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  1. #111
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
    BBQ Platypus is offline Team Alumni
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "DemonicViking" wrote:
    Ok, I have a question...

    Is it really true that everytime you wack off the lord kills a cat?

    if this is true I think I might have wiped out the entire kitty population by now.
    Hmm...I think I answered this one in the original "Incurably Insane" thread...

    Yes. Learn to hate cats, as I have. Actually, I didn't have to learn to do so. They seem to hate anybody who isn't extremely uninteresting, and could possibly have a life outside of taking care of cats. But that's beside the point. Screw kittens. They should die. Boo, cats!!!


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  2. #112
    Prophet Guest

    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    Dear BBQ,

    What do platypus' taste like?

  3. #113
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
    BBQ Platypus is offline Team Alumni
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    Random C&C Generals - Zero Hour Quote: "It's so hard these days to find a doctor who will make house calls. Aaaaahhh, but Dr. Thrax still does! Hee-hee-hee-hehhhh!"



    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  4. #114
    DemonicViking is offline Ring of Fame
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    Lol. Good answer.

  5. #115
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "Prophet" wrote:
    Dear BBQ,

    What do platypuses taste like?
    Note: This quote has been edited to look like it came from someone who knows the basic rules of plurality in the English language, and that the technically correct plural form of "platypus" is "platypuses," although "platypi" is an increasingly popular colloquial term and can be considered acceptable. It also assumes that the, um...quote-ee...was intending to use the plural rather than the posessive, as they do not specify to which item belonging or pertaining to the platypus they are referring. But I guess I should give you a break. You are clearly unable to read:

    "BBQ Platypus" wrote:
    "Cyviking" wrote:
    Dear BBQ Platypus,

    I was wondering what religon you are since it is close to the hollidays. Also could you give me some good gift ideas for my wife?

    sincerly,
    Cyviking

    P.S. Does BBQ Platypus really taste like chicken?
    Dear Cyviking,

    Although I am personally a non-denominational Christian, I think religion should have nothing to do with your holiday gift-giving ideas. Christmas has already become almost totally commercial as it is; you might as well acknowledge it, excluding your family from your gift-giving list, then further narrowing it down until it includes only ME, and sending me your entire life's savings, car, and wife. I also want your soul if you haven't already sold it to someone else.

    Much turkey, stuffing, and heartwarming TV specials,
    BBQ Platypus

    P.S. Yes. Everything tastes like chicken. Fish tastes like chicken. Calimari tastes like chicken. Strawberries taste like chicken. Barbeceued Platypus tastes like chicken. So, ladies, if you like the taste of chicken...
    Maybe you should check if your question has been asked before next time, jerk! :violent3:




    JK! :lol:

    Don't let this deter you from asking questions - the dumber, the better!


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  6. #116
    singersp's Avatar
    singersp is offline PPO Newshound
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    BBQ,

    Is it true you own an inflatable female penguin?

    "If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you"

  7. #117
    Prophet Guest

    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "BBQ Platypus" wrote:
    "Prophet" wrote:
    Dear BBQ,

    What do platypuses taste like?
    Note: This quote has been edited to look like it came from someone who knows the basic rules of plurality in the English language, and that the technically correct plural form of "platypus" is "platypuses," although "platypi" is an increasingly popular colloquial term and can be considered acceptable. It also assumes that the, um...quote-ee...was intending to use the plural rather than the posessive, as they do not specify to which item belonging or pertaining to the platypus they are referring. But I guess I should give you a break. You are clearly unable to read:

    "BBQ Platypus" wrote:
    "Cyviking" wrote:
    Dear BBQ Platypus,

    I was wondering what religon you are since it is close to the hollidays. Also could you give me some good gift ideas for my wife?

    sincerly,
    Cyviking

    P.S. Does BBQ Platypus really taste like chicken?
    Dear Cyviking,

    Although I am personally a non-denominational Christian, I think religion should have nothing to do with your holiday gift-giving ideas. Christmas has already become almost totally commercial as it is; you might as well acknowledge it, excluding your family from your gift-giving list, then further narrowing it down until it includes only ME, and sending me your entire life's savings, car, and wife. I also want your soul if you haven't already sold it to someone else.

    Much turkey, stuffing, and heartwarming TV specials,
    BBQ Platypus

    P.S. Yes. Everything tastes like chicken. Fish tastes like chicken. Calimari tastes like chicken. Strawberries taste like chicken. Barbeceued Platypus tastes like chicken. So, ladies, if you like the taste of chicken...
    Maybe you should check if your question has been asked before next time, jerk! :violent3:




    JK! :lol:

    Don't let this deter you from asking questions - the dumber, the better!
    lmao, thanks for clearing everything up for me.

    Why can I only see things that are far away from me and really close to me? The mid-range stuff is all invisible.

  8. #118
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "singersp" wrote:
    BBQ,

    Is it true you own an inflatable female penguin?
    No. I get this question all the time. It all stemmed from a particular source that misquoted me very badly (for some reason, the reporter was stuffing cotton balls and, bizarrely enough, Fruity Pebbles into his ears as he was interviewing me, so he couldn't hear most of what I was saying and screwed up most of what he heard - he has since been killed). What I actually said was "I clone invincible evil penguins in order to amass an army large enough to rule the world."

    "Prophet" wrote:
    Why can I only see things that are far away from me and really close to me? The mid-range stuff is all invisible.
    Because I have sabotaged your radar to hide the large penguin strike force armed with Hellfire missiles that is hiding outside your house, concentrated in the middle of its operational range. They shall receive the order to fire in five seconds. Prepare to die.


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  9. #119
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    Random product placement: You want Taco Bell. You need to eat more Taco Bell. Taco Bell is your god. Worship Taco Bell. Sell your posessions - join the Taco Bell Army!!!


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  10. #120
    Prophet Guest

    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    I like Taco John's. At least they have hot sauce.

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