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  1. #91
    6-KINGS Guest

    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "BBQ Platypus" wrote:
    "Potus2028" wrote:
    Where do babies come from?

    Why hasn't daddy come back from work in three years?
    1) Well, Mr. President, when one man and one woman pretend to love each other very much because they desperately want to get laid, it is an inevitable law of Hollywood film-making that the woman gets knocked up. Thus, in order to realistically portray the script, the evil Hollywood Baby Generating Facility creates a baby, bakes it in the Baby Oven, and places it in the actress's uterus. This also happens to be what happens in real life. Everything that they told you in school is a lie. In other words, the Hollywood aliens beam them into the womb from outer space, using radio signals very similar to the ones that they use to read our thoughts.

    2) Well, your daddy deals coke, which is a big-boy name for a yummy, white sugary powder often diluted with Pixie Stix (R) that almost alleviates the horrible suffering of our painful existence when we snort it up our noses. If the coke-sniffer is lucky, they die and go to hell, which is eternal bliss compared to their current lives. But the Man just won't leave coke dealers like your daddy alone, so he ran away to Afghanistan, where he had a spiritual revival, stopped dealing coke, and joined the Taliban. But the fact that he hates your guts and doesn't ever want to see that typical snotty look on your face ever again made the move a lot easier for him.
    This will go down as one the most original writtings ever on PPO!!!

    LMFAO BBQ!!!

    Dude you are way too funny!!!

  2. #92
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
    BBQ Platypus is offline Team Alumni
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    Random music link of the day:

    Click here to hear the heavy, kick-@$$, original sound of The Shaggs. Say what you want about them, but you can't deny that there is no other band in the world that sounds anything remotely like them. You may have heard mentally handicapped, guitar-toting toddlers attempt to duplicate this sound, but they can't even come close to the sheer awesome magnitude of its craptacular power. If you don't believe me, click on that link, and boldly go where only a relatively small number of people (when compared to the global population) have gone before, and cross into the final frontier of the Great Galaxy of Crap (all the way to the Crap Nebula). Wow...a drummer and a guitarist...both hideously off beat...in different ways...at the same time...

    Note: The caption on the site I got this from reads:

    "The Shaggs. This is a girl band (sisters, actually) from the U.S. These gals couldn't find a tune if they got hit by a music truck. One of Frank Zappa's favorite bands. 'Course, Frank was kinda strange."


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  3. #93
    Prophet Guest

    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    Wow, nice song. I don't think I could get that song in my head even if I listened to it 100 times while on LSD.

  4. #94
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
    BBQ Platypus is offline Team Alumni
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    And now, the list you haven't been anticipating for years:

    BBQ Platypus's Conclusive List of 10 Extremely Crappy Research Topics and Theses
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    1. Finally, a real philosophical reason why live organ transplants are a bad idea.

    2. A midget wrestling match between Napoleon Bonaparte and Verne Troyer, while it would be hard-fought and well-contested, would end in a decisive victory for Verne Troyer and the forces of Dr. Evil.

    3. People are very stupid and generally suck really bad.

    4. Out of every color known to man, the only color that can have a taste associated with it is red-orange.

    5. In a sold-out pay-per-view match to the death held in a large, heavily forested animal sanctuary, hunting area, or paintball-playing facility in British Colombia, Wolverine could easily kick Spiderman's @$$. In the streets and skyscrapers of New York, however, it would be slightly more difficult for Wolverine to kick Spiderman's @$$.

    6. It, like, totally sucks that we have to do a research paper.

    7. The backslash ("") and vertical line ("|") key have no use in any language used by humans, and thus do not belong on a keyboard and should be moved into the bowels of compiler code where it belongs.

    8. Nobody exists. Not even me.

    9. Since 1=2, 11-year-olds should be allowed to drink.

    10. B.S.-ing one's way through a research paper is a truly useless art form.


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  5. #95
    MrGopher16's Avatar
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    Ugh, after taking a comp class fall semester the idea of any thesis makes me want to vomit.
    ;-)

  6. #96
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "MrGopher16" wrote:
    Ugh, after taking a comp class fall semester the idea of any thesis makes me want to vomit.
    I got the idea from a comp class. I didn't know exactly what to write about, so I decided to use process of elimination to determine what NOT to write about.


