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  1. #371
    Prophet Guest

    Re: BBQ Ate Too Many Pixie Sticks for Breakfast This Morning...

    Dear BBQ,

    I just killed 4 assassin penguins. Do you have any good recipes?

  2. #372
    YogidAbEAR's Avatar
    YogidAbEAR is offline Star Spokesman
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    Re: BBQ Ate Too Many Pixie Sticks for Breakfast This Morning...

    Dear BBQ,


    Do fish get cramps after eating?

  3. #373
    YogidAbEAR's Avatar
    YogidAbEAR is offline Star Spokesman
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    Re: BBQ Ate Too Many Pixie Sticks for Breakfast This Morning...

    Dear BBQ,


    Why is Abbreviated such a long word?

  4. #374
    singersp's Avatar
    singersp is offline PPO Newshound
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    Re: BBQ Ate Too Many Pixie Sticks for Breakfast This Morning...

    "Prophet" wrote:
    Dear BBQ,

    I just killed 4 assassin penguins. Do you have any good recipes?
    I'm surprised you weren't already aware of this site;

    The Penguin Recipe Page

    The Flaming Penguin Kabob & Puffy Penguin Omlet are quite delicious!

    "If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you"

  5. #375
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
    BadlandsVikings is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: BBQ Ate Too Many Pixie Sticks for Breakfast This Morning...

    Dear BBQ,

    Who's the baby's daddy?

  6. #376
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
    BBQ Platypus is offline Team Alumni
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    Re: BBQ Ate Too Many Pixie Sticks for Breakfast This Morning...

    "countrygirl" wrote:
    Dear BBQ,

    If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...Does
    that mean the fifth one enjoys it?
    No. The fifth one suffers from a lack thereof, and wishes that he DID have it. It's sad, I know, but in this world, NOBODY can be happy.

    "singersp" wrote:
    BBQ,

    How can your trained assassain penguins even assassinate anyone?

    They can't hold a knife or a gun, can't pull a trigger or a grenade pin. In fact they can't do much of anything damage wise except for perhaps this;

    Or possibly drowning their victims.

    They have no hands or fingers, only flippers.

    By the way, cross another one of your less fortunate soldiers off your list.

    I caught this one snooping around the garage & had to take him out with a sand wedge.
    While the lack of opposable thumbs did initially pose a problem, intense training and velcro have solved that issue.

    It truly is a shame that you killed one of my minions. Now I must force one of my gypsy penguins to place a curse on you. You pick the curse, Madame Pengy!

    Madame Pengy sez: "May all rap music sound the same to you."
    BWAH-HAH-HAH!!!!!!!!!! Good one, Madame Pengy!!! Now his life has been fundamentally and irrevocably altered!!!!!!!

    "shockzilla" wrote:
    Dear Mr. BBQ:

    My mother once told me that if I kept "making that face", it would stay that way. Is that what happened to me?
    Nope. You're just really, really ugly.

    "Prophet" wrote:
    Dear BBQ,

    I just killed 4 assassin penguins. Do you have any good recipes?
    No, but my Pauly Shore clones make a mean penguin-and-maybe-some-other-kinds-of-exotic-meat shish kebob. They'll be right over.

    (P.S. - The secret ingredient is human brain fluid).

    "YogidAbEAR" wrote:
    Dear BBQ,


    Do fish get cramps after eating?
    I don't know. I'll go ask one.

    (Taps loudly on side of goldfish bowl)

    Hey! You! Um...I forgot its name..........I'll just make one up.....um, Peter Frampton..............I just fed you.....are you cramping up?

    (No response; BBQ taps louder)

    Hey, I'm talkin' to you, dipshit! Are you cramping up!?!?!?!?

    ...

    ...

    ...

    ...

    He's not answering...................He's not moving, either..............or keeping his belly down.

    (Upon closer examination, goldfish is dead)

    Yup. That is one dead goldfish. Frampton Comes Dead, now available on a single CD!

    Well, I guess that answers your question, Yogi, and the answer is a definite "yes." Fish really DO get cramps...fatal ones.

    "YogidAbEAR" wrote:
    Dear BBQ,


    Why is Abbreviated such a long word?
    R U kidd'g. me? I d/n have enough hrs./min. in my d. to answer ?'s like that. Quit wst'g. my time, MFer. Go bug sum1 else and q. a. m. t. s., w., c. i. ?'s, k? Fk. u.

    "westvirginiavikings" wrote:
    Dear BBQ,

    Who's the baby's daddy?
    I think you need to sit down for this one. This will come as a shock. The love of your life was impregnated by none other than..........

    SKELETOR!!!!!!!!!



    I have absolutely no f!cking idea how or why your wife had an affair with an evil fictional skeleton....who in all likelihood has no penis.........but the DNA tests don't lie. Your wife chose Skeletor over you. Congratulations!


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  7. #377
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
    BadlandsVikings is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: BBQ Ate Too Many Pixie Sticks for Breakfast This Morning...

    Dear BBQ,

    Do the busts at the NFL hall of fame talk to each other when the lights go out? John Madden said so, but I need your expert opinion.

  8. #378
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
    BBQ Platypus is offline Team Alumni
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    Re: BBQ Ate Too Many Pixie Sticks for Breakfast This Morning...

    "westvirginiavikings" wrote:
    Dear BBQ,

    Do the busts at the NFL hall of fame talk to each other when the lights go out? John Madden said so, but I need your expert opinion.
    Well, when you're as screwed up as John Madden is, all type of weird comes to take a crap on your head. John's lights have been out for quite a long time, if you know what I mean. :tard:


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  9. #379
    CrazyVikingsFan is offline Pro-Bowler
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    Re: BBQ Ate Too Many Pixie Sticks for Breakfast This Morning...

    What question do you ask some one that thinks they know everything or will give you a made up or sarcastic response in return?

  10. #380
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
    BBQ Platypus is offline Team Alumni
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    Re: BBQ Ate Too Many Pixie Sticks for Breakfast This Morning...

    "K-Rob81" wrote:
    What question do you ask some one that thinks they know everything or will give you a made up or sarcastic response in return?
    I don't know. Why don't you ask me?

    Oh, wait. You DID ask me. Yeah.......I guess that sarcastic response didn't really work. So.........................yeah, um...how about "not that question?" Does that work for you?


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

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