How To Wash Your Cat

**BadlandsVikings** · 07-03-2007, 10:59 PM

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water.

3. Obtain the cat and carry him to the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and
close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so
that he cannot escape).

CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too
close to the edge, as his paws will be
reaching out for anything he can find.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides
a "power wash and rinse" which I have found to be
quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure
that there are no people between the toilet and the
outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and
quickly lift both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and
run outside where he will dry himself.

**jessejames09** · 07-03-2007, 11:14 PM

Note: this method does not work for cleaning your gold fish or pet iguana.
Somehow they get out???

**jessejames09** · 07-03-2007, 11:25 PM

Im really starting to second guess you BLV. After this 'method' managed to make my gold fish and iguana disappear I figured id try my newborn kitten. Because i can't really judge without following directions exactly. He also vanished?

So whats the trick does toilet water disolve animals when doused in it? I don't understand and would really like my pets back, thank you.

=jj=

**jmcdon00** · 07-04-2007, 01:58 AM

this new router bloody horns bought works awesome!

**BloodyHorns82** · 07-04-2007, 02:57 AM

The next time my cat pukes on the carpet I'm going to give him a toilet bath just for sport.

**ultravikingfan** · 07-04-2007, 06:10 AM

"jessejames09" wrote:

Note: this method does not work for cleaning your gold fish or pet iguana.
Somehow they get out???

Don't try is with an alligator either.
I think they made of movie about that.

**NordicNed** · 07-04-2007, 09:03 AM

No shit, I just had to remove a blue crab from my sons cat's nose.....LMAO

**singersp** · 07-04-2007, 09:25 AM

"NordicNed" wrote:

No shit, I just had to remove a blue crab from my sons cat's nose.....LMAO

Your cats have crabs?
:-

**VKG4LFE** · 07-04-2007, 09:29 AM

I would love to see somebody actually do that to a cat....sorry animal lovers!

**marcosMN** · 07-04-2007, 10:21 AM

"VKG4LFE" wrote:

I would love to see somebody actually do that to a cat....sorry animal lovers!

People do far worse things than sticking a cat in a toilet.

If someone were to actually get upset about this joke, they would immediately be smashed in the face by the overreaction hammer.