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  1. #1
    baumy300 is offline Star Spokesman
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    Gold digger gets shut down - hilarity ensues.

    THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST - must read down to the reply...
    What am I doing wrong?

    Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
    (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
    I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
    least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
    that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think
    I'm overreaching at all.

    Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
    you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
    200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
    me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
    to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
    I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
    get to her level?

    Here are my questions specifically:

    - Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
    restaurants, gyms

    -What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
    feelings

    -Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

    - Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
    side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
    nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
    gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story
    there?

    - Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
    banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
    hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

    - How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
    MARRIAGE ONLY

    Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
    way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
    about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
    able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
    nice home and hearth.

    THE ANSWER
    Dear Pers-431649184:

    I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
    about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
    Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
    bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
    see it.

    Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
    crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
    suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
    my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
    money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
    that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
    be getting any more beautiful!

    So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
    asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
    accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
    hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
    earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

    So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
    and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
    to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
    you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
    to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
    as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

    Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
    I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
    as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
    believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
    hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

    By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
    we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

    With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
    Classic "pump and dump." I hope this is helpful, and if you want to
    enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

  2. #2
    C Mac D's Avatar
    C Mac D is offline Posting to P'own
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    Re: Gold digger gets shut down - hilarity ensues.

    She represents all that is wrong with this country. I don't really believe in Hell... but if I did,
    I'd guarantee you I'd see her there.
    Disclaimer: I'm an idiot.

  3. #3
    baumy300 is offline Star Spokesman
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    Re: Gold digger gets shut down - hilarity ensues.

    "C" wrote:
    She represents all that is wrong with this country. I don't really believe in Hell... but if I did,
    I'd guarantee you I'd see her there.
    Haha, she is an idiot, but I wouldn't say she is hell worthy. In all honesty, she is just saying what a lot of women think. Just how we as guys ask a bunch of pointless, small-talk questions to girls we just meet, and pretend to be interested in their answers when all we are really thinking is "I wonder what she would look like sprawled across my bed?"


  4. #4
    Marrdro's Avatar
    Marrdro is offline Beware My Spreadsheet, Bitches!
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    Re: Gold digger gets shut down - hilarity ensues.

    Now that is funny.
    ;D
    Many many thanks to my talented friend Jos for the new Sig.http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v343/josdin00/Vikings/Marrdro_sig.jpg

  5. #5
    C Mac D's Avatar
    C Mac D is offline Posting to P'own
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    Re: Gold digger gets shut down - hilarity ensues.

    "baumy300" wrote:
    "C" wrote:
    She represents all that is wrong with this country. I don't really believe in Hell... but if I did,
    I'd guarantee you I'd see her there.
    Haha, she is an idiot, but I wouldn't say she is hell worthy. In all honesty, she is just saying what a lot of women think. Just how we as guys ask a bunch of pointless, small-talk questions to girls we just meet, and pretend to be interested in their answers when all we are really thinking is "I wonder what she would look like sprawled across my bed?"

    Eh, you might be right... and to my own defense, I said "I'd see her there" so, I'm no better.

    But she is pretty much marrying a bank account... as an excuse to live in NYC.

    She can marry me, I live in NYC... but she'd have to sleep on my fire-escape.
    Disclaimer: I'm an idiot.

  6. #6
    ItalianStallion's Avatar
    ItalianStallion is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Gold digger gets shut down - hilarity ensues.

    Good response, and it makes sense.
    If you want to enter a shallow relationship...it works both ways...


    I m like a Ja Rule poster, cause I'm off the wall.

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