Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: 2 Cows

  1. #1
    Del Rio Guest

    2 Cows

    DEMOCRAT:
    You have two cows.
    Your neighbor has none.
    You feel guilty for being successful.
    Barbara Streisand sings for you.

    REPUBLICAN:
    You have two cows.
    Your neighbor has none.
    So?

    SOCIALIST:
    You have two cows.
    The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
    You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

    COMMUNIST:
    You have two cows.
    The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
    You wait in line for hours to get it.
    It is expensive and sour.

    CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

    DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
    You have two cows.
    The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man
    in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your
    government.

    BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:
    You have two cows.
    The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for
    the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.

    AMERICAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
    You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
    You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
    You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have down sized and are
    reducing expenses.
    Your stock goes up.

    FRENCH CORPORATION:
    You have two cows.
    You go on strike because you want three cows.
    You go to lunch and drink wine.
    Life is good.

    JAPANESE CORPORATION:
    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
    produce twenty times the milk.
    They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
    Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

    GERMAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows.
    You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent
    quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
    Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

    ITALIAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
    While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
    You break for lunch.
    Life is good.

    RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
    You have two cows.
    You have some vodka.
    You count them and learn you have five cows.
    You have some more vodka.
    You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
    The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

    TALIBAN CORPORATION:
    You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
    You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
    Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the
    hospital.

    IRAQI CORPORATION:
    You have two cows.
    They go in hiding.
    They send audio tapes of their mooing.

    FLORIDA CORPORATION:
    You have a black cow and a brown cow.
    Everyone votes for the best looking one.
    Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one.
    Some people vote for both.
    Some people vote for neither.
    Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
    Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best
    looking cow.

    CALIFORNIA CORPORATION:
    You have millions of cows.
    Most are illegal.

  2. #2
    skol_vikes! is offline Rookie
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Posts
    141

    2 Cows

    lmao, i lived my whole life in both florida and california, so i can relate to the last 2.
    "If it's not fun, you're not doing it right. "
    ~ Fran Tarkenton

  3. #3
    TheAnimal93 is offline Team Alumni
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Posts
    2,308

    2 Cows

    the bureaucracy one is killing me!!!!!!

    one thing about workin for da man is there are more jokes passed around daily than official business!
    lmao

Similar Threads

  1. Sweden to study belching cows
    By BadlandsVikings in forum The Clubhouse
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-21-2008, 12:01 PM
  2. Cows with Guns
    By Prophet in forum The Clubhouse
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 05-27-2007, 11:01 PM
  3. Cows Also Have Regional Accents
    By Benet in forum The Clubhouse
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 08-23-2006, 01:50 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •