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  1. #31
    Prophet Guest

    Re: In honor of Cajun's 11,111th post: Your best lawyer jokes!

    For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short.

    There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! "Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!"

    "Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."

  2. #32
    DCPologirl is offline Team Alumni
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    Re: In honor of Cajun's 11,111th post: Your best lawyer joke

    Cajun you are a show off....here ya go.

    A doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask.
    The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed it and put it away.
    "Aren't you going to have a drink yourself?" asked the doctor.
    "Sure, after the police leave," replied the attorney.

    DCPologirl:Maybe Randy will make Aaron Brooks look better......roflmao Del Rio: I guarantee he will

  3. #33
    cajunvike's Avatar
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    Re: In honor of Cajun's 11,111th post: Your best lawyer jokes!

    "singersp" wrote:
    The Madam opened the brothel door to see a frail, elderly gentleman.

    "Can I help you?" the madam asked.

    "I want Natalie," the old man replied.

    "Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone else?"

    "No, I must see Natalie."

    Just then Natalie appeared and announced to the old man that she charged $1,000 per visit. Without blinking, the man reached into his pocket and handed her ten $100 bills. The two went up to a room for an hour, whereafter the man calmly left.

    The next night he appeared again demanding to see Natalie. Natalie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row and that there were no discounts. It was still $1,000 a visit. Again the old man took out the money, the two went up to the room and an hour later, he left.

    When he showed up the third consecutive night, no one could believe it. Again he handed Natalie the money and up to the room they went. At the end of the hour Natalie questioned the old man:

    "No one has ever used my services three nights in a row. Where are you from?"

    The old man replied, "I'm from Philadelphia."

    "Really?" replied Natalie. "I have family who lives there."

    "Yes, I know," said the old man. "Your father died, and I'm your sister's attorney. She asked me to give this $3,000 to you."
    Aren't we lawyers smooth? :grin:
    BANNED OR DEAD...I'LL TAKE EITHER ONE

  4. #34
    gregair13's Avatar
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    Re: In honor of Cajun's 11,111th post: Your best lawyer jokes!

    lawyers are great. my brother, and 2 of my cousins are lawyers. and my uncle is a judge.
    We're bringing purple back.

  5. #35
    singersp's Avatar
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    Re: In honor of Cajun's 11,111th post: Your best lawyer jokes!

    Young Lawyer

    An investment counselor Melba Boudreaux went out on her own. She was shrewed and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counselor, so she began interviewing young lawyers.

    "As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants,

    Lawyer Tib Thibodeaux, "in a business like this, our personal intergrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward, "Mr. Thibodeaux, are you an honest lawyer?"

    "Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honesty. Why, I'm so honest that my father lent me fifteen thousand dollars for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."

    "Impressive ... and what was case was that?" asked Melba.

    Lawyer Thibodeaux squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money."

    "If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you"

  6. #36
    cajunvike's Avatar
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    Re: In honor of Cajun's 11,111th post: Your best lawyer jokes!

    Action Jackson is on a roll! LOL
    BANNED OR DEAD...I'LL TAKE EITHER ONE

  7. #37
    singersp's Avatar
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    Re: In honor of Cajun's 11,111th post: Your best lawyer jokes!

    Witness knows everything

    The procecutong attorney, Mr. Simoneaux, called his first witness to the stand in the trial, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, Ma'am Boudreaux. He approached her and asked her, "Mrs. Boudreaux, do you know me?"

    She responded, "Why yes, I do know you Mr. Simoneaux. I've know you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their back. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brain to realize you never will amount to anything more that a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

    Lawyer Simoneaux was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Boudreaux do you know the defense attorney, Mr. Thibodeaux?"

    She again replied, "Why yes, I do know Mr. Thibodeaux since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice one of the shoddiest in the entire state of Louisiana. Yes, I know him."

    At that point, Judge Babineaux rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"

    "If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you"

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