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  1. #211
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    Just for you BBQ.... A pygmie pic
    :lol: :lol:

    I'm exercising my ass by doing flexing exercises while typing. Prophet 3:42pm March 16, 2007
    "If God had wanted man to play soccer, he wouldn't have given us arms." Mike Ditka

  2. #212
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "countrygirl" wrote:
    Just for you BBQ.... A pygmie pic
    [IMG]http//i14.photobucket.com/albums/a305/countrygirlginger/pygmies.jpg[/IMG] lol lol
    Are they tiny-arsed Malaysian pygmies?


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  3. #213
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    Bwah-hah-hah!!! That's right, PP.Ople, Tales from the Crapt has RETURNED FROM THE DEAD!!!!

    And now, today's schizophrenic word salad special (with ranch dressing and cupcakes - I like cupcakes):
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Campfire Songs for the Calcium Deficient: Part about a jillion and three - Adventures of the Laser-Guided Killer "Welcome to Disneyworld" Bees

    I am lead quills once. Once, perhaps once upon a Tuesday, or yesterday, or Yestertuesday, or Yestuesday (whichever sounds more efficient). I dislike cats. They never liked me. They give me the hives. I always needs to remember: verbs HAS to agree with their subject. I need to uses the infinitive correct and remember my adverbs. Some verbs advertise for Viagara. That's why they're called adverbs. My pet mongoose died. My neighbor shot him. Then I ate his scalp. Seltzin power! I can't find my percentage distilled flying rabbit's dog-eating petunias! Are YOU an Affeldiefeldeufeldafeldorf? I think I could jumpshoot a hangnail, but only in Cambodia if it were 700,002.63 years ago. What say the bear people of Dortugal? I'm sorry. They're not in. Maybe you could call back at 65 o'clock.


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  4. #214
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    CLEAR! (zap!)

    Campfire Songs for the Calcium Deficient: Part 82 - The Horrendous Stench of Mother's Gym Sock Pie

    I finally got last Tuesday's paper. My paperboy is a snail. Seriously. They even call him a papersnail. The front page said:
    CIA Briefing: "No Verbs in this Sentence"
    Actually, that is incorrect. Those words do not form a sentence.
    I have been sentenced to a mandatory sentence of incorrect years in jail.
    Oh, the incorrectness of years! I weep for Jim Bob, Jr.
    And his son, Jim Bob, Junior Whopper with Cheese.
    And it's not just Cheese, it's Chinese Cheese.
    Chinese Cheese that makes you Wheeze and Sneeze. Kill me, please.
    I've sunk to the level of writing in Seussian rhyme.
    It's rhyme time. Lemon and lime time. Time to kill a mime.
    Yes, to kill a mime would be sublime.
    Oh, screw it. I can't go on like this.

    My only regret is that I have not filled an obsessive notebook with various poems and ramblings. And rye bread. I like rye bread.

    And then the Enchanted Forest of Opium-Induced Fantasy caught fire, killing every cute fuzzy animal inside.

    The End.


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  5. #215
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    Random thought: How come the word "phonetic" isn't pronounced the way it's spelled?


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  6. #216
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    Carry on my random son
    You’ll have fleas when you are done
    Shave your head and paint your chest
    Don't eat pie no more

    Let me tell you how I got my contusion
    I was looking for the Strawberry Fusion
    I was boring everybody
    With this stupid song

    Though my eyes can see I still was a blind man
    Though my armpits stink I still am a fat man
    I hear the voices when I'm creaming
    I can hear them say

    Carry on my random son
    You’ll have fleas when you are done
    Shave your head and paint your chest
    Don't eat pie no more

    Masquerading as a man with a pen1s
    When I ran into a twelve-armed machinist
    And if this song gets overplayed, well
    It surely means that Kansas blows

    On a stormy sea of white Jergen's lotion
    Try to get my piece of crap car in motion
    I set a course for Angry Salad Island
    But I hear the voices say

    Carry on my random son
    You’ll have fleas when you are done
    Shave your head and paint your chest
    Don't eat pie no more

    Carry on, you will sail onto heaven
    Carry on, nothing equals eleven
    Your bowels are no longer empty,
    But Suzy’s ferret waits for you

    Carry on my random son
    You’ll have fleas when you are done
    Shave your head and paint your chest
    Don't eat pie no more


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  7. #217
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    :laughing3: :thumbright: :thumbleft:

    How long did it take you to come up with those lyrics?

    "If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you"

  8. #218
    Ltrey33 is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "BBQ Platypus" wrote:
    Random thought: How come the word "phonetic" isn't pronounced the way it's spelled?
    Because it comes from the Latin word "phoneticus" which means "representing speech sounds".

  9. #219
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "singersp" wrote:
    :laughing3: :thumbright: :thumbleft:

    How long did it take you to come up with those lyrics?
    About 10 minutes.


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  10. #220
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    When is "Campfire Tales for the Calcium Deficient: Part 83" due to come out?

    "If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you"

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