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  1. #1
    ItalianStallion's Avatar
    ItalianStallion is offline Jersey Retired
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    Dec 1969

    Rate my rap song

    Hey all, I was just hoping for some feedback on this rap song I wrote for this talent competition in my faculty (kind of a joke, not too serious). Forget the specifics with names and stuff cuz they are kind of inside jokes. I know Williamsonoftroy has some rapping background, but any fan's opinion would be much appreciated. There are some allusion's to other rappers, so don't think that I'm tring to bite their stuff.

    So basically I am in the "Health Sciences" faculty at my university and the program focuses on Inquiry-based learning (ie. hands on science and experiment developing), but I'm a little worried that despite that it is a "high acheivers" faculty, that the career prospects are dismal. Anyway here it is.

    Where were you? (When Inquiry died)

    Back before I took my first class at University,
    ‘bout the same time when I had yet to pay my first fee,
    I admit I didn’t really know what I wanted,
    When I heard about this program that was most vaunted.

    Now maybe my success in high school had gone to my head,
    Or maybe I started believin’ the brochures I had read.
    I still maintain the whole process seemed deceptive,
    Nevertheless, to my 2nd choice I was accepted.

    My first week of school, I was full of excitement and vigour,
    But halfway through the semester I was ready to pull the trigger.
    Now maybe it was bad luck or even just fate,
    But I switched to a major I thought I wouldn’t hate.

    But I pulled through, cuz I stayed true,
    Now I’m seein’ life in a whole new point of view,
    Though the subject’s taboo, don’t misconstrue,
    Cuz’ biddin adieu would be the wrong thing ta’ do.

    Please understand, you’ve got to see it from the other side,
    Before you deride the program in which you reside.
    Cuz where were you when Inquiry died?
    Is it too early to mourn? Is it too late to ride?

    I got the BHSc blues, while ponderin’ some truths,
    An’ cyclin’ through a whole range of moods.
    Feelin’ like I paid my dues, but I gets no clues to the feuds.
    Like Gigli, this program gets bad reviews,
    So please excuse, my disrespectful views,
    Cuz students’ boos have just lit my fuse.
    An’ though I got beef with this program on certain issues,
    I’m always constructive with the battles I choose.

    I never sleep, but not cuz’ it’s the cousin of death,
    But cuz’ of this stress on my chest ta’ not get an F.
    Nevertheless, I’ma try to assess this mess,
    Cuz’ like a tooth growin’ in crooked we’ve started t’abscess.

    I often hear students threatenin’ ta leave,
    So I just sit back, breath, and take a reprieve.
    Cuz’ what a tangles web we weave,
    When we fail to perceive the good we receive,
    I’m not naïve, but I still believe,
    That there is greatness this program has yet to achieve.
    Cuz’ how’s this program supposed to be run,
    When half of us been tryin’ to get out since day one?

    I’m vexed, by a select few from years 1 and 2,
    Who haven’t been through half of what we’ve had to.
    Cuz’ we all know your righteous intent’s a façade,
    though you try to keep it unknown, like Kent’s real job.

    So when you’re chillin’ with an irate friend tryin’ to incur a stir,
    Like a doc with no opinion, you just nod and concur.
    But what you prefer won’t just occur,
    S’why I’m a harder marker on y’alls than even Paul Kerr.

    But alas, don’t harass,
    Cuz’ droppin’ f-bombs just leads to an impasse.
    You can contrast, but don’t be crass,
    Cuz’ like Inquiry 6, you’ve got no class.

    Like a judge with a gavel, over this court I preside,
    But my emotions inside collide like Jekyll and Hyde.
    Cuz’ where were you when Inquiry died?
    Is it too early to mourn? Is it too late to ride?

    Sure this ain’t no oasis, but there are much worse places,
    The labs are spacious, teachers loquacious,
    Student’s flirtatious, but somethin’s amiss.
    I may be an idealist or even a theorist,
    But I’m here to return the emphasis,
    Back on hypothesis.
    See, your actions are pernicious, in the long run,
    Any benefit’s fictitious, like Chris Dubois’ son.

    This rhyme is planned on the spot, like our courses,
    This topic’s researched, so don’t question my sources.
    It’s better to light a candle, than to curse the dark,
    These verbal stones that we’re slingin’ are off the mark.

    Each major has its own issues, each student snafus,
    If left unchecked, it boils and stews,
    To the point you’ve had enough, and just blow up,
    Lose your composure like you just missed a putt.

    If you chose the path of the bioinformatician,
    Dishin’ out search results will be your career mission,
    Everyday you’ll be blastin’, like a cherry,
    Now ask yourself if that don’t sound scary.
    Workin’ with C+ just ta get a C+,
    S’why you saw the first year mass exodus.
    An’ Health and Society’s dysfunctional, like Jerry Springer,
    S’why you can count the student body using only your fingers.

