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  1. #1
    Prophet Guest

    30 statements that will make you smile

    1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

    2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

    3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

    4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

    5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

    6. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

    7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

    8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

    9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

    10. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.

    11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

    12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

    13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

    14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

    15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

    16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

    17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

    18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

    19. Procrastinate Now!

    20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

    21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

    22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

    23. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

    24. They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.

    25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

    26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

    27. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

    28. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

    29. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.

    30. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

  2. #2
    cajunvike's Avatar
    cajunvike is offline Jersey Retired
    Join Date
    Sep 2004

    Re: 30 statements that will make you smile

    For the REAL answer to 13, see 8.


  3. #3
    Freya's Avatar
    Freya is offline Team Alumni
    Join Date
    Dec 1969

    Re: 30 statements that will make you smile

    Yah, I smiled.

    Personally, I don't think there is intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

  4. #4
    BBQ Platypus's Avatar
    BBQ Platypus is offline Team Alumni
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Saint Paul, MN

    Re: 30 statements that will make you smile

    Here's a 31st for you, Prophet:

    Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get caught in plane engines.

    "This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff."

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