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Thread: Darwin Awards

  1. #1
    Prophet Guest

    Darwin Awards

    Darwin Awards

    Cleansing the human genome of idiots is a good thing. Here are a few of the contestants:

    (3 October 2004, Galati, Romania) Constantin, 67, lived in a formerly peaceful village near Galati. But lately Constantin just couldn't get any sleep, all because of a single noisy chicken. Night after night he dreamed of wringing its neck, or even better, chopping its head off. One night, he finally had enough. He roused himself from bed and headed out to the yard in his underwear, determined to bring silence once more to his home.

    The sleep-deprived villager grabbed that chicken by the neck and chopped its head right off. Only then did he realize that he had confused his own penis for the chicken's neck. While Constantin stood stunned by his folly, his dog rushed over and gobbled up the treat.

    He was rushed to the hospital, bleeding heavily. Doctors sewed up the wound and pronounced him out of danger. He is also in no danger of reproducing.
    (13 January 2005, Croatia) One fateful afternoon, 55-year-old Marko retreated to his semi-detached workshop to make himself a tool for chimney cleaning. The chimney was too high for a simple broom to work, but if he could attach a brush to a chain and then weigh it down with something, that would do the trick. But what could he use as a weight?
    He happened to have the perfect object. It was heavy, yet compact. And best of all, it was made of metal, so he could weld it to the chain. He must have somehow overlooked the fact that it was also a hand grenade and was filled with explosive material.

    Marko turned on his welding apparatus and began to create an arc between the chain and the grenade. As the metal heated up, the grenade exploded. The force of the explosion killed poor Marko instantly, blasting shrapnel through the walls of the shed and shattering the windshield of a Mercedes parked outside. Marko's chimney was untouched, however.
    (7 March 2005, Vietnam) Nguyen, 21, had been drinking with friends in Hanoi, when he pulled out an old detonator he had found. It was about six centimeters long and eight centimeters in diameter, with two wires hanging out. Because it was old and rusty, Nguyen said, it couldn't explode. His friends disagreed.
    To prove his point, Nguyen put the detonator in his mouth and asked his friend to plug the dangling wires into a 220-volt electrical receptacle.

    Turns out Nyugen was wrong!

    The victim had little time to reflect on his mistaken, or whether 220 volts alone could have been fatal. According to police, "the explosion blew out his cheeks and smashed all his teeth." He died on the way to the hospital.

    28 November 2004, Washington | We have a new Darwin winner, with the recent demise of a man at the hands of his lava lamp. "Why on Earth he heated a lava lamp on the stove, we don't know," said baffled police.

    No drug or alcohol evidence was found; Philip Quinn, 24, in his right mind, placed a lava lamp on his kitchen burner and turned up the flame. In due course, he rediscovered this favorite explosive generator of deadly shrapnel. He was found dead in his Kent trailer home, a shard of glass through his heart.
    Many more on the site.

  2. #2
    hailtocarter's Avatar
    hailtocarter is offline Asst. Coach
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    Re: Darwin Awards

    holy crap people are stupid!

  3. #3
    Navycoach's Avatar
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    Re: Darwin Awards

    28 November 2004, Washington | We have a new Darwin winner, with the recent demise of a man at the hands of his lava lamp. "Why on Earth he heated a lava lamp on the stove, we don't know," said baffled police.

    No drug or alcohol evidence was found; Philip Quinn, 24, in his right mind, placed a lava lamp on his kitchen burner and turned up the flame. In due course, he rediscovered this favorite explosive generator of deadly shrapnel. He was found dead in his Kent trailer home, a shard of glass through his heart.
    I remember seeing this one on the news and laughing my butt off.

  4. #4
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
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    Re: Darwin Awards

    Wow. It would really suck to have a family member die in a stupid, Darwin-worthy accident. It would be tragic and embarassing. But, to the rest of us, it's an extremely guilty pleasure to laugh at them, then feel bad for finding someone's death to be funny. Thank you, Darwin Awards.


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  5. #5
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    Re: Darwin Awards

    [size=12pt]Drunk is ripped to shreds by crocs[/size]
    Monday, August 18, 2008

    A drunk was ripped to pieces by crocodiles in front of horrified tourists...
    Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Mark Twain

  6. #6
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    Re: Darwin Awards

    Good way for kids to learn a bout violence

  7. #7
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    Re: Darwin Awards

    "Prophet" wrote:
    [size=12pt]Drunk is ripped to shreds by crocs[/size]
    Monday, August 18, 2008

    A drunk was ripped to pieces by crocodiles in front of horrified tourists...

    The others then tore him to pieces in the attack. He was not able to be identified.
    UPDATE! The victim is believed to be the owner of this bike which remained unmoved in the park for two days following the incident.

    [img width=450 height=337]http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b21/singersp82759/Rats_Hole_gator_bike.jpg[/img]

    [size=13pt]Payback's a bitch![/size]

    "If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you"

  8. #8
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    Re: Darwin Awards

    Oh the darwin awards. One award I hope i never win
    We're bringing purple back.

  9. #9
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    Re: Darwin Awards

    Good to see Eugenics is alive and well. It worked for the Nazis.

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