Police Comments

**singersp** · 08-04-2007, 10:20 AM

[size=12pt]Police Comments[/size]

These 16 police comments were taken off actual police car
videos around the country:

#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the

one you just went through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.

They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your

birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because

that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that

means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I

don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the

shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? OK, I'm warning you not to

do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether

you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place

where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn

dogs, and step in monkey poop."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets

a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but

now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief [of Police] Hawker is a

personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post

your bail."

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're

right, we don't. Sign here."