Official Christmas Humor Thread (please, NO religious humor!)

**shockzilla** · 12-13-2007, 10:22 PM

I thought I'd start it off with the following:

[img size=100]http://www.purplepride.org/media/kunena/attachments/legacy/images/2_image.jpg[/img]

**BadlandsVikings** · 12-13-2007, 10:29 PM

**VikingMike** · 12-13-2007, 10:31 PM

[img width=450 height=250]http://farm1.static.flickr.com/35/71550033_7a8feeddbb.jpg?v=0[/img]

**VikingMike** · 12-13-2007, 10:35 PM

**VikingMike** · 12-13-2007, 10:38 PM

[img width=450 height=319]http://farm1.static.flickr.com/166/329802298_70edd56f37.jpg?v=0[/img]

**BadlandsVikings** · 12-13-2007, 10:41 PM

**Zeus** · 12-14-2007, 08:49 AM

A woman and her husband were sitting down for dinner, early in the Christmas season.
After taking a sip of his wine, the husband asks his wife what she wants for Christmas this year.

She thinks about it for a moment and says, "Honey, I've been very supportive of your career, worked hard to raise our children and this year, I really want you to get me what I want."

"Of course, dear!" he answers.
"What do you really want?"

She replies, "This year, I want something that will go from 0-200 in under 5 seconds."

He thinks about it for a moment and says "Done.
I will make that happen for you."

Well, for the rest of the season, her mind is excited and pumped.
All of the Christmas car commercials get her going and she's so pumped on Christmas morning that she leaps out of her bed and tears downstairs to find her present.

She takes a look out at the driveway - nothing there.

She peeks out into the garage - nothing there.

She goes to the Christmas tree and starts looking for keys or paperwork or something hanging on the tree - nothing there.

Her husband comes downstairs and she turns to him - "Honey, where's my Christmas present?"

He smiles, reaches under the tree, pulls out a square shirt-box and hands it to her.
"Here, babe, Merry Christmas."

She looks at it and shakes it.
Then she looks up to her husband.
"You asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I told you that I wanted something that would go from 0-200 in under 5 seconds and YOU said you would make it happen!
So what the hell is this?"

He answers:
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"It's a scale!"

---
=Z=