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  1. #61
    Grassdog61's Avatar
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    BBQ, what would you do if you woke up and that Burger King dude was in bed with you? Would you really take a Croissandwich (with meat and cheese and meat and cheese) if he offered it to you?
    614f282e3c576bcf94e1d24d7a29bead

  2. #62
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "losangelis" wrote:
    Dear BBQ Platypus,

    Where the hell has LosAngelis been?

    Cordially,

    Los
    What!? No!!! This is imposible!!! I thought you were dead! According to my calculations, that steamroller should have killed you! I personally cremated your mutilated corpse! Unless...a body double!!! You sneaky bastard! I KILL YOU AGAIN!!! :violent3:

    "i_bleed_purple" wrote:
    BBQ, why is it that iceland is green and greenland is, well icy?
    Not all of iceland is green. I'm sure that parts of it are dirt-colored. Heck, there has to be some water on it somewhere. The mere syntax of the question is flawed. Iceland HAS winters, you know. I refuse to answer your question. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

    "Grassdog61" wrote:
    BBQ, what would you do if you woke up and that Burger King dude was in bed with you? Would you really take a Croissandwich (with meat and cheese and meat and cheese) if he offered it to you?
    First, I'd make sure this wasn't some kind of horrible nightmare. If it weren't, I would scream, jump back in terror, and hope to God we didn't, um...you know...

    Oh, God. I'm getting nightmares just thinking about it. I have to go take a shower.


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  3. #63
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "BBQ Platypus" wrote:
    Dear BBQ,
    Why are you so awesome? What's your secret?
    Love,
    Me
    That's a great question, if I do say so myself. I'm really not sure, but I think that I acquired my awesomeness, along with my super powers, from some decoder ring that I found in a Cracker Jack box. Man, I am so awesome. It really makes me wonder why nobody is asking me any questions. I hate people. People suck. Poo on them.


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  4. #64
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    Random thought: If there were an amp that kicked as much @$$ as I do, it would only go up to 9, but it would be the loudest freaking 9 in the world. Louder than any 10, and certainly louder than any 11. Except for Spinal Tap, anyone with an amp that goes up to 11 is a pu$$y. What, aren't you secure enough with your masculinity to have one that goes up to 10? 10's not good enough for you? And for those of you with an amp that goes up to 10, what's wrong with 9? Couldn't they make 9 louder just as easily as they could make 10 louder? I need no numbers to assure me of my hunky, studly manliness. But any lower than a 9 makes me feel a tad less awesome. Unlike people with amps going to 11, MY maximum amp volume matches the size of my schlong. In feet.


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  5. #65
    ThorSPL's Avatar
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "countrygirl" wrote:
    Dear BBQ,

    Why are Captain Crunch's eyebrows on his hat?

    CG
    That is AWESOME!


    Trust me, I'm a doctor.

    www.twitter.com/ThorSPL

  6. #66
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "ThorSPL" wrote:
    "countrygirl" wrote:
    Dear BBQ,

    Why are Captain Crunch's eyebrows on his hat?

    CG
    That is AWESOME!
    Umm...a bit slow on the answer there, Thor. I answered that one like a jillion years ago. Do you have the world's slowest internet connection or something?


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  7. #67
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    (Sighs)

    Nobody sending me questions. Nobody to make fun of. Now I can't even tear other people down to make myself feel more adequate... :cry:


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  8. #68
    singersp's Avatar
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    Is it true tha BBQ platypus tastes like BBQ chicken? :razz:

    "If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you"

  9. #69
    6-KINGS Guest

    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    Dear BBQ,
    My wife has 7 nipples.
    Should I embrace them or have her sign up as a nipple donor?

    6

  10. #70
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "6-KINGS" wrote:
    Dear BBQ,
    My wife has 7 nipples.
    Should I embrace them or have her sign up as a nipple donor?

    6
    If any of them are on her back I say leave 'em.

    It may appear a bit odd, but she'll be fun for you to slow dance with! :grin:

    "If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you"

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