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  1. #1
    triedandtruevikesfan is offline Jersey Retired
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    For any Cub fans out there....

    It's hard to put your finger on it. You have to have a dullness of mind and spirit to play here. I went through pyschoanalysis and that helped me deal with my Cubness."--Jim Brosnan, former Cubs pitcher

    "If I managed the Cubs, I'd be an alcoholic."--Whitey Herzog

    "There's nothing wrong with this team that more pitching, more fielding and more hitting couldn't help."--Bill Buckner

    "You get tired of looking at garbage in your own backyard."--Cubs manager Lee Elia in 1983 about why the Cubs got rid of so many players. Elia was fired later that same season.

    "The Cubs were taking batting practice, and the pitching machine threw a no-hitter."--Radio deejay

    "The only bad thing about being released by the Cubs is that they made me keep my season tickets."--Ken Rietz, ex-Cub third baseman

    "Would the lady who left her nine kids at Wrigley Field please pick them up immediately? They are beating the Cubs 4-0 in the 7th inning."--Radio deejay

    "One thing you learn as a Cubs fan: When you bought your ticket, you could bank on seeing the bottom of the ninth."--Joe Garagiola

    "The Chicago Cubs are like Rush Street--a lot of singles, but no action."--Garagiola again

    Q: Did you hear about the new Cubs soup?

    A: Two sips and then you choke.

    "The latest diet is better than the Pritikin Diet. You eat only when the Cubs win."--pianist George Shearing


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Twenty major events that have occurred since the Chicago Cubs last laid claim to a World Series championship:

    1. Radio was invented; Cubs fans got to hear their team lose.

    2. TV was invented; Cubs fans got to see their team lose.

    3. Baseball added 14 teams; Cubs fans get to see and hear their team lose to more clubs.

    4. George Burns celebrated his 10th, 20th, 30th, 40th, 50th, 60th, 70th, 80th, 90th and 100th birthdays.

    5. Haley's comet passed Earth twice.

    6. Harry Caray was born....and died. Incredible, but true.

    7. The NBA, NHL and NFL were formed, and Chicago teams won championships in each league.

    8. Man landed on the moon, as have several home runs given up by Cubs pitchers.

    9. Sixteen U.S. presidents were elected.

    10. There were 11 amendments added to the Constitution.

    11. Prohibition was created and repealed.

    12. The Titanic was built, set sail, sank, was discovered and became the subject of major motion pictures, the latest giving Cubs fans hope that something that finishes on the bottom can come out on top.

    13. Wrigley Field was built and becomes the oldest park in the National League.

    14. Flag poles were erected on Wrigley Field roof to hold all of the team's future World Series pennants. Those flag poles have since rusted and been taken down.

    15. A combination of 40 Summer and Winter Olympics have been held.

    16. Thirteen baseball players have won the Triple Crown; several thanked Cubs pitchers.

    17. Bell-bottoms came in style, went out of style and came back in.

    18. The Chicago White Sox, Cleveland Indians, Boston Red Sox and the Florida Marlins have all won the World Series.

    19. The Cubs played 14,153 regular-season games; they lost the majority of them.

    20. Alaska, Arizona, Hawaii, Oklahoma and New Mexico were added to the Union.


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    A wicked Chicago man died and went to the place all wicked people go. The Devil decided to shove him in a room and cranked the heat and humidity up.

    The man smiled. When the Evil One asked why the man was smiling he said: "Just like Chicago in Spring"

    So the Most Evil One cranked up the heat and humidity more. The man removed his coat, smiled, and said:

    "Just like Chicago in Summer"

    This time the Destroyer of Beauty cranked the heat and humidity to maximum.

    The man removed his shirt and tie and said

    "Just like Chicago in August"

    The Devil then got an idea. He shut off the heat and turned on the air conditioning. The room froze in seconds. Ice was everywhere. Polar bears hid in dens because it was so cold. Satan, confident he had finally won, peaked in the man's room only to find the man cheering and partying frantically....

    "The Cubs won the World Series...The Cubs won the World Series..."

  2. #2
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
    BadlandsVikings is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: For any Cub fans out there....





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