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  1. #141
    MrGopher16's Avatar
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    *Posts in BBQ's forum to hopefully delay his mass murder plot a few days*
    ;-)

  2. #142
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    Random Story (courtesy of Daniel Pinkwater):

    Once upon a time there was a race between a rabbit and an eggplant. Now, the eggplant, as you know, is a member of the vegetable kingdom, and the rabbit is a very fast animal.

    Everybody bet lots of money on the eggplant, thinking that if a vegetable challenges a live animal with four legs to a race, then it must be that the vegetable knows something.

    People expected the eggplant to win the race by some clever trick of philosophy. The race was started, and there was a lot of cheering. The rabbit streaked out of sight.

    The eggplant just sat there at the starting line. Everybody knew that in some surprising way the eggplant would wind up winning the race.

    Nothing of the sort happened. Eventually, the rabbit crossed the finish line, and the eggplant hadn't moved an inch.

    The spectators ate the eggplant.


    Moral: Never bet on an eggplant.


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  3. #143
    MrGopher16's Avatar
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "BBQ Platypus" wrote:
    Random Story (courtesy of Daniel Pinkwater):

    Once upon a time there was a race between a rabbit and an eggplant. Now, the eggplant, as you know, is a member of the vegetable kingdom, and the rabbit is a very fast animal.

    Everybody bet lots of money on the eggplant, thinking that if a vegetable challenges a live animal with four legs to a race, then it must be that the vegetable knows something.

    People expected the eggplant to win the race by some clever trick of philosophy. The race was started, and there was a lot of cheering. The rabbit streaked out of sight.

    The eggplant just sat there at the starting line. Everybody knew that in some surprising way the eggplant would wind up winning the race.

    Nothing of the sort happened. Eventually, the rabbit crossed the finish line, and the eggplant hadn't moved an inch.

    The spectators ate the eggplant.


    Moral: Never bet on an eggplant.

    *sigh*....if only i had read this post before betting my lifesavings on the eggplant to win on skating with celebrities...

    :sad:
    ;-)

  4. #144
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "MrGopher16" wrote:
    "BBQ Platypus" wrote:
    Random Story (courtesy of Daniel Pinkwater)

    Once upon a time there was a race between a rabbit and an eggplant. Now, the eggplant, as you know, is a member of the vegetable kingdom, and the rabbit is a very fast animal.

    Everybody bet lots of money on the eggplant, thinking that if a vegetable challenges a live animal with four legs to a race, then it must be that the vegetable knows something.

    People expected the eggplant to win the race by some clever trick of philosophy. The race was started, and there was a lot of cheering. The rabbit streaked out of sight.

    The eggplant just sat there at the starting line. Everybody knew that in some surprising way the eggplant would wind up winning the race.

    Nothing of the sort happened. Eventually, the rabbit crossed the finish line, and the eggplant hadn't moved an inch.

    The spectators ate the eggplant.


    Moral Never bet on an eggplant.

    *sigh*....if only i had read this post before betting my lifesavings on the eggplant to win on skating with celebrities...

    sad
    No...I think your problem was watching "Skating With Celebrities" in the first place! :lol:


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  5. #145
    MrGopher16's Avatar
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "BBQ Platypus" wrote:
    "MrGopher16" wrote:
    "BBQ Platypus" wrote:
    Random Story (courtesy of Daniel Pinkwater)

    Once upon a time there was a race between a rabbit and an eggplant. Now, the eggplant, as you know, is a member of the vegetable kingdom, and the rabbit is a very fast animal.

    Everybody bet lots of money on the eggplant, thinking that if a vegetable challenges a live animal with four legs to a race, then it must be that the vegetable knows something.

    People expected the eggplant to win the race by some clever trick of philosophy. The race was started, and there was a lot of cheering. The rabbit streaked out of sight.

    The eggplant just sat there at the starting line. Everybody knew that in some surprising way the eggplant would wind up winning the race.

    Nothing of the sort happened. Eventually, the rabbit crossed the finish line, and the eggplant hadn't moved an inch.

    The spectators ate the eggplant.


    Moral Never bet on an eggplant.

    *sigh*....if only i had read this post before betting my lifesavings on the eggplant to win on skating with celebrities...

    sad
    No...I think your problem was watching "Skating With Celebrities" in the first place! :lol:
    I was just trying to make it more fun. I was dead wrong though...DEAD WRONG!
    ;-)

  6. #146
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    Campfire Songs for the Calcium Deficient - Chapter ___-__-____ (Please provide SSN for identity theft purposes): I'm Pretty Sure This Means Something, But I'm Definitely Sure That Whatever It Means is Completely Unimportant

    Once upon a time, um, uh...something, uh...happpened, that, um...never mind.

    THE END


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  7. #147
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    I think you may be onto something here!
    ;-)

  8. #148
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    Yeah...something...about, like...some guy from some show...who did something secret somewhere...probably for himself...or maybe the government...or a business...or a crime syndicate...or something else...

    That's my prediction. There. Tell me when that happens, 'cuz...I think it will. I'm psychic. Probably.


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  9. #149
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    :beathorse:

    This thread is seriously...the opposite of alive right now. No pulse. At all. Deader than the Packers' title chances.

    It smells like grody old dead bodies in here. You can, like...see the maggots festering on it and everything. Eww. Gross.

    Well, looks like my only choice is to use my evil powers to resurrect this thread in the form of...A ZOMBIE THREAD!!!!!!!



    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  10. #150
    NordicNed is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "BBQ Platypus" wrote:
    :beathorse:

    This thread is seriously...the opposite of alive right now. No pulse. At all. Deader than the Packers' title chances.

    It smells like grody old dead bodies in here. You can, like...see the maggots festering on it and everything. Eww. Gross.

    Well, looks like my only choice is to use my evil powers to resurrect this thread in the form of...A ZOMBIE THREAD!!!!!!!


    Maybe it's time you give this thread a proper buriel, and start up something new...

    Yes, New.....Like a Butterfly just out of it's cacoon,......A sun rising for a new day......

    Yes, New.............thats it.....


    I LOVE THE SMELL OF VICTORY IN THE MORNING AIR.

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