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Thread: Colonoscopies

  1. #1
    shockzilla's Avatar
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    Colonoscopies

    Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam
    were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments
    made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

    >>>
    1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!

    >>>
    2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

    >>>
    3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

    >>>
    4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

    >>>
    5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

    >>>
    6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

    >>>
    7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

    >>>
    8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

    >>>
    9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!

    >>>
    10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

    >>>
    11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

    >> >
    12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."

    >>>
    And the best one of all..

    >>>
    13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"
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  2. #2
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    Re: Colonoscopies

    "shockzilla" wrote:
    Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam
    were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments
    made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

    >>>

    1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!

    >>>

    2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

    >>>

    3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

    >>>

    4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

    >>>

    5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

    >>>

    6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

    >>>

    7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

    >>>

    8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

    >>>

    9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!

    >>>

    10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

    >>>

    11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

    >> >

    12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."

    >>>

    And the best one of all..

    >>>

    13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"
    # 13 is the best ;D

  3. #3
    ultravikingfan's Avatar
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    Re: Colonoscopies

    Thats funny stuff Shock!

    Remember when Fletch got a rectal exam?


    "You got your whole hand up there Doc?'

    "Moon river....."

    ;D

  4. #4
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    Re: Colonoscopies

    "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit
    ROTFL!!!

  5. #5
    shockzilla's Avatar
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    Re: Colonoscopies

    "ultravikingfan" wrote:
    Thats funny stuff Shock!

    Remember when Fletch got a rectal exam?


    "You got your whole hand up there Doc?'

    "Moon river....."

    ;D
    Actually, it was "You usin' the whole fist there Doc?", but it was still hilarious!
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  6. #6
    Marrdro's Avatar
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    Re: Colonoscopies

    If you feel both hands on your shoulders and something is still probing around, you might be in trouble.
    ;D
    Many many thanks to my talented friend Jos for the new Sig.http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v343/josdin00/Vikings/Marrdro_sig.jpg

  7. #7
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    Re: Colonoscopies

    It that instance would it be legal to stab someone in self defence?

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