Thread: Boxer with Prosthetic Face Remains Undefeated

[size=12pt]Boxer with Prosthetic Face Remains Undefeated[/size]

While the decision by an international sports arbitration panel to allow disabled athletes to compete against “able-bodied” athletes was seen as only affecting double-amputee sprinter Oscar Pistorius, the ruling has already made an impact far beyond track and field.



Most notably, in the boxing ring, where prosthetic-faced heavyweight Mike Tate moved his record to 22-0 with a sixth round TKO victory on Saturday night. The 6-foot-3, 245-pound Tate now faces no legal barriers between himself and a shot at the heavyweight crown.

“I think I can be the new face of boxing,” says Tate. “With my iron chin, and I mean that literally, I can’t be defeated.”

Tate was a middling amateur boxer until he received a bad sunburn four years ago.

“My boxing career was all but over,” he said. “It wasn’t the sunburn. I just wasn’t any good at boxing. But I had just read an article about a guy named Oscar Pistorius and his super prosthetic legs. So I played a hunch that disabled athletes would one day be accepted, turned my doctor down on his offer of complimentary aloe for my burn, and opted for an elective, prosthetic face implant.”

Tate hasn’t lost a fight since getting the skin and bone on his face replaced by a space age lead, steel and titanium alloy.

“I can’t feel a thing. Doesn’t matter how hard you punch me,” he said. “Hit me with a metal bat if you want. Nothing. I am unbeatable.”

While some competitors feel Tate has an unfair advantage, few will say so on the record.

“Look, I feel bad for the guy. He has a handicap. I hear he got a pretty painful sunburn on his forehead,” said one boxer who lost to Tate last year. “But it doesn’t seem fair. You simply can’t hurt him. He’s not good at boxing. You just can’t hurt him.”

Tate admits his boxing skills have not improved.

“I do sit-ups to strengthen my core so body shots don’t hurt me,” he said, “but beyond that I do pretty much nothing. I just let them wear themselves down wailing away at my prosthetic face. And, then, when they are completely exhausted, I throw a few weak punches until they fall down.”

But Tate says he does expect his punch to get stronger as he nears his first heavyweight title fight.

“My right shoulder has been feeling a little tight lately. I think I’m sleeping on it weird,” he said. “So I’m thinking of getting it cut off and replaced with a prosthetic arm. A steel one. That’s spring-loaded. I’ll be punching dudes’ heads right off. And it’s all thanks to Oscar Pistorius.”

Haha, that's the rapper MF Doom. I'm wearing a shirt right now with that mask on it.

i guess if he breaks his face, he can just go get a new one

boxers should eat more pickles

Man that was funny, it made my night.

pickles?