Thread: BBQ Ate Too Many Pixie Sticks for Breakfast This Morning...

"BadlandsViking" wrote:

Dear BBQ,

Why do stupid people have kids?

Your guess is as good as mine, my friend.
Frankly, given the state of the world as it is, I'm surprised that many of these people can even get their minds around the very concept of procreation.
Yet somehow, they manage to figure it out.

The inner workings of the minds of stupid people are truly a mystery.
Why, for instance, would anyone choose to become a Packer fan?
Still, on the bright side, it makes it that much easier for me to conquer the world.

Dear Mr. BBQ:

If you're canoeing down the middle of the road, and your right front tire falls off, how many pancakes would it take to roof a doghouse?

Dear BBQ,

Do you know the muffin man?

Why are we asking BBQ Questions?

How many calories are in a breakfast pixie stick?

Dear BBQ,

Can Hot Pockets kill you?

Honorable BBQ,

I am thinking about eating the neighbor's cat.
Do you have any suggestions on how to kill it and cook it?

Dear BBQ,

Why does the word "lisp" have an 's' in it? Isn't that just cruel?

"Marrdro" wrote:

Dear BBQ,

If you had a animal that no one had ever seen before, how would you know what its DNA looked like?

Challenge it to a staring contest.
If you win, you get to keep that animal's soul.
And everyone knows that DNA is the blueprint of the soul, so just hire an architect to map out a blueprint of it.

"Shockzilla" wrote:

Dear Mr. BBQ:

If you're canoeing down the middle of the road, and your right front tire falls off, how many pancakes would it take to roof a doghouse?

5.

"BadlandsViking" wrote:

Dear BBQ,

Do you know the muffin man?

No, sadly, I do not.
I hear he's a swell guy, though.

"erik5032" wrote:

Why are we asking BBQ Questions?

That's a very good question.
And the answer is...........I don't know.
Probably because you're stupid and need a superior intellect such as mine to tell you what to do.
No wonder I abandon these threads for months at a time.
You guys are HELPLESS.

"jmcdon00" wrote:

How many calories are in a breakfast pixie stick?

Enough to kill your dog.

"BadlandsViking" wrote:

Dear BBQ,

Can Hot Pockets kill you?

Only if they're Evil Hot Pockets.
Those things burrow into your chest and lay eggs inside.
You'll want to avoid those.
Just steer clear of the Eldritch Horror section of your local grocery and you should be fine.

"Prophet" wrote:

Honorable BBQ,

I am thinking about eating the neighbor's cat.
Do you have any suggestions on how to kill it and cook it?

Cook it?
Why would you need to do that?

[img width=450 height=307]http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/7/78/Cathuffing.jpg[/img]

"countrygirl" wrote:

Dear BBQ,

Why does the word "lisp" have an 's' in it? Isn't that just cruel?

Because if it didn't have an "s" in it, it would be "lip," and that already means something else.

Dear BBQ,

DId Jack and Jill really have to go up the hill?