Thread: Belichick hires assistant to help spot MILFs

Bill Belichick Hires New Assistant to Help Him Spot Crowd MILFs
sportspickle.com

New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick hired a new assistant coach today and placed him in charge of spotting hot, doable MILFs in the stands for Belichick to hook up with after each game.

"This is the time of the season when the games start to take on even more importance,” said Belichick. “That’s why I need to turn my attentions away from trying to find moms in the crowd who I want to nail, and more towards the game on the field. Because I realize that if I don’t keep winning, the poon is going to dry up one day.”

But Belichick stressed that he still wants to keep a steady flow of MILFs into his bedroom – hence the need for the special assistant.

“The postseason brings stress, and stress requires frequent stress-relieving lovemaking sessions. But it’s a bit of a Catch-22,” he said. “If I win, I stay famous and get to enjoy a bounty of fine MILFs. But to win I have to stay focused on football, and that really cuts into my MILF-hunting time.”

That’s why Belichick made Greg Raines, a former Hollywood talent scout, the newest member of his staff.

“Greg discovered some of the hottest young talent in Hollywood, and I’m hoping his discerning eye can spot some talent for me, too,” said Belichick. “I want him to be able to look past the hats and thick coats that people wear to football games and find me some repressed MILFs with banging bodies who want to explore their wild side.”

Raines says he is up to the challenge.

“Coach Belichick has given me an important job and one he says is more important than any other on his staff – the job of keeping his schwanz wet,” said Raines. “And I’m confident he will be very satisfied with the job that I do. I think that with the playoffs coming up and ticket prices rising, we’ll have some very high-quality, well-maintained MILFs to choose from. I just hope he’s not opposed to fake boobs and plastic surgery. I’ve always found that women who have those are very open to having their self-esteem validated via a good rogering.”

In addition to helping him spot and acquire MILFs, Belichick has tasked Raines with prepping his prospective conquests.

“I’m currently involved in a pretty messy lawsuit in New Jersey because this one guy is all pissed that I’ve been giving it to his wife,” said Belichick. “I don’t need any more headaches like that. So all future MILFs need to know the ground rules. They are there to do me and nothing else. We’re not going to get married and I’m not going to fall in love with them. It’s just sex. If they want to fall asleep for a few hours on my voluptuous chest after we do it, that’s fine. But by morning I want them out of my bed, in their minivan and driving back to their home.”

well you know what they say about MILFS "it does a body good".
YEAH
MMLV

"MetalMike-LoudVike" wrote:

well you know what they say about MILFS "it does a body good".
YEAH
MMLV

This is so True!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Billy's lonely this Christmas...

sportspickle.com is brilliant

That is some f-in' BRILLIANT journalism...
;D

Now I see why everybody thinks hes a football genius!

At least he is looking for MILFS and not GILFS. LOL
This is one of the funniest stories I have read all day! ;D

repressed MILFs with banging bodies who want to explore their wild side...UMMMMM!

repressed MILFs

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