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  1. #11
    oddmanout22287 is offline Pro-Bowler
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    Re: I would really appreciate some help

    PP80, man, you're telling my life story bro

    Throughout high school I had a huge thing for this girl that I had known since like 5th grade, and it took me so long to actually tell her how I felt that I had fallen into the dreaded "friend zone". My only experience dating a girl in high school was this chick that I dated off and on sophomore through senior year; that relationship messed me up more than it did give me confidence, because I was basically a doormat for her to walk all over. SHe cheated on me multiple times, and I would always forgive her and treat her like a queen. That, plus the fact that I was fairly ostracized through high school by a lot of people, made me a pretty shy and depressed person throughout my high school years.

    Things changed when I went to college though; I moved out of my hometown (louisville, KY), and had a huge change in scenery by going to school in Morris, MN. When I got there, I really just forgot about wanting to be with a girl, and with that came the confidence I never had; since I wasn't really trying or wanting to have a girlfriend at the time, I wasn't overthinking and overanalyzing everything I said and did, and suddenly I had the problem of having too many girls interested in me :razz: Now I've been dating a girl for 9 months now, and everything is great!

    So my advice: (If you can't go to college 14 hours away and start over :grin Just realize that the one goofy thing you say or do in front of a girl probably won't matter that far down the road, so don't be afraid to just go for it man. And if doesn't go well, oh well dude; you seem like a really great guy, so it's probably more her loss than your's :wink:
    PM me if you'd like a sig.

  2. #12
    PurplePride80's Avatar
    PurplePride80 is offline Star Spokesman
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    Re: I would really appreciate some help

    "oddmanout22287" wrote:
    PP80, man, you're telling my life story bro

    Throughout high school I had a huge thing for this girl that I had known since like 5th grade, and it took me so long to actually tell her how I felt that I had fallen into the dreaded "friend zone". My only experience dating a girl in high school was this chick that I dated off and on sophomore through senior year; that relationship messed me up more than it did give me confidence, because I was basically a doormat for her to walk all over. SHe cheated on me multiple times, and I would always forgive her and treat her like a queen. That, plus the fact that I was fairly ostracized through high school by a lot of people, made me a pretty shy and depressed person throughout my high school years.

    Things changed when I went to college though; I moved out of my hometown (louisville, KY), and had a huge change in scenery by going to school in Morris, MN. When I got there, I really just forgot about wanting to be with a girl, and with that came the confidence I never had; since I wasn't really trying or wanting to have a girlfriend at the time, I wasn't overthinking and overanalyzing everything I said and did, and suddenly I had the problem of having too many girls interested in me :razz: Now I've been dating a girl for 9 months now, and everything is great!

    So my advice: (If you can't go to college 14 hours away and start over :grin Just realize that the one goofy thing you say or do in front of a girl probably won't matter that far down the road, so don't be afraid to just go for it man. And if doesn't go well, oh well dude; you seem like a really great guy, so it's probably more her loss than your's :wink:
    That's something that would probably happen to me.

    I'm naturally a nice guy and nice guys often allow themselves to become the doormat.

    The "bad boys" don't give a d@mn, and women seem to like that.
    In the P.J.'s, my blend tape plays, bullets are strays
    Young bitches is grazed
    Each block, is like a maze, full of black rats trapped
    Plus the Island is packed
    From what I hear in all the stories when my peoples come back, black

  3. #13
    cajunvike's Avatar
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    Re: I would really appreciate some help

    1. Be yourself...BUT make sure that you are fairly conversant on a variety of topics...not just football and GameBoy...women like guys that can talk about things that THEY are interested in!

    2. Be yourself...BUT be prepared to talk to women about things that THEY want to talk about. Ask them questions and let them do more of the talking. You will accomplish two things: one, you won't have to talk as much...and two, you will find out what they like so that you can focus the conversation more on what they like.

