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Thread: Job Listing....

  1. #1
    coreyd is offline Coach
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    Job Listing....

    Wanted: 23-28 year old female with good taste, knows what she wants out of life, and MUST love watching football.
    Height: 5'0" - 6'0"
    Weight: 100 - 150
    Hair: Blonde/Brown/Red :-)/...anything but shaved
    Eyes: Must have eyes
    Must be into sports and taking care of her body....and be flexible.....

    All that need apply call 1-800-perfect-woman

    All other details will be discussed at time of interview!

  2. #2
    Del Rio Guest

    Re: Job Listing....

    Hi My name is Michelle.


    Height: 5'5"

    Weight: 124lbs

    Hair: Long Red Hair

    Eyes: I have eyes



    I love football, particularly Viking football. My old boyfriends used to hate that I would get so turned on during the games that I would jump them before halftime.

    I love my space too, I never intrude on my mans space, if he wants to go fishing I only offer to clean his catch if he wants. Trips to the bar no problem just call me if you need a ride home.

    I inherited 2 million dollars, so I don't work but I spend my free time eating bananas and working out my body. I do Pilates and Yoga every day I can actually bend in half.

    I am smart enough to know when not to talk, and my favorite activity is pleasing my man especially physically.

    Oh and I love video games, I love sitting on the couch rubbing my mans shoulders when he is playing madden for hours on end. Sometimes I stop to cook him dinner, I am an excelent cook. I don't mind a chubby man either it means he loves my cooking.


    I have enclosed a picture.......................


















  3. #3
    coreyd is offline Coach
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    Re: Job Listing....

    YOUR THE ONE I AM LOOKING FOR!!!

    J/K

    I figured my post might get some laughs....

  4. #4
    cc21 is offline Ring of Fame
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    Re: Job Listing....

    o my good god! :shock:

  5. #5
    tarkenton10's Avatar
    tarkenton10 is offline Star Spokesman
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    Re: Job Listing....

    Del Rio - Get off the computer and get back to work. oh yeah....... quit flirting!!! HA! HA!

    There s only two things stopping you - fear and common sense!! The Truth you CAN"T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!

  6. #6
    Del Rio Guest

    Re: Job Listing....

    I dont want to distract away from your post too much :lol: But a funny dorm story from Del.



    My senior year in college my new roomate just got a very nice new computer. He would always be on that thing talking to *girls* in chat rooms.

    We had a running joke with him there were no real girls on the internet just guys looking for or pretending to be girls.

    So one night I was drinking with a few friends in a dorm room down the hall and get a genious idea. I log onto his yahoo chat and start messing with him. With ten or so guys drunk off their assess around the computer laughing.

    Now my roomate was 2 rooms down the hall.....but he must not have heard. So I ask him if he wants to see me on my web cam. He is like "HELL YES BABY" so I say I need to hook it up and I would be right back. I logout. I sign on as a different user babygrl001 or some crap.....pm him and ask him if he wanted to see me on my web cam..he says he's waiting for someone .....me.....

    Babygrl says too bad I'm really hot. So he agrees as long as it is fast. We PM him a web shot of Charles "grape ape" Adams ASS!!! Now Charles is a 320 pound black man that played center for our team. Grape Ape because although he is black for some reason he looks purple....lol

    He PM's You sick fuck what the hell kind of person does that yada yada.

    I sign back on as the person he was talking too before he is like man I am glad you are here.....you wont belive what happened.....so he is like you got that web cam ready? And at this point I am laughing so hard Charles has to take over I am on the floor.

    Charles says yeah what part of me do you want to see first.....he is classy and asks to see charles eyes.

    Charles says I allready took a pic of my nipples. My roomate is like OK LOL LOL LOL LETS SEE EM.

    Charles whips out his double D milk duds and I hear this "WHAT THE FUCK!!!" From down the hall........OMG LMAO...... Charles zooms in on his face and says there are no girls on the internet you sick bastard!!!

    He recognized Charles and ran down to his room kicks the door in kid is pissed......see's 10 or so guys laughing their ass off.....he starts laughing himself...proceeds to get drunk LOL

  7. #7
    ultravikingfan's Avatar
    ultravikingfan is offline Administrator
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    Re: Job Listing....

    OMG! That was some funny pooh D.R.!

    I love that pic of the overwieght, naked dude! :lol:

  8. #8
    cajunvike's Avatar
    cajunvike is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Job Listing....

    "Del Rio" wrote:
    I dont want to distract away from your post too much :lol: But a funny dorm story from Del.



    My senior year in college my new roomate just got a very nice new computer. He would always be on that thing talking to *girls* in chat rooms.

    We had a running joke with him there were no real girls on the internet just guys looking for or pretending to be girls.

    So one night I was drinking with a few friends in a dorm room down the hall and get a genious idea. I log onto his yahoo chat and start messing with him. With ten or so guys drunk off their assess around the computer laughing.

    Now my roomate was 2 rooms down the hall.....but he must not have heard. So I ask him if he wants to see me on my web cam. He is like "HELL YES BABY" so I say I need to hook it up and I would be right back. I logout. I sign on as a different user babygrl001 or some crap.....pm him and ask him if he wanted to see me on my web cam..he says he's waiting for someone .....me.....

    Babygrl says too bad I'm really hot. So he agrees as long as it is fast. We PM him a web shot of Charles "grape ape" Adams jiggly butt!!! Now Charles is a 320 pound black man that played center for our team. Grape Ape because although he is black for some reason he looks purple....lol

    He PM's You sick F!!ck what the hell kind of person does that yada yada.

    I sign back on as the person he was talking too before he is like man I am glad you are here.....you wont belive what happened.....so he is like you got that web cam ready? And at this point I am laughing so hard Charles has to take over I am on the floor.

    Charles says yeah what part of me do you want to see first.....he is classy and asks to see charles eyes.

    Charles says I allready took a pic of my nipples. My roomate is like OK LOL LOL LOL LETS SEE EM.

    Charles whips out his double D milk duds and I hear this "WHAT THE F!!ck!!!" From down the hall........OMG LMAO...... Charles zooms in on his face and says there are no girls on the internet you sick bastard!!!

    He recognized Charles and ran down to his room kicks the door in kid is pissed......see's 10 or so guys laughing their jiggly butt off.....he starts laughing himself...proceeds to get drunk LOL
    Instant CLASSIC!!! :lol:
    BANNED OR DEAD...I'LL TAKE EITHER ONE

  9. #9
    Viking_Spirit is offline Star Spokesman
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    Re: Job Listing....

    LMAO that's HILARIOUS Del Rio!

    Guns don t kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.

  10. #10
    coreyd is offline Coach
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    Re: Job Listing....

    Funny as hell!

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