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  1. #1
    i_bleed_purple's Avatar
    i_bleed_purple is offline Jersey Retired
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    Dec 2005
    Blog Entries

    Response to Gay Marriage Opposition.

    Don't mean to start a debate for nor against Gay Marriage, but I found this, and found it hilarious. Hope you enjoy.

    In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant
    Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus
    18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following
    response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a US man, and
    posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

    Dear Dr. Laura:

    Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
    have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that
    knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend
    the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that
    Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of
    debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other
    elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

    1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and
    female, provided they are from neighboring nations. A friend of mine
    claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
    clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

    2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
    Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
    price for her?

    3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in
    her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is
    how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

    4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
    pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors.
    They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

    5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus
    35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated
    to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

    6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
    abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
    homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees'
    of abomination?

    7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I
    have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
    glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room

    8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
    around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.
    19:27. How should they die?

    9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes
    me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

    10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two
    different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
    garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester
    blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
    necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town
    together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to
    death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep
    with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

    I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy
    considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.
    Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and

    Your adoring fan.

    James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus,
    Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education
    University of Virginia

  2. #2
    Marrdro's Avatar
    Marrdro is offline Beware My Spreadsheet, Bitches!
    Join Date
    Dec 1969

    Re: Response to Gay Marriage Opposition.

    Atleast I stir the pot on football related stuff. This one will get ugly quick I fear.
    Many many thanks to my talented friend Jos for the new Sig.

  3. #3
    marstc09's Avatar
    marstc09 is offline Jersey Retired
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Phoenix, Arizona

    Re: Response to Gay Marriage Opposition.

    Marriage is brutal no matter what sexual preference. End of story.

  4. #4
    gregair13's Avatar
    gregair13 is offline Jersey Retired
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Edmonton, AB

    Re: Response to Gay Marriage Opposition.

    You cant own Canadians because we have hockey sticks which are a powerful weapon.
    We're bringing purple back.

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