Thread: Taking a dump.

After this Favre audio, I think I will need to take one.

Ate a hodgepodge of various foods from mulitple ethnicities yesterday at an international food fair.
I'm pretty sure I just took a mulicultural dump that was similar to the hoover dam being blown up by dynamite when the reservoir was filled with raw fermented sewage.
I need to take a shower.

I just took the worlds most uncomfortable dump.
Everything that could have gone wrong, did go wrong.


Started out, open the stall...there's piss on the seat.
Wipe that up, lay my nest and brace for impact.
Thing felt like I was giving birth, and only got wider as my crap continued.
Halfway through it broke off.
Now, I'm sitting there with half a crap in me, and half out.
Onwards we go... get a bit more out and it breaks off.
this time, i was nearing my end, but unfortunately, that makes it harder to push out.

Well this sucker wasn't going anywhere and after 10 minutes of pushing I decided to pack it in.
Went to wipe, and it never stopped.
Had to get new TP a few times until... uh. oh... TP's reached its end.
Had to reach under the stall, grab some tp from the adjacent stall to finish my wipe.
Stood up, and immediately that feeling where its just way to uncomfortable for about 5 minutes after hits me.
Washed my hands (out of soap) and as I'm walking out someone walked in, to a real stinker I might add.
Walk of shame on my way out.


Oh, and did I mention this was all at work?

I drank about 5 cans of mountain dew Game fuel yesterday, today my shit was totally green, creepy.

"jmcdon00" wrote:

I drank about 5 cans of mountain dew Game fuel yesterday, today my shit was totally green, creepy.

I thought they only had blue and red?

"jmcdon00" wrote:

I drank about 5 cans of mountain dew Game fuel yesterday, today my shit was totally green, creepy.

I once ate a boatload of fried beets once for money.
My shit was purple the next day.
Not only do I bleed Purple, but I also shit it.

"i_bleed_purple" wrote:

I just took the worlds most uncomfortable dump.
Everything that could have gone wrong, did go wrong.


Started out, open the stall...there's piss on the seat.
Wipe that up, lay my nest and brace for impact.
Thing felt like I was giving birth, and only got wider as my crap continued.
Halfway through it broke off.
Now, I'm sitting there with half a crap in me, and half out.
Onwards we go... get a bit more out and it breaks off.
this time, i was nearing my end, but unfortunately, that makes it harder to push out.

Well this sucker wasn't going anywhere and after 10 minutes of pushing I decided to pack it in.
Went to wipe, and it never stopped.
Had to get new TP a few times until... uh. oh... TP's reached its end.
Had to reach under the stall, grab some tp from the adjacent stall to finish my wipe.
Stood up, and immediately that feeling where its just way to uncomfortable for about 5 minutes after hits me.
Washed my hands (out of soap) and as I'm walking out someone walked in, to a real stinker I might add.
Walk of shame on my way out.


Oh, and did I mention this was all at work?

OMG HA

"marstc09" wrote:

"jmcdon00" wrote:

I drank about 5 cans of mountain dew Game fuel yesterday, today my pooh was totally green, creepy.

I thought they only had blue and red?

The soda was blue the poop was neon green, go figure.

"jmcdon00" wrote:

"marstc09" wrote:

"jmcdon00" wrote:

I drank about 5 cans of mountain dew Game fuel yesterday, today my pooh was totally green, creepy.

I thought they only had blue and red?

The soda was blue the poop was neon green, go figure.

easy... blue + yellow = green.

"i_bleed_purple" wrote:

I just took the worlds most uncomfortable dump.
Everything that could have gone wrong, did go wrong.


Started out, open the stall...there's piss on the seat.
Wipe that up, lay my nest and brace for impact.
Thing felt like I was giving birth, and only got wider as my crap continued.
Halfway through it broke off.
Now, I'm sitting there with half a crap in me, and half out.
Onwards we go... get a bit more out and it breaks off.
this time, i was nearing my end, but unfortunately, that makes it harder to push out.

Well this sucker wasn't going anywhere and after 10 minutes of pushing I decided to pack it in.
Went to wipe, and it never stopped.
Had to get new TP a few times until... uh. oh... TP's reached its end.
Had to reach under the stall, grab some tp from the adjacent stall to finish my wipe.
Stood up, and immediately that feeling where its just way to uncomfortable for about 5 minutes after hits me.
Washed my hands (out of soap) and as I'm walking out someone walked in, to a real stinker I might add.
Walk of shame on my way out.


Oh, and did I mention this was all at work?

I think you should be proud of that story.

The challenging crap makes you more of a man