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  1. #231
    Potus2028 is offline Hall of Famer
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    why does the sign to stores say :no pets or anilams allowed.. and right under it it says except for blind seeing dogs..

    who did they write that exception for.. if the seeing people dont care, and the blind people cant read it?
    i m better than you, so just give up...

  2. #232
    YogidAbEAR's Avatar
    YogidAbEAR is offline Star Spokesman
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "BBQ Platypus" wrote:
    "singersp" wrote:
    BBQ, "How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?"
    Because the presidential election is something that we want to get over with as soon as possible. Swimsuit competitions should be extended to as long as the television schedule can permit. Lots of candidates debating for hours and hours is boring. Swimsuit competitions are fun and titillating.


    would there be more presidential candidates if there was a bikini contest in the election, or if they were all midgets, cause everyone likes to look at midgets.

  3. #233
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
    BadlandsVikings is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    Dear BBQ,

    I was making french fries in my fry daddy today, and when I pulled the fries out of the hot oil with my hands the skin fell of my hands. What do I do in the future to prevent this from happening?

  4. #234
    YogidAbEAR's Avatar
    YogidAbEAR is offline Star Spokesman
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    where can i buy some marbles, i ate all mine, they're so damn delicious when you dip them in lysol first

  5. #235
    singersp's Avatar
    singersp is offline PPO Newshound
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "westvirginiavikings" wrote:
    Dear BBQ,

    I was making french fries in my fry daddy today, and when I pulled the fries out of the hot oil with my hands the skin fell of my hands. What do I do in the future to prevent this from happening?
    Simple, don't make french fries in your Fry Daddy . :wink:

    "If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you"

  6. #236
    Ltrey33 is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "YogidAbEAR" wrote:
    where can i buy some marbles, i ate all mine, they're so gol 'darnit delicious when you dip them in lysol first
    They're like little lemon balls of joy...

  7. #237
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
    BBQ Platypus is offline Team Alumni
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "BBQ Platypus" wrote:
    "BBQ Platypus" wrote:
    "YogidAbEAR" wrote:
    BBQ, i've got a Question for you


    i was mowing some old mans grass for him then he invited me in for some lemonade, which was fizzy and has some white powder dissovling in the bottom. the the old man told me to take a nap laying on my stomach because i worked so hard. why does my butt hurt now?
    Easy. He accidentally left his dentures in there and they got stuck in your rectum. Call a doctor right away. There is absolutely no other explanation for the pain you're experiencing. Nope. None.
    I've been thinking about it for a while and I think there might be another explanation: you're allergic to lemonade. The old guy put so much powder in there that it couldn't dissolve. So there was solid lemonade powder in your colon, which made your butt hurt. There. NOW I've covered all the possibilities.


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  8. #238
    Prophet Guest

    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    Dear BBQ,

    I cut down the tree and shot the sparrow and have a screensaver of a sunset. I can't find a flamethrower anywhere, but I'm still looking.

    My eyes hurt. What can I do?

  9. #239
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
    BBQ Platypus is offline Team Alumni
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "westvirginiavikings" wrote:
    Dear BBQ,

    I was making french fries in my fry daddy today, and when I pulled the fries out of the hot oil with my hands the skin fell of my hands. What do I do in the future to prevent this from happening?
    Just take them out with your teeth.

    "YogidaBear" wrote:
    where can i buy some marbles, i ate all mine, they're so gol 'darnit delicious when you dip them in lysol first
    Find a bear and cut off his testicles. They make perfect marbles, and they don't taste nearly as good.

    "Prophet" wrote:
    Dear BBQ,

    I cut down the tree and shot the sparrow and have a screensaver of a sunset. I can't find a flamethrower anywhere, but I'm still looking.

    My eyes hurt. What can I do?
    Get some blinds to pull down when you're done looking at the sun. If you do it all day it hurts your eyes.

    If you want a flamethrower, I know a good AK-47, RPG, and flamethrower guy over in Chechnya. I can give you his number if you're interested.


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  10. #240
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
    BadlandsVikings is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    Dear BBQ,

    Where can I find a good henway? Mine keeps dissapearing.

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