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Thread: Police Comments

  1. #1
    singersp's Avatar
    singersp is offline PPO Newshound
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    Police Comments

    [size=12pt]Police Comments[/size]

    These 16 police comments were taken off actual police car
    videos around the country:






    #16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the


    one you just went through."





    #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.


    They'll stretch after you wear them a while."





    #14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your


    birth certificate a worthless document."





    #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."





    #12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because


    that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."





    #11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that


    means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"





    #10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I


    don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the


    shift supervisor?"





    #9 "Warning! You want a warning? OK, I'm warning you not to


    do that again or I'll give you another ticket."





    #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether


    you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"





    #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place


    where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn


    dogs, and step in monkey poop."





    #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets


    a toaster oven."





    #5 "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."





    #4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"





    #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but


    now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."





    #2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief [of Police] Hawker is a


    personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post


    your bail."





    #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're


    right, we don't. Sign here."

    "If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you"

  2. #2
    NordicNed is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Police Comments


    This one made me laught.......

    #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're


    right, we don't. Sign here."

    ;D


    I LOVE THE SMELL OF VICTORY IN THE MORNING AIR.

  3. #3
    COJOMAY is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Police Comments

    LOL
    Sent that on to an ex-cop who is now the "youth pastor" at our church.
    Kentucky Vikes Fan

    When you require nothing, you get nothing; when you expect nothing, you will find nothing; when you embrace nothing, all you will have is nothing.

  4. #4
    shockzilla's Avatar
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    Re: Police Comments

    Pretty funny list, Singer!
    PPO Ambassador, Defender of the Purple Faith and Guardian of the Gates of Valhalla

  5. #5
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
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    Re: Police Comments

    #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place


    where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn


    dogs, and step in monkey poop."

    I like that one.

  6. #6
    jessejames09's Avatar
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    Re: Police Comments

    It's nice they didn't include all the ass kickings in those reports, a little something for the children. :

  7. #7
    PurpleTide's Avatar
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    Re: Police Comments


    Actually laughed outloud, thanks Singer.

  8. #8
    VKG4LFE's Avatar
    VKG4LFE is offline Jersey Retired Tetris Champion, Monkey GO Happy 4 Champion
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    Re: Police Comments

    Those are pretty good.

    I get the most pissed off looks from people with my VKG 4 LFE Wisconsin license plate, and I LOVE IT!!

  9. #9
    Marrdro's Avatar
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    Re: Police Comments

    #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
    Actually heard something pretty close to that one night in Brainerd MN.
    ;D
    Many many thanks to my talented friend Jos for the new Sig.http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v343/josdin00/Vikings/Marrdro_sig.jpg

  10. #10
    PurplePackerEater is offline Ring of Fame
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    Re: Police Comments

    "Marrdro" wrote:
    #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
    Actually heard something pretty close to that one night in Brainerd MN.

    ;D
    My neck of the woods.

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