    3. Women like "outgoing" guys because they appear to be having the most fun...and EVERYBODY likes to have fun. That is good for a one-night stand or for someone who likes to party all the time, but there are LOTS and LOTS of women who are looking for a stable person. Now, that DOESN'T mean that you shouldn't try to be more outgoing...BUT you should attempt to suggest activities that she would enjoy (see #2). Most of all, be yourself...if the woman doesn't like you for who you are, then it would be a waste of time to date her anyway...unless you are looking for a one-night stand...in which case, you should ACT like the "bad boy" for a night, get some play, and dump her the next morning!

    Most of all, BE YOURSELF...you will be miserable otherwise and you will be stuck with a woman who likes the person you are pretending to be...not the person who you really are!

    My younger nephew was a lot like you...but he met a woman while competing on the debate team. They like each other for who they both are...and they are now engaged. She is going to law school in the fall and he is following her there to finish up his undergrad degree at whichever local school will take most or all of his credits. So don't let ANYTHING stop you from finding the RIGHT ONE...no one can tell you who that is or what she should look or be like...therefore, don't limit yourself to what society says you should be looking for...pick the woman that keeps you interested long AFTER you get out of bed!
    BANNED OR DEAD...I'LL TAKE EITHER ONE

  4. #14
    shockzilla's Avatar
    shockzilla is offline PPO Ambassador
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    Re: I would really appreciate some help

    "cajunvike" wrote:
    1. Be yourself...BUT make sure that you are fairly conversant on a variety of topics...not just football and GameBoy...women like guys that can talk about things that THEY are interested in!

    2. Be yourself...BUT be prepared to talk to women about things that THEY want to talk about. Ask them questions and let them do more of the talking. You will accomplish two things: one, you won't have to talk as much...and two, you will find out what they like so that you can focus the conversation more on what they like.

    3. Women like "outgoing" guys because they appear to be having the most fun...and EVERYBODY likes to have fun. That is good for a one-night stand or for someone who likes to party all the time, but there are LOTS and LOTS of women who are looking for a stable person. Now, that DOESN'T mean that you shouldn't try to be more outgoing...BUT you should attempt to suggest activities that she would enjoy (see #2). Most of all, be yourself...if the woman doesn't like you for who you are, then it would be a waste of time to date her anyway...unless you are looking for a one-night stand...in which case, you should ACT like the "bad boy" for a night, get some play, and dump her the next morning!

    Most of all, BE YOURSELF...you will be miserable otherwise and you will be stuck with a woman who likes the person you are pretending to be...not the person who you really are!

    My younger nephew was a lot like you...but he met a woman while competing on the debate team. They like each other for who they both are...and they are now engaged. She is going to law school in the fall and he is following her there to finish up his undergrad degree at whichever local school will take most or all of his credits. So don't let ANYTHING stop you from finding the RIGHT ONE...no one can tell you who that is or what she should look or be like...therefore, don't limit yourself to what society says you should be looking for...pick the woman that keeps you interested long AFTER you get out of bed!
    Nicely put, Cajun!!!

    PP80, just remember: be yourself. Let your intuition guide you. You will know to do what's right if it feels right. Good luck!
    PPO Ambassador, Defender of the Purple Faith and Guardian of the Gates of Valhalla

  5. #15
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
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    Re: I would really appreciate some help

    I'm like you. Very very shy. People have told me they think I'm rude because of it. The best thing do is swallow it and do what you need to do.

  6. #16
    FedjeViking is offline Ring of Fame
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    Re: I would really appreciate some help

    "cajunvike" wrote:
    1. Be yourself...BUT make sure that you are fairly conversant on a variety of topics...not just football and GameBoy...women like guys that can talk about things that THEY are interested in!

    2. Be yourself...BUT be prepared to talk to women about things that THEY want to talk about. Ask them questions and let them do more of the talking. You will accomplish two things: one, you won't have to talk as much...and two, you will find out what they like so that you can focus the conversation more on what they like.

    3. Women like "outgoing" guys because they appear to be having the most fun...and EVERYBODY likes to have fun. That is good for a one-night stand or for someone who likes to party all the time, but there are LOTS and LOTS of women who are looking for a stable person. Now, that DOESN'T mean that you shouldn't try to be more outgoing...BUT you should attempt to suggest activities that she would enjoy (see #2). Most of all, be yourself...if the woman doesn't like you for who you are, then it would be a waste of time to date her anyway...unless you are looking for a one-night stand...in which case, you should ACT like the "bad boy" for a night, get some play, and dump her the next morning!