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  7. #97
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "BBQ Platypus" wrote:
    "MrGopher16" wrote:
    Ugh, after taking a comp class fall semester the idea of any thesis makes me want to vomit.
    I got the idea from a comp class. I didn't know exactly what to write about, so I decided to use process of elimination to determine what NOT to write about.
    Just pick carefully!! If you don't you'll end up with something like this:

    "By investing in alternative energy sources to oil we can reduce pollution and help keep this planet cleaner."

    I had to go a whole semester researching and arguing this...AND i had to do it without falling asleep!! It all started at the beginning when i was asked to come up with an idea for a thesis, and to get the assignment over i just threw it out there...little did i know what i said would end up having to be my thesis.

    That said...Be careful!
    ;-)

  8. #98
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "MrGopher16" wrote:
    "BBQ Platypus" wrote:
    "MrGopher16" wrote:
    Ugh, after taking a comp class fall semester the idea of any thesis makes me want to vomit.
    I got the idea from a comp class. I didn't know exactly what to write about, so I decided to use process of elimination to determine what NOT to write about.
    Just pick carefully!! If you don't you'll end up with something like this

    "By investing in alternative energy sources to oil we can reduce pollution and help keep this planet cleaner."

    I had to go a whole semester researching and arguing this...AND i had to do it without falling asleep!! It all started at the beginning when i was asked to come up with an idea for a thesis, and to get the assignment over i just threw it out there...little did i know what i said would end up having to be my thesis.

    That said...Be careful!
    I know. I already have an idea of what I'm going to write about. I was just talking about the start of the project when I was unsure about my thesis. I actually was considering choosing #10 (they said we could write about anything as long as it was supported by research - it's basically the same research paper they make you do about three times a year from sixth grade on).


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

  9. #99
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "BBQ Platypus" wrote:
    "MrGopher16" wrote:
    "BBQ Platypus" wrote:
    "MrGopher16" wrote:
    Ugh, after taking a comp class fall semester the idea of any thesis makes me want to vomit.
    I got the idea from a comp class. I didn't know exactly what to write about, so I decided to use process of elimination to determine what NOT to write about.
    Just pick carefully!! If you don't you'll end up with something like this

    "By investing in alternative energy sources to oil we can reduce pollution and help keep this planet cleaner."

    I had to go a whole semester researching and arguing this...AND i had to do it without falling asleep!! It all started at the beginning when i was asked to come up with an idea for a thesis, and to get the assignment over i just threw it out there...little did i know what i said would end up having to be my thesis.

    That said...Be careful!
    I know. I already have an idea of what I'm going to write about. I was just talking about the start of the project when I was unsure about my thesis. I actually was considering choosing #10 (they said we could write about anything as long as it was supported by research - it's basically the same research paper they make you do about three times a year from sixth grade on).
    Maybe you should have went with;

    Is it possible to train Antartic penguins to be trained killer assasins & why I think so?

    "If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you"

  10. #100
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
    BBQ Platypus is offline Team Alumni
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    Re: Tales from the Crapt (and other random BBQ rants)

    "singersp" wrote:
    "BBQ Platypus" wrote:
    "MrGopher16" wrote:
    "BBQ Platypus" wrote:
    "MrGopher16" wrote:
    Ugh, after taking a comp class fall semester the idea of any thesis makes me want to vomit.
    I got the idea from a comp class. I didn't know exactly what to write about, so I decided to use process of elimination to determine what NOT to write about.
    Just pick carefully!! If you don't you'll end up with something like this

    "By investing in alternative energy sources to oil we can reduce pollution and help keep this planet cleaner."

    I had to go a whole semester researching and arguing this...AND i had to do it without falling asleep!! It all started at the beginning when i was asked to come up with an idea for a thesis, and to get the assignment over i just threw it out there...little did i know what i said would end up having to be my thesis.

    That said...Be careful!
    I know. I already have an idea of what I'm going to write about. I was just talking about the start of the project when I was unsure about my thesis. I actually was considering choosing #10 (they said we could write about anything as long as it was supported by research - it's basically the same research paper they make you do about three times a year from sixth grade on).
    Maybe you should have went with;

    Is it possible to train Antartic penguins to be trained killer assasins & why I think so?
    Hmm...wouldn't you like to know? :twisted:


    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

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