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  1. #1
    Prophet's Avatar
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    Josh McDaniels Stays Seated While Addressing Broncos Due to Unexpected Erection

    [size=12pt]Josh McDaniels Stays Seated While Addressing Broncos Due to Unexpected Erection[/size]
    sportsp.com

    Denver Broncos head coach Josh McDaniels, his body coursing with hormones due to the recent onset of puberty, addressed his team on Monday while seated – fearful they would spot his mysterious erection if he stood up to talk.

    “As though I don’t have enough on my plate with being the head coach of the Broncos and this Jay Cutler thing,” said McDaniels, his voice cracking. “Now puberty. My weiner is getting hard left and right for no reason at all. I don’t understand what’s happening.”

    The fresh-faced coach says his early days in Denver have been both rewarding and challenging.

    “Getting armpit hairs was pretty cool – probably even cooler than being hired to be head coach,” he said. “But the random boners and Mr. Cutler being mad at me stinks. I texted him the other day but he didn’t text me back. What’s up with that, dude? Does he really want me to talk to him instead of text him? What is he, like, 70?”

    McDaniels hoped to speak to his team at the first day of voluntary workouts while standing up in front of them – just as he learned in his middle school speech class – to try to show his authority. But he accidentally brushed against the doorframe on his way into the room – resulting in an instant erection and forcing him to dive into the nearest seat, trapped there until the uninvited visitor went away.

    “I thought it was weird that he talked to us while sitting all hunched over with his playbook sitting on his lap,” said safety Brian Dawkins. “But I was cool with it. Why do you think I signed with the Broncos? I love that they have a kid coaching here. At this point in my career I don’t want to be told what to do by anyone. If he even tries it, I’ll stuff him in a locker. I’m not going to be bossed around by no boner-popping Doogie Howser of the gridiron.”

    While McDaniels says his dad told him puberty is a difficult time that will eventually pass, the young coach is worried about more awkward situations.

    “Apparently our cheerleaders are coming in tomorrow for their first day of tryouts,” he said. “I better bring some extra underwear. And have to remember to wear deodorant, too. My secretary tells me I’m stinky. I guess I’m getting big-boy sweat glands.”
    Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Mark Twain

  2. #2
    Marrdro's Avatar
    Marrdro is offline Beware My Spreadsheet, Bitches!
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    Re: Josh McDaniels Stays Seated While Addressing Broncos Due to Unexpected Erection

    I gotta party with you sometime.
    ;D
    Many many thanks to my talented friend Jos for the new Sig.http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v343/josdin00/Vikings/Marrdro_sig.jpg

  3. #3
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
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    Re: Josh McDaniels Stays Seated While Addressing Broncos Due to Unexpected Erection

    he'd be fine if he'd rub pickles on it

  4. #4
    bleedpurple is offline Ring of Fame
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    Re: Josh McDaniels Stays Seated While Addressing Broncos Due to Unexpected Erection

    OMG... atleast he could have brushed against the ass of a hot female reporter... not a damn doorway...

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