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  1. #1
    singersp's Avatar
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    Darwin Award Nominees

    Darwin Award Nominees

    I know there are a lot of stupid people in the world, but there just has to be a comedian somewhere making these things up - or, perhaps God really has a sense of humor?

    .and once again, it's time for the Darwin Award Nominees. The Darwin's are awarded every year to the persons who died in the most stupid manner, thereby removing themselves from the gene pool. (For whatever reason, residents of Southern states always seem to figure prominently among the Darwin nominees.)

    ***This years nominees are:***

    * Nominee No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]:

    An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriends windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.

    * Nominee No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]:

    James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, MI, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft".

    * Nominee No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]:

    Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith &Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.

    * Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto]:*

    Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the buildings windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association.

    * Nominee No. 5: [The News of the Weird]:

    Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolinas electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.

    * Nominee No. 6: [The Indianapolis Star]:

    A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk, IN. A Jay County man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriffs investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.

    * Nominee No. 7: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]:

    A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred, said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the balcony," Honer said.

    * Finally, THE WINNER!!!: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:*

    Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge. After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement, and striking a tree Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which will never operate as intended. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might both be dead," stated Wallis.

    "I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I cant believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder. Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia (Poole's wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck??? (Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole did, in fact, effectively remove himself from the gene pool.) *

    "If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you"

  2. #2
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    Re: Darwin Award Nominees

    Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the buildings windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association.
    ROTFL!!!!

  3. #3
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    Re: Darwin Award Nominees

    No. 4 on the list I heard about a few years ago and I googled Garry Hoy and it listed his death as 1993

    No. 3
    was from 1992

    and for the winner was a false Urban Legend

    which leads me to, if its on the internet its true but if the internet also says its false what do I do :-

  4. #4
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    Re: Darwin Award Nominees

    I saw #4 and the winner on Mythbusters on tv.
    Both myths were busted it think.
    (maybe the probable but definitely not confirmed)
    SKOL VIKINGS

  5. #5
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    Re: Darwin Award Nominees

    All of these, with their correct dates and status, can be found at http://www.darwinawards.com.
    Urban legends are marked as such.

    Here are the 2007 winners: http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007.html
    Zeus wrote:
    When are you going to realize that picking out the 20 bad throws this year and ignoring the 300 good ones does not make your point?

    =Z=

  6. #6
    COJOMAY is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Darwin Award Nominees

    I know #1 was debunked on Mythbusters.

    The one I liked from this year but it apparently didn't make the list was the guy who shot at his rim with a shotgun to try and loosen a stubborn lug not. He was killed.
    Kentucky Vikes Fan

    When you require nothing, you get nothing; when you expect nothing, you will find nothing; when you embrace nothing, all you will have is nothing.

  7. #7
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
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    Re: Darwin Award Nominees

    "NodakPaul" wrote:
    All of these, with their correct dates and status, can be found at http://www.darwinawards.com.
    Urban legends are marked as such.

    Here are the 2007 winners: http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007.html

    If you get "Footloose" and cut the rug on an oil tank, be careful not to light a cigarette or bong of weed, else you may soon be climbing the proverbial "Stairway to Heaven".
    After smoking marijuana and liquoring themselves up at a popular party spot in Routt National Forest, the teens decided that it would be fun to leap and cavort upon a mostly-empty oil tank.

    Mostly empty...

    "There were several ignitions sources," according to the sheriff. Teenagers were smoking, and there was a bonfire nearby. The energetic gyrations of the dancers caused fumes to leak from the relief valve, and an ignition source sparked a "flashdance" as the crude oil storage tank exploded, hurling two teens 150 yards to their deaths.

    The deceased were identified as Samuel and Christopher, 17 and 19.
    : oops

  8. #8
    singersp's Avatar
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    Re: Darwin Award Nominees

    "BadlandsViking" wrote:
    "NodakPaul" wrote:
    All of these, with their correct dates and status, can be found at http://www.darwinawards.com.
    Urban legends are marked as such.

    Here are the 2007 winners: http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007.html

    If you get "Footloose" and cut the rug on an oil tank, be careful not to light a cigarette or bong of weed, else you may soon be climbing the proverbial "Stairway to Heaven".
    After smoking marijuana and liquoring themselves up at a popular party spot in Routt National Forest, the teens decided that it would be fun to leap and cavort upon a mostly-empty oil tank.

    Mostly empty...

    "There were several ignitions sources," according to the sheriff. Teenagers were smoking, and there was a bonfire nearby. The energetic gyrations of the dancers caused fumes to leak from the relief valve, and an ignition source sparked a "flashdance" as the crude oil storage tank exploded, hurling two teens 150 yards to their deaths.

    The deceased were identified as Samuel and Christopher, 17 and 19.
    : oops
    I think you posted the article to that one BLV. Or something damn similar about two boys who blew themselves up smoking weed.

    "If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you"

  9. #9
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    Re: Darwin Award Nominees

    A couple of those are old ones.
    I still protest the winner, you have to die to win the award.
    Sure, they argue that he took himself out of the gene pool, but I don't like them dancing around the rules.
    Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Mark Twain

  10. #10
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    Re: Darwin Award Nominees

    so does this go under Darwin or instant karma??

    http://www.local10.com/news/14580866/detail.html

    MIAMI -- A Florida man police said was breaking into cars at Miccosukee Resort and Gaming was attacked and killed by a 9-foot alligator while trying to run from police.

    Investigators said officers responded to reports of car break-ins at a Miccosukee Indian Reservation parking lot located at 500 S.W. 177th Ave. in Miami.

    One of the men was quickly captured by officers during the incident last week but the other robbery suspect tried to elude officer by jumping into a large pond behind the facility, according to a WJXT-TV report.


    During the swim, police said, an alligator attacked and killed the man. He was apparently bitten on the head several times.

    The victim's body was recovered at the bottom of the pond about a day after the reported break-ins.

    The men were not identified in the report.

    Meanwhile, an alligator believed responsible for attacking and then killing the man was captured and transported to All American Gator in Pembroke Park.

    "Some alligators just have a nasty disposition and he was just a nasty gator," owner of All American Gator Brian Woods said. "He seemed to have no fear of people."

    The alligator is being kept in storage until the medical examiner's office can inspect the reptile, a trapper said.

    Miccosukee employees said the alligator was well-known on the reservation and was given the nickname "Poncho."

    "Anytime an alligator digests or even kills a person, it is a state law through the Florida Fish and Game that the gator be destroyed," Woods said.
    ...Rodgers had to hold on the ball longer, giving players like Jared "I am completely insane and will literally eat your children" Allen time to sack Rodgers again.And again. And again. Actually I think Rodgers may have nightmares about Jared Allen the rest of the year.

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