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  1. #1
    RK.'s Avatar
    RK.
    RK. is offline Ring of Fame Rally Cross II Champion
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    darwin awards 2006

    * IN Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

    * A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran,"--accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his daily run.

    * Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach on the outer banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

    * Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

    * Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

    HONORABLE MENTION: < BR>* Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was closed.

    RUNNER UP:
    * TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say" said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located.


    AND THE WINNER: Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him" said flabbergasted
    Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves that "%%%% happens!"

    WWBGD

  2. #2
    cajunvike's Avatar
    cajunvike is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: darwin awards 2006

    Survival of the fittest...or in these cases, the smartest!!! :lol:
    BANNED OR DEAD...I'LL TAKE EITHER ONE

  3. #3
    whackthepack is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: darwin awards 2006

    Weeding out the heard!

    I love watching America's Funniest Home Video's just to watch stupid sh*t people do, and then they wonder why it happened!
    What we've got here is failure to communicate.

  4. #4
    Prophet Guest

    Re: darwin awards 2006

    The Darwin awards are awesome, too bad you have to die to win. I wonder if the recipients relation puts the trophy on their fireplace mantle.

  5. #5
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    Re: darwin awards 2006

    Eeew! that last one. What a way to go.

    I'm exercising my ass by doing flexing exercises while typing. Prophet 3:42pm March 16, 2007
    "If God had wanted man to play soccer, he wouldn't have given us arms." Mike Ditka

  6. #6
    shockzilla's Avatar
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    Re: darwin awards 2006

    None of them sound like a fun way to go, that's for sure!!!
    PPO Ambassador, Defender of the Purple Faith and Guardian of the Gates of Valhalla

  7. #7
    RK.'s Avatar
    RK.
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    Re: darwin awards 2006

    I have found out that these are not the 2006 awards. They are highlights from past years. Sorry about that. Someone sent them to me misrepresented. ops: They are still good though. :smile:

    WWBGD

  8. #8
    singersp's Avatar
    singersp is offline PPO Newshound
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    Re: darwin awards 2006

    "RK." wrote:
    I have found out that these are not the 2006 awards. They are highlights from past years. Sorry about that. Someone sent them to me misrepresented. ops: They are still good though. :smile:
    You are orrect, they are not the 2006 awards. The 2006 Darwin awards won't be out until January of 2007. :wink:

    There's still six months of this year for the idiots left out there to claim the prize.

    "If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you"

  9. #9
    singersp's Avatar
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    Re: darwin awards 2006

    [size=18px]The 2005 Darwin Awards[/size]

    Stupid people are like children, peeing in the crystal clear waters of our gene pool. Occasionally, a stupid person moves us one step closer to our goal of an adult swim by removing himself from the gene pool in a fashion that can only be referred to as morbidly hilarious.

    And then there's the award that dares to step away from our "culture of life," and celebrate the naturally deselected. As the honor's website notes, the annual Darwin Award salutes "the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who remove themselves from it." Now that 2006 has finally rolled around—that leap second felt like an eternity—Wendy "Darwin" Northcutt, the woman behind these curious prizes, has looked back on the past year of accidents and calamities to single out four fatal faux pas for the 2005 Darwin Awards:

    A 24-year-old Swiss second lieutenant picked up an award for learning a lesson Indiana Jones taught us long ago in Raiders of the Lost Ark: Don't attack with a sword if your opponent has a gun.

    AdvertisementWhile trying to demonstrate a surprise knife attack on an armed soldier, the lieutenant grabbed a bayonet and leapt at an unsuspecting young man nearby. The surprised soldier had just finished target practice with live ammunition; he had recently been trained on how to quickly release the safety catch and ready his weapon. The unsuspecting soldier used these newly honed maneuvers to save himself by preparing his gun and firing at the lieutenant with deadly accuracy. The lieutenant didn't get any posthumous medals from the Army, but he did receive a Darwin Award.

    Marko, a 55-year-old man from Croatia, won a Darwin for an ill-fated attempt at chimney sweeping. No, Marko didn't fall down the chimney and asphyxiate from the smoke—that would be far too banal for these awards. Instead, since Marko's chimney was too tall for a broom to clean from below, he decided to weld a weight to a chain attached to his brush and drop the contraption from the roof through the chimney. He had the brush, he had a chain, all he needed was the weight. He found an ideal attachment: small, heavy and apparently perfectly weldable.

    It wasn't until poor Marko began to weld the object to the chain that he realized his weight wasn't some deformed Bocce ball. Rather, it was a hand grenade packed with explosive material. The grenade's contents ignited when Marko heated the metal, and the blast that killed him most likely added more soot to the chimney.

    A 21-year-old named Nguyen from Vietnam snagged a Darwin mention for staking his life on a claim that an old, rusty detonator wouldn't explode. He put the device in his mouth and boldly told a friend to plug him in to a 220-volt socket.

    Had the detonator merely conducted the electricity, Nguyen would have had a very bad day: 220 volts to the chest can cause a cardiac emergency, and Nguyen's salty, wet saliva would have conducted plenty of current to his mouth, giving him an excruciating electric shock. But electrocution was the least of Nguyen's worries. His flawed belief that the detonator wouldn't detonate would be his undoing. The explosion blew out his cheeks and teeth, and he died on the way to the hospital.

    The final award comes a bit late for the late Philip Quinn of Kent, Washington. On November 30th, 2004, for some reason, the 24-year-old Quinn placed a lava lamp on his stove. Maybe he was disappointed with its meager bubbling and hoped that a slow boil would improve the effect.

    Quinn's plan literally backfired when the lava lamp exploded, sending a large shard of glass shrapnel through his heart. Makes one wonder if 70s peaceniks are concerned that their hippie-chic tchotchke has become an instrument of death and destruction.

    Thousands of people die senselessly every year, but only a few have eliminated themselves in such beautifully silly ways that their demise earns them this not-so-coveted prize. This year's winners have sacrificed themselves for the greater good of our evolving species, and they deserve this honor.

    Seed wishes next year's candidates the very worst of luck.

    The Darwin Awards

    "If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you"

  10. #10
    YogidAbEAR's Avatar
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    Re: darwin awards 2006

    darwin awards rule

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