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  1. #611
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
    BBQ Platypus is offline Team Alumni
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    Re: BBQ Ate Too Many Pixie Sticks for Breakfast This Morning...

    Hurkey turkey.
    Whither Gary Coleman?
    Creativity grows on magical psychotropic trees on Uranus.
    No two creativity berries are the same.

    "erik5032" wrote:
    Dear BBQ,

    Long time reader, first time poster...

    Do the ends really justify the means?

    ex. If i was to go back in time and execute Baby Hitler would that be the right thing to do?
    Dear Erik,

    Long time poster, first time reader of a comment from you...

    That would depend on what ends you were trying to accomplish.
    And how much you're willing to pay ME to have them reached.
    If you've got the scratch, then in my book, the end of "making lots of money" justifies the means of "doing something horrible that, as an evil future dictator of the world, is fully within my capabilities."

    I'm surprised at the example you gave, though.
    Everyone who has ever read science fiction knows that Hitler was rendered immune to time travel assassination by the Hitler Time Travel Exemption Act of 1953.
    This is because, as all time travel stories involving Hitler inevitably agree, someone even more terrible than Hitler will simply rise to take his place.
    And he'll win the war, too.
    This is inevitable and cannot be argued.


    "VikesFan787" wrote:
    If I had 2 apples and I threw one at a man who had one leg and he caught it with his missing leg and called me a mini cooper, could I run backwards into a black hole with ONLY a shirt on?
    Only if they were Granny Smith apples.
    And if you were wearing a white shirt.


    "gregair13" wrote:
    Dear BBQ,

    Thank you for answering my previous question. Since you have such wealth of knowledge, I have another question for you.

    Since the true meaning of life may never be determined and might just be individualistic, do sex offenders live more fulfilling lives (unless they are caught) because they take what they want when they want it and stop at nothing to get it?
    No, because sex offenders are grodypants and I don't like them very much.


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  2. #612
    i_bleed_purple's Avatar
    i_bleed_purple is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: BBQ Ate Too Many Pixie Sticks for Breakfast This Morning...

    dear BBQ

    christmas came to my station and boarded my house party all the way to cancer. Unfortunately the paper disagreed and left the roof alone, which needed the happiness of the table tennis game, what should I do?

  3. #613
    V4L's Avatar
    V4L
    V4L is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: BBQ Ate Too Many Pixie Sticks for Breakfast This Morning...

    Dear BBQ

    What disorders do you suffer from?

  4. #614
    jkjuggalo's Avatar
    jkjuggalo is offline Star Spokesman
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    Re: BBQ Ate Too Many Pixie Sticks for Breakfast This Morning...

    Dear BBQ,

    If I eat cookies made by magical elves, and cereal made by sea captains and Halloween monsters, am I obligated to use my pointer finger to stop a leaky dam holding back a tidal wave of sour breast milk?
    Rock out with your cock out!!!

  5. #615
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
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    Re: BBQ Ate Too Many Pixie Sticks for Breakfast This Morning...

    Dear BBQ,

    Do you have a Christmas tree?

  6. #616
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
    BBQ Platypus is offline Team Alumni
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    Re: BBQ Ate Too Many Pixie Sticks for Breakfast This Morning...

    "i_bleed_purple" wrote:
    dear BBQ

    christmas came to my station and boarded my house party all the way to cancer. Unfortunately the paper disagreed and left the roof alone, which needed the happiness of the table tennis game, what should I do?
    Easy.
    Just use the invisible tuning fork on the vat of atomic jelly beans to summon the Great Cosmic Space Turducken and his magic halitosis bazooka.
    He will deliver the paper to someone else's house.
    Then table tennis can be happy.
    Or you could set it on fire, but that's not really in keeping with the Christmas spirit.

    "V4L" wrote:
    Dear BBQ

    What disorders do you suffer from?
    What makes you think I'll tell you...AGENT XXXFLEZZHO?
    That's right, I know your REAL name!
    I know the truth!
    You're one of the aliens trying to get into my head!
    But I won't let you!
    NO!
    NO!
    NEVER!

    "jkjuggalo" wrote:
    Dear BBQ,

    If I eat cookies made by magical elves, and cereal made by sea captains and Halloween monsters, am I obligated to use my pointer finger to stop a leaky dam holding back a tidal wave of sour breast milk?
    No, but you are obligated to eat tuna made by a sadistic, cannibalistic tuna who slaughters thousands of his fellow fish.

    "BadlandsViking" wrote:
    Dear BBQ,

    Do you have a Christmas tree?
    My family cannot afford a Christmas tree.
    Usually we just strap a bunch of lights onto my brother Paul, dye his hair green, and make him stand still for a very long time.
    We take him down on the 6th, as per tradition.


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  7. #617
    gregair13's Avatar
    gregair13 is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: BBQ Ate Too Many Pixie Sticks for Breakfast This Morning...

    Dear BBQ,

    If someone wanted to buy the same brand of 'Pixie Sticks' that you get, where would you suggest the person should look?

    (this post was 3 years to the day after this topic was created. WOW)
    We're bringing purple back.

  8. #618
    BloodyHorns82's Avatar
    BloodyHorns82 is offline Jersey Retired Feed The Frog Champion
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    Re: BBQ Ate Too Many Pixie Sticks for Breakfast This Morning...

    Dear BBQ,

    I borrowed some leftover foreskin from my neighbor and now it's caught in the zipper (badly).
    What should I do?

  9. #619
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
    BadlandsVikings is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: BBQ Ate Too Many Pixie Sticks for Breakfast This Morning...

    Dear BBQ,

    Do you have a signifant other and if so are they as weird as you?

  10. #620
    V4L's Avatar
    V4L
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    Re: BBQ Ate Too Many Pixie Sticks for Breakfast This Morning...

    Dear BBQ

    Do you like the song Cutty Buddy?

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