    But I persevere, though I ‘m in my third year,
    N’ with the summer scratch I’ll make, I’m like a volunteer.
    I’m a self made renegade ain’t afraid to lead a tirade,
    An’ I’m dismayed, cuz I’m bein’ played more than a free arcade.
    So how’ my gonna cop the escalade with suede,
    When I gotta win a grant, just to get paid?
    Though you say it’s there, need for my skillz is imagine’ry,
    Cuz what use is need that’s not reflect’ in salary?

    So keep your ears open, cuz my meaning’s implied
    And despite my pride I gotta take it in stride.
    Cuz’ where were you when Inquiry died?
    Is it too early to mourn? Is it too late to ride?

    So forgive my indiscretion, cuz the situation’s pressin’,
    An’ the issue needs addressin’ and despite my success n’ progression,
    I’m left with the impression that I’ll be in possession
    Of a degree that can’t get me no stable profession.
    I question the evolution of our program, like Charles Darwin,
    But my rhymes design is intelligent, cuz I got God within’.
    An if they keep this up, they’ll be seein’
    I give wild type a whole new meanin’.

    Chances are, I can’t get a job with this degree at all,
    Forget rap, I’ll have to wrap sandwiches to earn capital.
    N’ the difference ‘tween a pizza and a Ph.D in molecular biology,
    Is a pizza can feed a 4 person family.

    Which leads to the biggest problem facing me,
    It’s not the lack of spirit of Inquiry,
    To get the chicks at the clubs all I do is flash my MED I.D.,
    But get shut down if I mention my BHSc.

    I m like a Ja Rule poster, cause I'm off the wall.

  2. #2
    olson_10's Avatar
    olson_10 is offline Ring of Fame
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    Dec 1969

    Re: Rate my rap song

    lol nice..good for a talent show, but a definite no if ur auditioning for def jam lol..pretty creative tho dude, i like it
    People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.

  3. #3
    PurpleManiac's Avatar
    PurpleManiac is offline Pro-Bowler
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    Dec 1969

    Re: Rate my rap song

    I write my oen stuff too. That ain't bad, nope not bad at all. In fact it's pretty darn well written and the message is sweet too.

    Thanks for the Sig LitlHarsh

  4. #4
    V4L's Avatar
    V4L is offline Jersey Retired
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    Dec 1969

    Re: Rate my rap song

    I don't have alot of time so I didn't read it all..

    But from the first few paragraphs I like the route you took with it.. It's not your typical rap song.. So that's what caught my eye.. Well written too

  5. #5
    ItalianStallion's Avatar
    ItalianStallion is offline Jersey Retired
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    Dec 1969

    Re: Rate my rap song

    Thanks for the comments, can anyone give any other ones, I have to perform this on Friday.

    I m like a Ja Rule poster, cause I'm off the wall.

  6. #6
    cajunvike's Avatar
    cajunvike is offline Jersey Retired
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    Sep 2004

    Re: Rate my rap song

    Great use of internal rhymin'...I hope that they can't fire you or kick you out for blastin' the program that you are in though! :lol:

    I would love to hear it with the beats in the background...maybe you could post a link for us later on...and tell us how it went down at the talent show!

  7. #7
    Bdubya is offline Star Spokesman
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    Dec 1969

    Re: Rate my rap song

    I thought it was pretty sweet myself Stallion. Blow away the competition.
    MC's run away when I kick it
    They act so chicken, they should come with a large drink and a biscuit

  8. #8
    purpleFavreEaters's Avatar
    purpleFavreEaters is offline Coordinator
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    Dec 1969

    Re: Rate my rap song

    Well rap is crap so Iidnt even bother reading it, but i AM SURE YOU DID A GOOD JOB.

  9. #9
    PurplePackerEater is offline Ring of Fame
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    Jan 2005

    Re: Rate my rap song

    I read your song and I noticed you used a lot of big words, good for you. It was kinda long, so I didn't read it all, -but who cares, 'cause I gave you an A anyways!

  10. #10
    ItalianStallion's Avatar
    ItalianStallion is offline Jersey Retired
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    Dec 1969

    Re: Rate my rap song

    Hey, can anyone help me write a funny "bio" about myself (that isn't supposed to be accurate in any way), but is outlandishly funny.

    So far I have it that I studied goodlookingology before switching to major I am currently in, and that I am responsible for inventing the Nike swoosh and making the Kool Aid man go "oooh yah". Any funny stuff I could say about my early childhood, or anything at all for that matter would be appreciated.

    I m like a Ja Rule poster, cause I'm off the wall.

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