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  1. #1
    Prophet's Avatar
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    Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet

    [size=12pt]Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet[/size]
    July 30, 2008 | Issue 44•31

    [img width=450 height=243]http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/gore_article_large.article_large.jpg[/img]

    EARTH—Former vice president Al Gore—who for the past three decades has unsuccessfully attempted to warn humanity of the coming destruction of our planet, only to be mocked and derided by the very people he has tried to save—launched his infant son into space Monday in the faint hope that his only child would reach the safety of another world.

    "I tried to warn them, but the Elders of this planet would not listen," said Gore, who in 2000 was nearly banished to a featureless realm of nonexistence for promoting his unpopular message. "They called me foolish and laughed at my predictions. Yet even now, the Midwest is flooded, the ice caps are melting, and the cities are rocked with tremors, just as I foretold. Fools! Why didn't they heed me before it was too late?"

    Al Gore—or, as he is known in his own language, Gore-Al—placed his son, Kal-Al, gently in the one-passenger rocket ship, his brow furrowed by the great weight he carried in preserving the sole survivor of humanity's hubristic folly.

    "There is nothing left now but to ensure that my infant son does not meet the same fate as the rest of my doomed race," Gore said. "I will send him to a new planet, where he will, I hope, be raised by simple but kindly country folk and grow up to be a hero and protector to his adopted home."...
    Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Mark Twain

  2. #2
    i_bleed_purple's Avatar
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    Re: Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet

    don't forget manbearpig.
    He'll get you.

  3. #3
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    Re: Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet

    "Prophet" wrote:
    [size=12pt]Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet[/size]
    July 30, 2008 | Issue 44•31

    [img width=450 height=243]http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/gore_article_large.article_large.jpg[/img]

    EARTH—Former vice president Al Gore—who for the past three decades has unsuccessfully attempted to warn humanity of the coming destruction of our planet, only to be mocked and derided by the very people he has tried to save—launched his infant son into space Monday in the faint hope that his only child would reach the safety of another world.

    "I tried to warn them, but the Elders of this planet would not listen," said Gore, who in 2000 was nearly banished to a featureless realm of nonexistence for promoting his unpopular message. "They called me foolish and laughed at my predictions. Yet even now, the Midwest is flooded, the ice caps are melting, and the cities are rocked with tremors, just as I foretold. Fools! Why didn't they heed me before it was too late?"

    Al Gore—or, as he is known in his own language, Gore-Al—placed his son, Kal-Al, gently in the one-passenger rocket ship, his brow furrowed by the great weight he carried in preserving the sole survivor of humanity's hubristic folly.

    "There is nothing left now but to ensure that my infant son does not meet the same fate as the rest of my doomed race," Gore said. "I will send him to a new planet, where he will, I hope, be raised by simple but kindly country folk and grow up to be a hero and protector to his adopted home."...
    I wonder if that pod has X-M or Sirius in it. Wouldn't it be Ironic if they found him listening to twisted sister and 2 live crew while he was cruising the galaxies ;D


  4. #4
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    Re: Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet

    "UffDaVikes" wrote:
    "Prophet" wrote:
    [size=12pt]Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet[/size]
    July 30, 2008 | Issue 44•31

    [img width=450 height=243]http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/gore_article_large.article_large.jpg[/img]

    EARTH—Former vice president Al Gore—who for the past three decades has unsuccessfully attempted to warn humanity of the coming destruction of our planet, only to be mocked and derided by the very people he has tried to save—launched his infant son into space Monday in the faint hope that his only child would reach the safety of another world.

    "I tried to warn them, but the Elders of this planet would not listen," said Gore, who in 2000 was nearly banished to a featureless realm of nonexistence for promoting his unpopular message. "They called me foolish and laughed at my predictions. Yet even now, the Midwest is flooded, the ice caps are melting, and the cities are rocked with tremors, just as I foretold. Fools! Why didn't they heed me before it was too late?"

    Al Gore—or, as he is known in his own language, Gore-Al—placed his son, Kal-Al, gently in the one-passenger rocket ship, his brow furrowed by the great weight he carried in preserving the sole survivor of humanity's hubristic folly.

    "There is nothing left now but to ensure that my infant son does not meet the same fate as the rest of my doomed race," Gore said. "I will send him to a new planet, where he will, I hope, be raised by simple but kindly country folk and grow up to be a hero and protector to his adopted home."...
    I wonder if that pod has X-M or Sirius in it. Wouldn't it be Ironic if they found him listening to twisted sister and 2 live crew while he was cruising the galaxies ;D

    Wow I never thought about it. That would be ironic.

  5. #5
    BadlandsVikings's Avatar
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    Re: Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet

    I bet Al smells like onions

  6. #6
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    Re: Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet

    good for him
    We're bringing purple back.

  7. #7
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    Re: Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet

    "jmcdon00" wrote:
    "UffDaVikes" wrote:
    "Prophet" wrote:
    [size=12pt]Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet[/size]
    July 30, 2008 | Issue 44•31

    [img width=450 height=243]http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/gore_article_large.article_large.jpg[/img]

    EARTH—Former vice president Al Gore—who for the past three decades has unsuccessfully attempted to warn humanity of the coming destruction of our planet, only to be mocked and derided by the very people he has tried to save—launched his infant son into space Monday in the faint hope that his only child would reach the safety of another world.

    "I tried to warn them, but the Elders of this planet would not listen," said Gore, who in 2000 was nearly banished to a featureless realm of nonexistence for promoting his unpopular message. "They called me foolish and laughed at my predictions. Yet even now, the Midwest is flooded, the ice caps are melting, and the cities are rocked with tremors, just as I foretold. Fools! Why didn't they heed me before it was too late?"

    Al Gore—or, as he is known in his own language, Gore-Al—placed his son, Kal-Al, gently in the one-passenger rocket ship, his brow furrowed by the great weight he carried in preserving the sole survivor of humanity's hubristic folly.

    "There is nothing left now but to ensure that my infant son does not meet the same fate as the rest of my doomed race," Gore said. "I will send him to a new planet, where he will, I hope, be raised by simple but kindly country folk and grow up to be a hero and protector to his adopted home."...
    I wonder if that pod has X-M or Sirius in it. Wouldn't it be Ironic if they found him listening to twisted sister and 2 live crew while he was cruising the galaxies ;D

    Wow I never thought about it. That would be ironic.
    Actually there has probably been an insideous right wing plot to ensure the station is locked into Rush Limbaugh.

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