    Q: What is your date of birth?
    A: December 30th.
    Q: What year?
    A: Every year.

    Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
    A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

    Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    A: I forget.
    Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

    Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.
    A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
    Q: How long has he lived with you?
    A: Forty-five years.

    Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
    A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
    Q: And why did that upset you?
    A: My name is Susan.

    Q: And where was the location of the accident?
    A: Approximately milepost 499.
    Q: And where is milepost 499?
    A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

    Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
    A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

    Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
    A: After the accident?
    Q: Before the accident.
    A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.

    Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
    A: We both do.
    Q: Voodoo?
    A: We do.
    Q: You do?
    A: Yes, voodoo.

    Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
    A: Yes.
    Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
    A: Yes, sir.
    Q: What did she say?
    A: What disco am I at?

    Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

    Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

    Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

    Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And what were you doing at that time?

    Q: She had three children, right?
    A: Yes.
    Q: How many were boys?
    A: None.
    Q: Were there any girls?

    Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

    Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
    A: By death.
    Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

    Q: Can you describe the individual?
    A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
    Q: Was this a male, or a female?

    Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
    A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

    Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

    Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
    A: Oral.

    Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
    Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
    A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

    Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

    Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for breathing?
    A: No.
    Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
    A: No.
    Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
    A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere

  2. #2
    whackthepack is offline Jersey Retired
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Posts
    6,535

    Said In Court

    Thanks Del Rio I needed a good laugh this morning!

    You da man!
    What we've got here is failure to communicate.

  3. #3
    cajunvike's Avatar
    cajunvike is offline Jersey Retired
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    32,063

    Said In Court

    And regardless of what you guys think, I am NOT that patient referenced in the last vignette!

    BTW, congrats on the HOF, whack!!!
    BANNED OR DEAD...I'LL TAKE EITHER ONE

  4. #4
    whackthepack is offline Jersey Retired
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Posts
    6,535

    Said In Court

    Thanks Cajun, I didn't even notice!
    What we've got here is failure to communicate.

  5. #5
    cajunvike's Avatar
    cajunvike is offline Jersey Retired
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Posts
    32,063

    Said In Court

    "whackthepack" wrote:
    Thanks Cajun, I didn't even notice!
    I am already formulating potential new titles for you as you inch closer to the magic 1500+ post total! :salute:
    BANNED OR DEAD...I'LL TAKE EITHER ONE

  6. #6
    Kleinsasser40 is offline Coordinator
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Posts
    705

    Said In Court

    Hehehe, thats great! I've been gone for a while, home on winter break, but I'm back now. Good to see we still have good stuff like that on here, aside form all the Packer banter. :-D Keep 'em coming Del!
    [img:2264cdc124]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v482/ultravikingfan/vikesklein.jpg[/img:2264cdc124]

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Posts
    1,114

    Said In Court

    DR you are da man :notworthy: i needed a shot of humor :lol: thanks :rr: :lol:
    Yesterday is History
    Tomorrow a Mystery
    TODAY is a GIFT that is why WE
    call it the "PRESENT"

  8. #8
    vegasvike's Avatar
    vegasvike is offline Hall of Famer
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Posts
    1,277

    Said In Court

    wow with that kind of intelligence makes you wonder why a license isn't needed to breed huh?
    Thanks for the sig Pack93z


    I love when you take breaks from plucking your unibrow and grunting/slapping to makes posts in this forum

Similar Threads

  1. Court: Mom can't sue over circumcision
    By BadlandsVikings in forum The Clubhouse
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 02-06-2008, 05:48 PM
  2. The wedding's off -- see you in court!
    By BadlandsVikings in forum The Clubhouse
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 10-21-2007, 09:07 PM
  3. Mr. Woo Wins in Court
    By BadlandsVikings in forum The Clubhouse
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 07-30-2007, 10:03 PM
  4. Pacman adds another day in court
    By singersp in forum General NFL Discussion
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 07-13-2007, 12:33 AM
  5. Supreme Court?
    By VIKE58 in forum Vikings Fan Forum
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 04-22-2004, 04:35 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •