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  1. #11
    scottishvike's Avatar
    scottishvike is offline Hall of Famer
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    Re: Need your advise guys. Please read this post!!!

    Sorry to hear about your situation, it sucks big time. Using is one thing but dealing spells big trouble for him (and you) if he gets busted. I'm no expert in the subject, but I think you have to tell him you know whats going on and to stop right away, what happens then is up to him. Others who have posted seem to have more knowledge, and hopefully they can help you further. Best wishes.

  2. #12
    VKG4LFE's Avatar
    VKG4LFE is offline Jersey Retired Tetris Champion, Monkey GO Happy 4 Champion
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    Re: Need your advise guys. Please read this post!!!

    I have no clue what to do in that situation. I do know that you have to get that stuff out of your house. Your brother is not only setting himself up for disaster but he is setting you up too. LIke the other people have said, you have to confront him and get him out of your place. I know it's your brother and you want to be there for him and help him but he has to help himself first.

    I get the most pissed off looks from people with my VKG 4 LFE Wisconsin license plate, and I LOVE IT!!

  3. #13
    michaelmazid is offline Team Alumni
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    Re: Need your advise guys. Please read this post!!!

    thank you for all the advise guys. I took all of the drugs out of my house and I am just waiting for him to go to his stash and see that none of his stuff is there. I am planning on telling him that he needs to get his own apartment and move out.

  4. #14
    Tanner_QBRB8 is offline Pro-Bowler
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    Re: Need your advise guys. Please read this post!!!

    you have a pretty sticky situation there but i would give him a chance to change his act and if he doesnt i think that there is no way he should stay in your house it may be hard for you to do that but if it has to be done it must and ill bet if it comes down to you having to kick him out he will clean up his act dealing or doing which ever he is doing and will get a job

  5. #15
    LuckyVike's Avatar
    LuckyVike is offline Team Alumni
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    Re: Need your advise guys. Please read this post!!!

    Good luck with everything dude. That's a real bad situation. Be sure to tell us if everything works out for you after he finds out what you did.
    The best part of my day is when I get down on my knees, with my head in my hands, and thank GOD for everything he has given me.

  6. #16
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    singersp is offline PPO Newshound
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    Re: Need your advise guys. Please read this post!!!

    "Mikecarter81" wrote:
    I agree with all of the above statements. This is one area I know a little bit about. I work full time as a Mental Health specialist in a hospital. We also care for rehab and other AODA ( alcohol and other drug abuse) services. One of the first steps in recovery for any loved one is to start the treatment of tough love. This is difficult for families to do. People don't want to hurt their loved ones and your brother will fight you kicking and screaming, but like someone above said it will bring you down eventually if you don't.

    I would do this.

    1. Let your mom and Dad know about the situation

    2. Discuss your views with your brother, let him know you love him and you support him, but if he continues to deal with drugs, he is out, no excuses.

    3. For yourself I would contact my local chapter of alanon, they are affiliate with AA and work specifically with families who have a loved one involved with drugs, its good support for yourself and helpful for your family as well.

    Mike

    If you have anymore questiuons post them here or feel free to drop me a pm
    WHOA! First off you can't assume that just because he is dealing drugs, he himself is addicted to or using them.

    Definitely get rid of the drugs from your house. You as the owner or renter are responsible for the drugs in your house.

    Tell the parents about it, as he has had drugs in their house as well before

    he moved in with you.

    Talk to him one on one & be firm as to your stand on the issue. Find out if he is using as well.

    Tough love does work. It worked for me, but only because I wanted to quit.

    If he doesn't want to quit using, AA or NA (Narcotics Anomnynous) will do him no good. That is a place for people who have the desire to quit.

    Alanon, as MikeCarter suggested, is a support group for families of addicts & alcoholics so they can understand the problem & learn how to deal with it. Check your local phone book. There is probably a 24/7 number you can call.

    I've been in recovery for 5 years now & if your bro has any desire to quit or just needs someone to talk to you can PM me as well.

    If he is strictly dealing, than that's a matter for the law. I would use that as leverage when talking to him about dealing.

    "If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you"

  7. #17
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    Re: Need your advise guys. Please read this post!!!

    Hey Props to you Singersp, five years is a real testimony to your dedication! My hats off to you.

    Mike
    I am an avid Viking fan, but also am an avid restoration guy of vintage Mopar(Chrysler, Dodge, Plymouth)B bodies

  8. #18
    Prophet Guest

    Re: Need your advise guys. Please read this post!!!

    Will pray for the situation, hope it works out for the best. It appears you started off on the right foot by confronting him one-on-one. Looks like there are plenty of people on here with more experience than me in the situation to lend a helping hand.

  9. #19
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    Re: Need your advise guys. Please read this post!!!

    he needs to leave...tell him why he is leaving and what he needs to do to come back.

  10. #20
    Caine's Avatar
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    Re: Need your advise guys. Please read this post!!!

    Some good advice from many on this one.

    As most pointed out, you are responsible for everything in your house. In Wisconsin, if the Police sieze drugs from your house and declare it a "Drug House", they can sieze the house as well...not something I would want to be faced with.

    Also, since he IS dealing (No doubt in my mind based upon the pattern of behaviour you described), you need to be very careful. A few cautionary points:

    1: The Police likely already know who he is and where he's living.
    2: Some of the people he associates with aren't very nice people (that's putting it mildly).
    3: Drugs transcend familial bonds.

    Singer pointed out thet he accepted help because he already had a desire to...many dealers and junkies DON'T. Many dealers don't see the harm in a little weed or a little blow. In fact, I've had them tell me, "I won't sell to kids" (As if that somehow exhonorated them).

    Talk to your brother...but not in an aggressive fashion (likely too late for that). If you can, find out to what level he's involved. If you confront him, he will only take a defensive stance and entrench all the more. At the same time, adopt a "Zero Tolerance" policy. Sounds like it conlicts, doesn't it. It really doesn't.

    Finally, understand that you have to protect yourself. Maybe not physically, but legally. The last thing you want is to be in a Drug task Force members 3x5 card file. Webby asked you to PM him, and while I haven't the foggiest notion what he is going to (or did) tell you, if anyone is offering you help in this...TAKE IT.

    Good luck.

    Caine

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