    Most of all, BE YOURSELF...you will be miserable otherwise and you will be stuck with a woman who likes the person you are pretending to be...not the person who you really are!

    My younger nephew was a lot like you...but he met a woman while competing on the debate team. They like each other for who they both are...and they are now engaged. She is going to law school in the fall and he is following her there to finish up his undergrad degree at whichever local school will take most or all of his credits. So don't let ANYTHING stop you from finding the RIGHT ONE...no one can tell you who that is or what she should look or be like...therefore, don't limit yourself to what society says you should be looking for...pick the woman that keeps you interested long AFTER you get out of bed!
    Nicely put Cajun.
    He needs to be himself, but he also needs to get out in more social situations to overcome his shyness. It doesn't need to be places for just meeting girls, just places to interact with both sexes. The shyness will go away in time.
    You do fine talking here. So go to events you are interested in and talk to the people around you about the event. Keep in mind you don't have to see them again so you don't have to worry about making a fool of yourself! :lol:
    And for the record, most girls are looking for the long term relationship, but like to have fun looking! :lol:
    Get out more! Talk to people. Start the conversation, don't wait for someone to talk to you first! :lol:
    [move]"Our day WILL come!! I just hope I LIVE long enough to see it!"[/move]

  7. #17
    PurplePride80's Avatar
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    Re: I would really appreciate some help

    Any other advice?
    In the P.J.'s, my blend tape plays, bullets are strays
    Young bitches is grazed
    Each block, is like a maze, full of black rats trapped
    Plus the Island is packed
    From what I hear in all the stories when my peoples come back, black

  8. #18
    Vikes_King's Avatar
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    Re: I would really appreciate some help

    unfortunatly, i really dont think theres anything anyone can tell you to help you become less shy, its a process that will take some time, if you try you just get casually more comfortable with yourself

    i used to be pretty shy myself, would never initiate the conversation, wouldnt know what to say when someone else did, never approached someone i liked because either i didnt think they liked me or i wouldnt know what to do

    now, im the guy that will go out and start talkin with everyone at the party, leave with a bunch of numbers and shit.

    for me, i think the biggest thing is not caring. care about what people think in a way where you arnt mean or hurting people, but if they judge you before they know you Ã*’uck them and they're not worth you trying to get to know anyways. for every 1 person you meet that doesnt like you, there will be 100 that do. can't be afraid of what someone will say, approach people and be the one to start the conversation (and most importantly keep it going), you'd be surprised how one question about something you guys have in common can spark a long ass convo


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  9. #19
    VikesfaninWis's Avatar
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    Re: I would really appreciate some help

    Sounds to me that you are a bit afraid of rejection.. That I believe is common ground for any woman, or man.. Usually you will have an idea if a girl is interested in you long before you will even have to ask her out.. If you are 20 now, that means you are not in high school any longer, and it may be a little bit harder to meet a girl..

    For me, I was on the high school football team so it was easy meeting different girls and hanging out with them.. I fortunately never had a problem talking to girls, and asking them out. I grew up in a big city if Florida so talikng to girls was a common thing for me..

    All I can say is be yourself.. If you act like what you truely are, then a girl will like you for that.. A girl likes a guy for being themselves, not trying to be something different.. If you really like a girl, start out slow, and work your way up to asking her out.. It may sound like a long wait, or even a waste of time, but trust me, when you meet that special person it will all fall right into place. Be yourself man, and good luck with everything..

  10. #20
    PurplePride80's Avatar
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    Re: I would really appreciate some help

    ^Thanks, it wouldn't suprise me if I had some type of social anxiety disorder.
    In the P.J.'s, my blend tape plays, bullets are strays
    Young bitches is grazed
    Each block, is like a maze, full of black rats trapped
    Plus the Island is packed
    From what I hear in all the stories when my peoples come back, black

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