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  1. #1
    Prophet's Avatar
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    Cooper Manning Gives Very Well-Received PowerPoint Presentation

    [size=12pt]Cooper Manning Gives Very Well-Received PowerPoint Presentation[/size]
    sportsp.com

    Cooper Manning, the oldest of former NFL quarterback Archie Manning’s three sons and a successful oil and gas stock trader, gave a very well-received PowerPoint presentation to a group of potential investors today. But Cooper fears his succinct, informative, engaging and brightly-colored slideshow may not be enough to wrest any attention away from his younger brothers.



    “First Peyton makes the Super Bowl and wins it. But I could live with that. I was happy for him,” said Cooper. “But now Eli? The little turd black sheep of the family? I thought at least I could always count on him not to overshadow me. I bought and sold $230 million worth of gas and oil stocks last season, but do my mom and dad come watch me give a PowerPoint presentation and root me on like they watch Peyton and Eli do their jobs? No. Not a chance. F—k them.”

    Cooper is the only Manning child not playing in the NFL. However, he was a high school football star as a wide receiver with scholarship offers from several big-time college programs. But a spinal condition cut short his playing career.

    “I was a wide receiver. I had actual athletic ability,” said Cooper. “Like it’s real hard to stand there an throw a football while five or six or seven huge, muscled men block for you. I could run and jump. I had speed and quickness. Have you ever seen Peyton and Eli try to run? It’s embarrassing is what it is. It shames the family name. I have 10 times the athletic ability of my queerbate brothers combined. Do you know that to this day, neither one of them is able to escape a noogie from me?”

    The eldest Manning says his parents anger him the most.

    “My company softball team has won the league championship four of the past seven seasons,” said Cooper. “I dominate my pickup basketball games at my gym. I have run four 5Ks in the past six months alone. I am regularly awarded with a quarterly bonus. I drive a Toyota Camry – and not the base model either. One with a bunch of packages. But do my parents care? Not at all. They only call to talk to me about Peyton and Eli’s latest games or ask me how my kids are doing in school. I’m sick of it.”

    Cooper says the lack of attention he receives has made him consider risking his health to make a football comeback.

    “Can I be as good as Peyton? As good as Eli?” says Cooper. “Not a chance. I haven’t played football in more than 15 years. But I’m old enough to remember seeing my dad play in the NFL. Give me a week to practice and I can be better than that. His career made Eli’s first four years look like he was Dan Marino.”
    Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Mark Twain

  2. #2
    Marrdro's Avatar
    Marrdro is offline Beware My Spreadsheet, Bitches!
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    Re: Cooper Manning Gives Very Well-Received PowerPoint Presentation

    Wonder if they would have started a whole new league if Archie could have put 3 sons in the QB position in the NFL.
    :
    Many many thanks to my talented friend Jos for the new Sig.http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v343/josdin00/Vikings/Marrdro_sig.jpg

  3. #3
    swardsooner is offline Rookie
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    Re: Cooper Manning Gives Very Well-Received PowerPoint Presentation

    Is he serious?
    Cooper has some issues....

  4. #4
    Ltrey33 is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Cooper Manning Gives Very Well-Received PowerPoint Presentation

    "swardsooner" wrote:
    Is he serious?
    Cooper has some issues....
    You didn't think that was a serious article did you?

  5. #5
    VikingMike's Avatar
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    Re: Cooper Manning Gives Very Well-Received PowerPoint Presentation

    "Ltrey" wrote:
    "swardsooner" wrote:
    Is he serious?
    Cooper has some issues....
    You didn't think that was a serious article did you?

    Pickles and Onions are serious foods. ;D
    Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood. - H.L. Mencken

    Come from the land of the ice and snow...

  6. #6
    SKOL's Avatar
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    Re: Cooper Manning Gives Very Well-Received PowerPoint Presentation

    My wife thinks the Manning's are hot.

    The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good -Samuel Johnson - lexicographer
    The word genius isn t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein - Joe Theisman

  7. #7
    i_bleed_purple's Avatar
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    Re: Cooper Manning Gives Very Well-Received PowerPoint Presentation

    I like the Latest Peyton Commercial, its funny.


    "Your going down Manning.."
    "your right, 3 floors, gonna get a massage"

    "Take a Hike.."
    "You know, I might do that...
    Weather here's Sweet!)

  8. #8
    snowinapril's Avatar
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    Re: Cooper Manning Gives Very Well-Received PowerPoint Presentation

    "SKOL" wrote:
    My wife thinks the Manning's are hot.
    My wife calls them Goober One and Goober Two.
    LOL!

  9. #9
    snowinapril's Avatar
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    Re: Cooper Manning Gives Very Well-Received PowerPoint Presentation

    "i_bleed_purple" wrote:
    I like the Latest Peyton Commercial, its funny.


    "Your going down Manning.."
    "your right, 3 floors, gonna get a massage"

    "Take a Hike.."
    "You know, I might do that...
    Weather here's Sweet!)
    I think Peyton is a funny guy.
    It is a dry humor but I like it.

  10. #10
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    Re: Cooper Manning Gives Very Well-Received PowerPoint Presentation

    "snowinapril" wrote:
    "i_bleed_purple" wrote:
    I like the Latest Peyton Commercial, its funny.


    "Your going down Manning.."
    "your right, 3 floors, gonna get a massage"

    "Take a Hike.."
    "You know, I might do that...
    Weather here's Sweet!)
    I think Peyton is a funny guy.
    It is a dry humor but I like it.

    ya i totally agree peyton is 1 funny fuck

    I love that commercial

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