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  1. #1
    purplehorn is offline Hall of Famer
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Posts
    1,374

    THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men &women differ so
    > much.
    > > And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
    never
    > > figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. I
    > > have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a
    state
    > > of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."
    > >
    > > FOR EXAMPLE:
    > > One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
    > > passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like
    it,
    > I
    > > just want you to hold me."
    > >
    > > " I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
    > >
    > > So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
    > > hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
    enough
    > > for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
    > >
    > > She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
    > who
    > > I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
    > >
    > > Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
    > >
    > > The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
    > > her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
    > > unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
    > > different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take
    so
    > > I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment
    her
    > > new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to
    the
    > > jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me
    tell
    > > you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of
    a
    > > shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a
    > > tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I
    > > threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost
    > > nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
    > >
    > > Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
    > > dear, let's go to the cashier".
    > >
    > > I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
    feel
    > > like it."
    > >
    > > Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
    > > "WHAT???!!!"
    > >
    > > I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for
    > > awhile...You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
    enough
    > > for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
    > >
    > > And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,
    > "Why
    > > can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
    > >
    > > Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
    Green Bay police station toilet stolen.

    Cops say they have nothing to go on.

  2. #2
    triedandtruevikesfan is offline Jersey Retired
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Posts
    5,588

    THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

    LOL... that was the funniest thing I have ever heard!!

  3. #3
    VKG4LFE's Avatar
    VKG4LFE is offline Jersey Retired Tetris Champion, Monkey GO Happy 4 Champion
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Location
    Hartford, WI
    Posts
    15,991

    THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

    A famous (or not so famous) quote from Chris Farley in the movie Tommy Boy:

    "That, was, awesome!"

    I get the most pissed off looks from people with my VKG 4 LFE Wisconsin license plate, and I LOVE IT!!

  4. #4
    Viking_Spirit is offline Star Spokesman
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Posts
    1,891

    THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

    LMAO!!!!

    Guns don t kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.

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