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  1. #1
    Prophet's Avatar
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    Oct 2006

    Barack Obama Rips Off Rex Ryan's Jets Hiring Speech Almost Word for Word

    [size=12pt]Barack Obama Rips Off Rex Ryan's Jets Hiring Speech Almost Word for Word[/size]

    Barack Obama inspired the nation on Tuesday with his inauguration speech as the new president of the United States. But new Jets head coach Rex Ryan, set to be introduced as the new head coach of the New York Jets less than 24 hours later, claims Obama stole his planned speech nearly word-for-word.

    “I don’t know how he got a hold of what I had prepared, and I know it may sound extremely improbable that Barack Obama would steal a speech from me – Rex Ryan, some random defensive coordinator – but he did,” said Ryan. “While I realize he is very busy and may have been out of oratory material, I wish he hadn’t ripped me off. I worked hard on my speech. It was going to be pretty sweet.”

    Ryan says Obama opened his speech exactly as he had planned to address Jets fans after being introduced by team owner Woody Johnson: “I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors.”

    The new coach says he was to continue by acknowledging the team’s late-season collapse, stirring “Jets nation” with a trusted football word play – a war analogy: “That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred.”

    He was to go on: “These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land -- a nagging fear that the Jets’ decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.”

    After acknowledging the problems, Ryan says he planned to then instill hope in the team’s fanbase: “Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, Jets fans: They will be met. On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord. On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn-out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our game plans.”

    Ryan acknowledges his speech was perhaps a bit more verbose and high-minded than the average new coach introduction – and says that’s exactly why the alleged theft so bothers him.

    “I’m a big, doofy-looking, chubby dude. I mean, I’m Buddy Ryan’s son, for crying out loud,” he said. “I scream moron. Most people just assume I’m sort of dull and stupid. That’s why I wanted to deliver such a speech – to prove I am more than that.”

    Now forced to adjust on the fly for his introduction, Ryan said he will probably have to resort to the same boring, cliché-filled speech given by most every new head coach.

    “I’ll probably say that I want to change the culture of losing or something like that,” said Ryan. “And then maybe I’ll say how a strong defense is important to winning a championship. Nothing special. But trust me, had President Obama not stolen my speech, I totally would have wowed everyone. Honest. I speak really, really ... good and stuff.”
    Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Mark Twain

  2. #2
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    Apr 2006

    Re: Barack Obama Rips Off Rex Ryan's Jets Hiring Speech Almost Word for Word

    They both need to eat more pickles

  3. #3
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    Re: Barack Obama Rips Off Rex Ryan's Jets Hiring Speech Almost Word for Word

    I am watching the highlights of it on tv right now. I did not know he had a personality.
    We're bringing purple back.

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    El Vikingo's Avatar
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    Nov 2006

    Re: Barack Obama Rips Off Rex Ryan's Jets Hiring Speech Almost Word for Word

    El underdog.

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