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  1. #761
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
    BBQ Platypus is offline Team Alumni
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    I started this dumb thread when I was still in high school. I'm 24 years old and this thread's still going. Granted, it's going very slowly, but it's still going.

    I'm never going to amount to anything, am I?


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  2. #762
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    You have already amounted to something because of this thread. Think of all the people you have given advice to in here. All the lives you have changed.
    We're bringing purple back.

  3. #763
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    Hello again, everybody! It appears I've been away from you all for quite some time, thus depriving you of my infinite wisdom. But never fear, boys and girls - ol' BBQ is here to talk about the important things. The imminent and pressing issues of our time.

    So naturally, I'd like to draw your attention to this recipe book from the 1970s, officially endorsed by Jon Pertwee, who played the Doctor Who on BBC TV's famous Doctor Who space program.



    This interests me in many ways. Pertwee really seems concerned about the contents of men's stomachs in the way that generally only women are, and I'm not being sexist.

    I like the archaic way in which Pertwee refers to space travel - "shooting off into outer space." That's kind of how I'd expect an eighty year old grandmother to refer to the moon landing in 1969. Or perhaps when the capsule landed, after the rescue team had got the astronauts out, JP would appear with a feather duster and rolling pin and mutter about how men these days are always shooting off into outer space.

    Apparently Jon likes to be "adventurous" at meal times. I felt a shudder of fear when I read this for some reason. He qualifies it by putting "I'm sure I'm not the only one" in front of it, as if trying to convince himself that he isn't alone in his desire for "adventure" around the said times of day. I feel another shudder of fear when I think he might be right.

    Mr. Pertwee is reassured that the meal he is getting was prepared on a property designated for habitation. And he believes that this places him in the "best of all worlds," where I believe he is paraphrasing Gottfried Leibniz from his work Essays on the Goodness of God, the Freedom of Man and the Origin of Evil (1710). In Pertwee's case, the best of all possible worlds refers to a selection of cakes and meat.

    In Pertwee's enormous brown hand, we see what seems to be a bug-encrusted sweet meal. I can't see any in his mouth so I'm supposing that it was baked in that shape.

    To return to the grandmother theme, the "food" items on the table are very much what I would have expected to see served at my grandma's house circa 1992. A floury sponge thing that looks like it might have a miniature Bond villain building a fortress inside it. The sponge thing seems strangely high-up on the table, like it's trying to get closer to JP.

    The plate of beige-flavored meat on the plate doesn't look like anything special - but look closely; there is a minute serving of peas to the side of it! I mean like a microscopic serving of peas! Why bother? And why serve peas on the plate that seems to be designated to carve the meat on?

    Pertwee is wearing a nasty suit. Actually, I say wearing, but it looks more like somebody's made a cardboard cutout of a nasty suit without the head and Pertwee is standing directly behind it. And the background is too yellow, as if somewhere around him Barry Letts was desperately trying to key in a Drashig. (Kudos if you can catch that reference).

    Having examined it more closely, I am faced with a number of profound questions. What does it mean to live in "the best of all possible worlds?" Where do Jon Pertwee's huge brown hands fit into God's plan for us? And more importantly, where does this recipe book fit into Doctor Who canon?

    (I'm inclined to think it lies somewhere between Season 7 and Season 8 myself. Liz has just departed, and his true soulmate/archenemy/gay lover the Master hasn't arrived yet, so he attempts to fill the aching void in his soul with cooking. It is, after all, your inner space that matters most).
    Last edited by BBQ Platypus; 09-28-2012 at 09:22 PM.


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  4. #764
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    Why, here he is right now - shooting off into outer space!

    Last edited by BBQ Platypus; 09-28-2012 at 10:44 PM.


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  5. #765
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    This is still the best topic on the site.
    We're bringing purple back.

  6. #766
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    Why thank you, kind sir.

    Naturally, given such fascinating material, I just had to acquire a copy of my very own. And so, after laying down $12 of my own money ($11.99 of which went to cover international shipping costs), and waiting a week and a half, it finally arrived yesterday.





    It's even more glorious than I imagined. The recipes...the illustrations of smiling headless men, their necks terminating in neatly-tied bowties...



    The coupons valid only at select British co-ops which expired in June of 1974...



    And most importantly of all, the Bacon Extravaganza recipe submitted by Miss J. Austin from Walney Island, Barrow-in-Furness, Lancashire.

    I can say without exaggeration that I am a more enlightened man today than I was yesterday. Certainly I'm a step closer to fulfilling my inner space.

    God bless us all, and long may we go shooting off into space!
    Last edited by BBQ Platypus; 09-30-2012 at 01:16 AM.


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  7. #767
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    Dear BBQ, why do you suppose there were there 11 different doctors in just 27 seasons?

    "If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you"

  8. #768
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by singersp View Post
    Dear BBQ, why do you suppose there were there 11 different doctors in just 27 seasons?
    Because there have actually been 33 seasons. 34 if you count the specials year. 35 if you count the TV movie. (Then there's Dimensions in Time, which if anything should count as a negative season).

    Then there's Season 6B, the fan-speculated hidden season in which the Time Lords sent the Second Doctor on additional missions before forcing him to regenerate into a new incarnation with bigger, browner hands and a deeper concern for his inner space. And Season 7B, which of course contains the Jon Pertwee Recipe Book.
    Last edited by BBQ Platypus; 09-30-2012 at 05:45 PM.


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  9. #769
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    Dear BBQ, If someone had a dream about you, regardless of what was in the dream, would you want to know about it?
    We're bringing purple back.

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