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Thread: Taking a dump.

  1. #571
    Marrdro's Avatar
    Marrdro is offline Beware My Spreadsheet, Bitches!
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    Re: Taking a dump.

    "Prophet" wrote:
    "cogitans" wrote:
    "Prophet" wrote:
    Had one of the worse dumps ever this afternoon.
    Held it in and waited until everyone was out of the house...had some reading material lined up, ready for a thorough cleansing.
    Just got it there to spend the time and somebody starts pounding on the door and even when I ignored it they wouldn't let up.
    I had to pinch it off early and do the half-roll of TP wipe.
    Some woman's car broke down and she wanted help and she refused to believe that nobody was home.
    She ruined my dump and I am bitter about it.
    To top it off she had a partial beard and weighed more than I do.
    gol 'darnit her.
    Sounds like a win-win situation. You do a good deed, gets a few manpoints for the pain, and is confirmed that everyone is an idiot.

    Did you get back on the can to finish off?
    True, good points.
    Yes, finished the job, but the moment was ruined so it was just a plop and run.
    Turds are tapered just for the Plop and Run dump.
    Many many thanks to my talented friend Jos for the new Sig.http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v343/josdin00/Vikings/Marrdro_sig.jpg

  2. #572
    OchoCinco's Avatar
    OchoCinco is offline Coordinator
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    Re: Taking a dump.

    What a Sh*tty story.......

  3. #573
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    The Dropper is offline Star Spokesman
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    Re: Taking a dump.


  4. #574
    COJOMAY is offline Jersey Retired
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    Re: Taking a dump.

    [img width=450 height=334]http://www.geocities.com/joketender/Taking_a_dump.jpg[/img]
    Kentucky Vikes Fan

    When you require nothing, you get nothing; when you expect nothing, you will find nothing; when you embrace nothing, all you will have is nothing.

  5. #575
    Marrdro's Avatar
    Marrdro is offline Beware My Spreadsheet, Bitches!
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    Re: Taking a dump.

    "COJOMAY" wrote:
    [img width=450 height=334]http://www.geocities.com/joketender/Taking_a_dump.jpg[/img]
    I got caught in the woods one day without my emergency roll.


    Had to sacrifice both legs of my boxers.
    You should have seen the look on Wildwomans face when she did the laundry on that load.

    Boxers weren't boxers anymore.
    ;D
    Many many thanks to my talented friend Jos for the new Sig.http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v343/josdin00/Vikings/Marrdro_sig.jpg

  6. #576
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    Re: Taking a dump.


  7. #577
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    Re: Taking a dump.

    "singersp" wrote:
    [size=13pt]The Official Survival Guide to Taking A Dump at Work[/size]

    Posted 01.15.2001 by Areth


    TURD BURGLAR

    A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact......

    How can you be sure it's not Senator Craig from Idaho?
    Tuco the world.....

  8. #578
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    jmcdon00 is offline Jersey Retired Snake Champion, Moto Trial Fest 2: Mountain Pack Champion, LL City Truck 2 Champion, Arithmetic sequence Champion, Troops Tower Defense Champion
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    Re: Taking a dump.

    "Marrdro" wrote:
    "COJOMAY" wrote:
    [img width=450 height=334]http://www.geocities.com/joketender/Taking_a_dump.jpg[/img]
    I got caught in the woods one day without my emergency roll.


    Had to sacrifice both legs of my boxers.

    You should have seen the look on Wildwomans face when she did the laundry on that load.

    Boxers weren't boxers anymore.

    ;D
    No birch trees around? ;D

  9. #579
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    Re: Taking a dump.

    I hate it when this shit happens.


    "If at first you don't succeed, parachuting is not for you"

  10. #580
    Mr Anderson's Avatar
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    Re: Taking a dump.

    Ok, this may seem ridiculous, but here it goes.

    So I'm home from school for the weekend visiting my dad in the hospital, my brother Kevin and I are home by ourselves when he comes running downstairs.

    He says "Oh my god Erik, come here", so I follow him upstairs and I ask "what?" and he goes "I flushed once already and half went down"(this is before I walked in the bathroom) and I ask "what happened to the other half?" and he says "just look"

    and when I peer into the toilet, I see a turd, that is no joke 1 3/4"- 2" in diameter, and probably about 7 inches long, wedged in the hole of the toilet. It wasn't a clog, but the turd wasn't going down. The toilet would flush and all of the water would go down the pipe around this behemoth, rock of a shit.

    The length didn't impress me(although that 7 of it was only half) but think about how thick this turd was.

    I'm a very big guy, and I've taken some mammoth dumps in my 18 years, but I can't imagine pushing out something that thick. It's like birth in the toilet. My brother is 14, and about 5'7 140, so nowhere near as big as I am.

    I think I still have him, and all of my friends, beat in the largest overall dump competition, but after seeing this thing today, Kevin will surpass me in the near future.

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